Does anyone else feel rejected???

Sandy - posted on 09/26/2009 ( 7 moms have responded )

40

14

7

We have recently got a house mate and when my partner and I want to do family things but doesnt want to be rude so he asks the housemate if he wants to come too. Should I feel rejected or am I over reacting???

7 Comments

View replies by

Tiffany - posted on 09/27/2009

20

15

1

i think its nice that he wants to be nice but you guys (you and hubby) need your alone time also if not its gonna cause trouble with you and the housemate, i wouldn't say you are over reacting i would just say that you are used to things a sertin way and that how you like it good luck and don't let it get you done!

[deleted account]

my hubby's best friend converted our garage into a little studio apartment and he pays 1/3 of our rent. this helps both of us as it's cheaper for him than a normal apartment and it really helps with our rent. i make enough dinner for all of us and, if he's not home for dinner time, I leave his either in the microwave or in the fridge. He's invited when we host parties or go to parties for the kids (he's "Uncle Alex" to our girs), but when we do family stuff it is just us. We don't feel bad. Even though he is my hubby's best friend, he knows we like to do stuff with our family.



I would say don't worry about the housemate. He knew he was moving into a house with a family and he should know that you need your family time. It's hard living in a house with another adult who has no responsibilities and no ties, but I think the best thing to do is keep the housemate as seperate as possible. You have your family and he is not a member of it - so why should he be invited out with the family?

Anna - posted on 09/27/2009

1

14

0

i would say you are neither. Dont worry about the hosue mate. they know what they were getting into when they moved in. we have had a few people come and go the last few months and we still just all do our own thing. they should understand.

Hailey - posted on 09/27/2009

142

5

15

maybe a bit of both , tell your husband that sometimes you would like to spend time just as a family , also let him know its ok to invite your house mate too just not all the time, blokes dont always see the other side to things like that lol

Chantel - posted on 09/26/2009

68

15

15

I think that it's okay to be nice but the you and your hubby need time alone and to spend time with your family. I think after a while the house mate will start to feel like a third wheel. If it bothers you speak to your husband besides you 2 are in this thing together and you shouldn't have to feel like a hostess all the time or uncomfortable around your family or about family time.

Caty - posted on 09/26/2009

39

50

1

hmmm maybe both.. i would probably feel same way maybe but probably feel alittle more put out than rejected .. the housemate is just that. a housemate.. you and your partner should not feel guilty about going out and doing family things without that person. that person is not a part of your family ... i think maybe talking to your partner and coming to an understanding that it is more than ok to go out and do things without the housemