Do you want more kids??

Ashly - posted on 05/18/2010 ( 123 moms have responded )

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My name is Ashly and i am new to this community, i have a 7 month old and the last few weeks i have seriously thought about starting to try for my next one. I don't know how to tell my husband thought without freakin him out and him putting a wall up. I want to have two, possibly three but no more and i want to have them pretty close in age. How many kids do you want and how would you tell your SO???

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Jodi - posted on 05/19/2010

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I would like to have 4 children. Before my son was born I told my fiance I always wanted 4 children and said he only wants two. After our son was born, he wants more than two and I am a little scared to have four! Funny how that works!

I have an almost 8 month old and I have been getting the baby fever quite a bit lately too! We are going to start trying for another one after our wedding this summer! As for telling him that I wanted to try for another one so soon... it was his idea!
Good luck!

Brandi - posted on 05/21/2010

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I have 3 kids with another on the way. We got pregnant with our second when our first was 10 mths. I had always mentioned wanting our kids to be close in age because my brother and I were so far apart (6 years). So when dd was 6 mths old I mentioned that we should start talking & thinking about the next one and how close we really wanted them to be. We actually had a hard time conceiving number 2 (and 3 for that matter) so it took 4 mths to conceive him. Our first two are 19 mths apart, our 2nd & third are 21 mths apart, and our third and our fourth (due in august) will be 20 mths apart. The first & last were both "SURPRISE" babies haha! They were easy...our 2nd and 3rd were not so easy and they were "planned". Sometimes life just does what it wants, you only have so much control. Casually bring it up and see how he reacts. : )

Martha - posted on 05/18/2010

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I have a little girl who will be 8 on the 30th this month. I have always wanted more than one child. I am single tho so I have refrained from really trying. I also have medical issues. I want another baby so bad. I have thought about maybe having another even tho I am not married because I dont see myself getting married anytime soon. I would suggest watching your husband and when he seems in a good mood you could say "honey, I was wondering if you ever want more children?" You could say I would like to have more. With your baby still so young you may have to compromise on a time. I would just casually say things like wouldn't it be nice for (your baby's name) to have a little brother/sister. See how he reacts to these casual comments and slowly over a period of time let it become a serious conversation, but be careful, men are very different from women.

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Samantha - posted on 05/25/2010

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My little guy is soon to be 10 months. And I can say with certainty that I do not want another one! One is more than enough for me. My fiance sat me down to speak with me just last week, and he came right out and asked if I wanted to have another. I must say I was quite surprised! If you're wanting to try for more, I wouldn't beat around the bush with it. Though I'd wait a bit longer before trying again. Take some time to enjoy your little one first. Don't stress out your body too much.

Katie - posted on 05/25/2010

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hi Ashly
my name is katie. I have a 20 month old son and a 6 month old daughter,they are 14 months apart. Im a single mom and its hard to take of them with both of them in diapers.I would wait till you kid is out of diapers, it will make life so much easyer

Tiffany - posted on 05/25/2010

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My names Tiffany. I have a daughter who is 21 months old. and i'm expecting our second in december so she will be 2 1/2 when her new brother or sister comes. me and my husband talk and thought that once my daughter turned 1 we would try for our next one so they werent soo close that we didnt enjoy our first one... we might want one more after this one... we plan on just waiting a year or two till we have it.... i'd just bring it up to your husband and say when do you think we should have our next one? find out how he feels, let him know how you feel.

Krista - posted on 05/25/2010

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I have two children my oldest a little girl who is almost 27 months and my youngest just turned 14 months. I found out i was pregnant with my second when my first was 5 months old. They are bout 13 months apart. I was not mentally prepared for the second one but I was pregnant so I just had to go along with everything. I am a young mommy who is still in college and works. My 2nd pregnancy was a tuff one I had too much going on with school and work and I was also taking care of a baby. I ended up developing preeclampsia and had to be put on bed rest. I had the my son 8 weeks early and still finished my semester at college. I do want maybe 1 or 2 more because my kids are very close to each other. They always have each other to play with and keep entertained and they will develop that special bond that me and my brother have. I'm going to wait until I finish college to have another one. What I want to tell you is that there is never a right time to have kids, everyone has other responsibilties in life and right now your husband may feel overwhelmed with the first one. I know i thought the same thing, but I have 2 kids and its overwhelming sometimes, but I wouldn't change it for nothing. As soon as you have 1 baby or 2 or how ever many you have your instincts are going to kick in and you all will be able to handle your children.

Dana - posted on 05/25/2010

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Hey hey

I do not have that issue with my SO, when Zander was 2 months old (now 19 weeks) He looked at me and said "so when do we start trying for a girl" I think HE IS crazy.. Sometimes I think I want another, but then I think of a C Section, or Labor and Delivery, and having gone through both.. I feel scared to death about getting preg again, right now its one of my biggest fears.. I have a 6 year old, who is such an amazing helper with our little one, He also wants a baby sister.. So I am out numbered.. Maybe when Zander is 3ish I will try again, that will be our last.. I am 27 now.. So I think 30 is my limit..

Erin - posted on 05/25/2010

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I definitely want at least one more! I have two boys my oldest is 3 and my youngest is 9 months, so we're going to wait a few years before we try again. But we had this conversation before and while I was pregnant with my first child. I'm an only child and knew I wanted more than one and I wanted them close in age, and thankfully he was totally on the same page but we were undecided on how many until recently. I used to want like 6 and he only wanted so we compromised and said 4 but now as long as the next one is a girl I'm fine with 3 lol...so I think you should just ask him how he feels but also decide what you really want too so you don't get in an argument over something that really isn't a huge deal to you!

Nikki - posted on 05/25/2010

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I have two boys they are 17 months apart. They are really close to eachother. If I could stay home I would love to have another baby! I love being pregnant and and I had my second natural I would reccomend that way to anyone!!

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I'd like to have another 3 but currently im a single mummy so it's not going to happen anytime too soon

Elzette - posted on 05/25/2010

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Hi Ashly

My name is Elzette,

We also want another child,we have a son who turn 4 years end of May.We have start trying when he turned 2 years (2008) get pregnant at January 2009,but miscarriage in March 2009 at 8 weeks,we then have to wait 3 months to try again,then we get pregnant at Feb 2010 but in dact I wasn`t really pregnant have had a anti-embroy pregnancy,that means no baby... So we are still trying....And we hope that we will have a healthy baby in 2011...

Amanda - posted on 05/25/2010

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Well Ashly, My name is Amanda and I have a three year old son and my second one is due in october, we were planning to have the children close together (we started trying when my son was nine months old) but could not but now we are blessed with our second, we are still planning to have one or two more but when we have not decided and frankly I told my husband how many kids I wanted while we were dating and thinkg about marriage. He didn't want as many but we talked it out and came to a compramise that is still open for discussion...I want four he wants two or three but he might go for four....I say just bring up the subject with your husband, if he decides to freak out then drop the subject until you think he is ready, but he is your husband he should want to at least talk it out with u, just let him know your not telling him to or demanding another one you just want to talk about it and hear what he is thinking also, let him know what your thinking and try to come to a decision that is good for the both of you....good luck

Yolanda - posted on 05/25/2010

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My Son is 6 months and we are already thinking of trying again! I would love to have all of my kids (3 or 4) close together so as to get the little kid stuff (diapers) out of the way pretty quick! We will probably start trying in 3 months time (so they would be 18 months apart or more).

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I have a 14 month old son, and for the past month or so I have been seriously thinking about how I want another one. Things aren't really together enough right now to think about another one, but I have brought it up (I said "wouldn't it be awesome if Danny had a little brother to play with?" lol). Maybe I will bring it up more seriously in a few months or a year. You've just got to wait until you feel like it's a good time to bring it up (no financial stresses, etc), and just be honest about your feelings!

Emily - posted on 05/25/2010

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I have an almost 14month old baby girl and got pregnant with my second daughter when she was about 7-8 months old. Although it was more of an accident, I am looking forward to having two girls so close in age. I am due Aug. 5th and my girls will be 16 months apart. Go for it!

Meagan - posted on 05/25/2010

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My kids are 11 months apart. That was not planned but I am glad it happened that way. They will be best friends and will go through most things at around the same time. If you think that you can handle it then yea I would have another one right now. if you did then they would be almost two years apart which wouldn't be so bad. But its up to you and your SO. You guys would have to talk about it and make sure you are both ready.

Rebecca - posted on 05/25/2010

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Hi there, I had my daughters 13 months apart, and i love it!!! Its more like having twins than anything, but i love it, it keeps me busy and they adore each other because the are so close. I think if you want to do it, routine is the be all and end all, bath time, dinner time, nap time etc. My girls do everything at the same time, so mummy has time to herself through the day, yeah there are days its really hard, but in the end, you wait two years, you have a child in their terrible twos and a baby, you wait five years and you end up with a jealous child..... there is always a catch, i preffered mine close together, my partner originally didnt want any kids, now we have two, i just told him it was what i wanted and he agreed and he just adores them too! Good luck!

CLAIRE - posted on 05/25/2010

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Hi Ashly,

Like you I wanted another baby when my eldest was 7 months (he's 3 now), and my daughter is 19mths, there is a 16 month age gap btwn them. Ask your hubby how he would feel about another baby (remember to add you carry it for 9 months) that's what I said to mine lol!, seriously it's hard work with a small age gap but well worth it. Go for it hth! I want more now but hubby says no, will keep at him till he hopefully gives in :)

Natasha - posted on 05/25/2010

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My name is Natasha and I have a 22-month-old daughter and I wouldn't mind having 2 more kids and 3 is my limit. I'm thinking about waiting having more till she is in Kindergarten.

Kelly - posted on 05/25/2010

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my children are 18 months apart and they used to play pretty wel wel but as my dughter got more active to more they started to fight i have to play them sepratly now bcuz of the fighting wen there both active they can be a handfull and jus sit him down on a day when hes not to strssed and tel him

Stacie - posted on 05/25/2010

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Hi ashly im stacie my boys are just over 16 months apart and although it was a little hard for the 1st 4/5months my youngest is nearly 7months now and they are already playing together so well, it makes all the hard work very worth it, my husband and i also want maybe one more but will def wait at least 2years this time dont think i could manage 3under 4 lol x

Robyn - posted on 05/25/2010

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well my daughter is 8months and i am already nearly 18weeks pregnant with my next one, the difference between us is that this second baby came as a complete shock to us as we were not looking to have anymore jus yet but after a long sensible discussion we decided that we would really love another :) my advice to u is to approach the subject carefully and hopefully u will get what u want x

Louise - posted on 05/25/2010

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I have a ten week old daughter and I would absolutely love another child. My husband and I would like 4 children and would like the first 2 quite close together. We are thinking about trying for our second child when our daughter is about 6 months old. Every couple are different so how you approach the subject with your other half is down to you. My husband has been aware from the start that I wanted 2 children quite close together so was not suprised when I said I wanted to start trying again soon. Good luck

Rana - posted on 05/25/2010

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Well, It's really different from each and every person. For us, we have a 17 months old daughter. We only want one more. They age difference will probably best be 4 to 5 years. I want to enjoy them and do it perfectly. I want it to be a happy time spending it with the kids and not feeling that I'm too busy and tired to even shower. I still want to take good care of ME.

Larissa - posted on 05/25/2010

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My son in 6 & a half months old... Me and my partner had discussed that i would like 3 kids when i was preg with our son, he is a bit unsure about it as he was a man with no intentions in having kids but however now is a fantastic father, i have told him that i would like to start trying again when our son is 9-12 mnths old as long as we are both emotionally and financially ready. i would like my children close together but i will not think about having another bub unless we are both ready and stable enough to cope with a 2nd = ) hope it helps

Danika - posted on 05/25/2010

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I want to have a big family (maybe 5?), with all the children between 1 and 3 years apart. I was kind of nervous at talking to my partner about more children as we are only a young couple, and I thought the idea of so many would scare him. The thing I had to remember though is that we are together for a reason - to support each other. Even though he wasn't so sure about having a big family, he did agree to try for another one in the next year, and take it from there :)

Tarina - posted on 05/24/2010

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well, at the risk of being one of those lucky wives, theres really no gentle way to tell him that you're thinking about it. Just sit him down on a day hes not TOO stressed, and say look... ive been thinking and trying to plan how we should maybe work on the rest of our family, and this is what I think might work for us. What do u think? -- if he thinks it is too soon, then as a couple youve got to decide if that added stress of not both getting your way is gonna be worth it. Ask for his feelings on it and be willing to compromise. do the math, too... 7 months + 9 months = 16 months, means you will have a toddler still in diapers most likely, probably in a stage of fussy eating, teething, and temper tantrums... Be sure you and your SO would be able to handle this while and after you are pregnant! I only say this cuz at the moment, i have a 17 month old and am 6 months pregnant with twins and every day is a backache, a headache, and worrying about where that extra crib is coming from. If you are financially stable, and you AND he are ready... start trying, it may or may not happen right away anyway! But if either one of you is hesitant, you need to wait or it will strain your relationship with each other, and thats never a good way to bring another chid into the world. ♥ best of luck!!

Noel - posted on 05/24/2010

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I have always wanted 3 kids!! My mom had 3 and I love having a brother and sister!! As of now I only have 1 a daughter Kelsea! She is my everything! Sometime I say I never want more I couldnt handle it and then i start thinking how lonely it would be to grow up an only child! I do really want at least more but my husband is not so sure!! Mine is 4 right now im afraid if i dont hurry up it will be too late! But i do want more!!

Miranda - posted on 05/24/2010

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If you and your spouse have a good relationship than I would sit him down and explain where you are at in your wants for more children. I would not get pregnant and then just tell him, that wouldn't be a good idea and would put a wedge in your reltionship. Your spouse may not want to have achild right away, and he may have good reasons for it. You should weigh out the pro's and con's and write them down and come to an agreement on the situation.

I myself am the mother of a 15 month old and am not ready to have another child yet. When I see my family doing stuff together I only see 3 of us, me, my spouse and my child and I don't have a vision of a 4th person in the picture yet. I am not saying no to more children, I am just not ready. I get plenty of joy seeing other's couple's baby's when they come into where I work and right now that is good enough for me. My husband's Grandma tells me that she feels sorry for me, and that it gets easier the more children you have, but I think that depends on the person, and where they are at in there lives, etc.

Good luck in whatever you choose to do in your life and make sure that you and your spouse are in complete agreement before concieving another. :)

Mel - posted on 05/24/2010

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Hello!

I have 2 children. One I just had 7 weeks ago. :) My husband and I both discussed how far apart in age we wanted our children. We agreed 2 years apart would be best! and we stopped at 2. :) Great decision for us. We made sure we discussed all angles on more children,, cost, time...all that stuff. :) Besides, my daughter is potty training so were hoping to not to have to buy so many diapers. Just be honest and straight up!

Angela - posted on 05/24/2010

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Hi ashley, I am hoping to have two possibly three kids, started on the first one this year and its due on October 9th. :) there isn't much more I can suggest since everyone seems to have a good idea about how to give advice to talk to him. I would follow their advice and simply talk to him and work out a buget to make sure that you can afford it and see how things go from there.

Stina - posted on 05/24/2010

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My husband and I have always communicated about how many kids we wanted. Originally he only wanted two... but when I left it up to him to get a vasectomy, a year later, he hadn't done it and when asked about it, he said that he wasn't sure he wanted to stop with two kids. We have three now. A small part of me wants a fourth child. But the rational part of me has more reasons against that than for... so, we're stopping at three.

Cassie - posted on 05/24/2010

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My hubby and I decided to go about things naturally. No birth control or anything like that. Just let nature take it's course. It took us 3 years of trying to get preggers with our first so we figured it might take that long for the second, but we were suprised to find that 11 months after our first was born, I was preggers with #2. Our boys are 19 months apart. We've got two kids in diapers (our 2 year old is potty training), but since I've been using cloth it hasn't cost much more than it would have with just one in disposables.
We're planning on having at least one more... hopefully two more, but we'll see. We're going to continue with the natural method and see where it leads us. I'm hoping our youngest will be a bit past two years old by the time the third arrives. I'd like to have both boys potty trained before another baby comes along.

Kimberly - posted on 05/24/2010

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i've wanted a second baby since my son was 3 weeks old. he was the perfect infant and my heart was busrting with love and all i wanted was to fill my life with more babies haha ... i still want another one now but we are currently house-hunting so maybe once we've put in offer in somewhere it'll happen ♥

Jill - posted on 05/24/2010

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I have a 3 year old son named Hayden and just had my daughter, Caroline, 3 weeks ago. My son adores his little sister and is very good with her! He is old enough to help out and loves to do so. I am very happy that we waited until he was completely potty trained and more independent before we had another child. As for discussing it with my husband, we went back and forth with the decision for a few months. I was ready and he wasn't. So together we talked to our Pastor and decided to put the situation into prayer....the next month I was pregnant :) Obviously another baby is exactly what God had intended for us and we couldn't be happier. Good luck to you with your decision!! :)

Kelly - posted on 05/24/2010

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Well I have a 18 month old son and a 5 month old daughter. They are only 13 months apart, at first I was totally freaked out about it and overwhelmed. Now that she is here it is a lot better than what I imagined it to be. I am glad that they are so close because Odin is not jealous of Phaedra and I think they will be really close. I do want more kids, I want to wait 4 or 5 years and then hopefully have twins, a boy and girl would be perfect! Then I would be done. My advice is just tell your husband that is what you have been feeling and see what he says. I would say either have one now or wait for a year or two.

Jessa - posted on 05/24/2010

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Hello Ashly :) My name is Jessa, I have 4 children all under the age of 5. I have a 5, 4, 3 yr old, and 10 month old. Having my kids so close together can be a challenge some days, but most days I wouldn't change it for the world. There is nothing better than hearing them play games or make believe together, or when my oldest tries to teach the others to read and do "big kid" things. We always knew we wanted at least four children, but were open to having more. So far the only one yearning for another one so soon is me, my husband still worries about providing financially for a large family.

Rachel - posted on 05/24/2010

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I have a 4 month old and my husband and I talk about more kids all the time. At first we wanted to wait like 3 1/2 years before we started trying but the more she grows and the more fun she gets we keep wanting another one closer. Next May we are going to Florida so after that we are gonna start trying again for another. It took me and year to get pregnant with Delilah so she will be around 2 1/2 to 3 before the next one is born (hopefully).

Tanya - posted on 05/24/2010

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My husband and I have discussed this in great detail. It's important that you talk to him about it. It's not a demand. It's a conversation. Tell him what you want and ask what he wants.

I want 3 or 4. So we have been thinking of the same thing. If we want them about 2 years apart, we have to start trying soon. Our son is almost 9 months. Trust your hubby. You have a family together and will need to discuss a lot. You never know, maybe he's thinking the same thing.

Teresa - posted on 05/24/2010

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Hey my names Teresa, i have 2 boys already there 18 months apart and i have my lil girl due in 3 months 16 months apart from my second and i havta say its awesome having them so close cos my oldest two play togeather so well. it is challenging in he first few months tho but well worth it xxx

Jenny - posted on 05/24/2010

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Hi Ashly-
I have a son who is just about 8 months old. My husband and I want 4 all together and he wants them close in age. I am okay with having them close in age but want to wait til he is at least a year to try again...... My husband on the other hand wanted me to get prego again as soon as we could start having sex again lol

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I am in the same situation... My husband wants to have another soon tho so I don't have to worry about freaking him out. BUT I also worry about how I will handle being pregnant and having a baby to take care of. My son is 8 1/2 months now and we are hoping to start trying in July ... I would like to get pregnant in November but if it happens before then thats fine too! Just say something to your husband like I miss the tiny baby stage and see what he says... if he agrees then say maybe we should have another... or mention how you would like to have your children be close in age...

Lexi - posted on 05/24/2010

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I have always wanted two kids. It took me five years of marriage to convince my husband that we should have a kid and in the end it wasn't me that convinced him. On the 6 year anniversary of his fathers death he just said to me "I want to be a dad and love someone the way he loved me and be the kind of dad he was, let's start trying to get you pregnant."



Having more is definitely a two person decision. I would just sit down and express your feelings to him and ask him how he feels about having more kids. It's so important that you show him you care about his input and feelings on the subject. Be prepared that he may not be ready yet. If he says he doesn't want more or doesn't want them yet calmly ask him what his reasons are. Don't get instantly mad and emotional about it because that will create the wall you are worried about.



My husband has been saying since the day Torsten was born that he doesn't want another one. He said he doesn't think we could handle it. I don't want another for a year or so, so I've given him plenty of space with no pressure on the subject. Finally got to the bottom of it when a friend of ours lost their pregnancy. He got all choked up and teary eyed and said "see, that's why I don't want you to get pregnant again. I spent 9 months of terror wondering if you and Torsten would make it thru the pregnancy healthy. I can't do it again. I couldn't handle it if something went wrong and I lost you." I did have a pretty difficult pregnancy and apparently it was a lot harder on him than I realized. I can totally respect that. Yes, I want another eventually, but not at the risk of our marriage. I can wait until Devon is ready. Torsten is 10 months old and recently Devon's been coming up with questions out of the blue like "if we ever had a girl, what would be a good girls name?" so I know that he thinks about it.



When you are thinking about another baby, I think it's also important to consider what shape your relationship is in right now. Having a kid puts so much stress on a couple. Make sure that you and your husband are solid before you jump into that stress times two! Get out for some baby free time if possible and spend at least one night a week ignoring the chores and day to day grind and just enjoy each others company. Do some of that stuff that you haven't done since the "pre-baby" days! Some quality time to relax together will go a long way to helping you feel comfortable talking to him about your feelings on the "next baby" topic. =) Good luck!

Nikki - posted on 05/24/2010

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My husband and I discussed how many we wanted and what intervals we wanted them in before we got pregnant with our first. I think 4-5 years apart is going to work for us but every family is different.

Elizabeth - posted on 05/24/2010

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I have a 10 month old son and I told my boyfriend that right after my son turns 1 I want to start trying again for another. And he is completely on board. He wanted a second one when my son was only 4 months old :) But I would suggest asking your Husband how many kids he wants and when he thinks is a good time to start trying again and see what he says :) Hope he gets on board!!

A - posted on 05/24/2010

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My name is Angelica. My hubby and I discussed how many kids we wanted while still dating (I wanted 6, him 2 s we compromised with 4 pending finances). We have a 4 year old, 2 year old and are expecting # 3. Due to finances we probably won't have that 4th but anythng can change in the next two years. Make sure your finanaces are in order before trying for a second because costs add up quickly, especially if a problem with breast feeding (if that is your plan) forces you to use formula, which is not cheap. Sit down with your SO and discuss eveything with him and go from there.

Jazmin - posted on 05/24/2010

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Hi Ashley,
My husband and I have sat down multiple times about having more children. I want at least one more, and my husband just wants the one. He had his boy so he is happy. However, I think if we just wait a while and baby gets a little older, that he could be more open to the idea of having at least one more child. Definitely don't pressure your so into doing something that he doesnt want to do, but bring the issue up so that way he can have an open mind about the idea and maybe you can come to a compromise to wait a little bit longer before having kids, or maybe he feels the same way.

Ashley - posted on 05/24/2010

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I have two children that are 11 and 1/2 months apart. I always get strange looks from people when I tel them how fa apart they ae. But I don't see their judgements. My girl is 4 and my boy is 3. They are amazing together. She is so caring and motherly and he my main man. The only person you should care about his opinion is your husband. You need to talk to him

Ambrosia - posted on 05/24/2010

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I have a 3 year old son and I would like 1-2 more (it depends on a lot of things but 3 is my limit). Your husband probably already knows about your desire to have kids close in age...right? Let him know what you're thinking and remember a big part of a relationship is mutual compromise...

Janice - posted on 05/24/2010

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I definately want more kids. I have a 20 month old and I want at least 2 more. I'm waiting for him to turn 2 and will probably start trying again, i want them to grow up close in age as well. My husband wants more kids without a doubt, if it was up to him I would have already had number 2. So I wouldn't have a problem when that time comes. But talk it over with him first before you decide to skip the birth control and then throw that surprise at him.

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I want to have at most four .. but I will be fine with just the one I have ... I absolutely hated being pregnant!! but I love being a mom, My SO wants another kid, but not for atleast a year. I wish he could be pregnant for 9 months, I don't mind anything else. lol... I think when the time came to ask him if we could try again, we would prolly attempt to plan it this time lol

Carly - posted on 05/24/2010

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I am exactly the same! So I am guessing you gave birth around Oct last year? My son was born 14 Oct 2009 & I am dying for another child. I have spoke about it to my partner & he also wants another baby but wants to wait just a few months! It's killing me, especially when I know so many women who have had so much trouble catching with there second child. I know everyone's different and I may or may not catch with my second straight away but I seriously can't wait. I loved the pregnancy, the labour & I love every minute of being a Mummy to my handsome wonderful son so I can't wait to have another son or if I am lucky a daughter! :D x

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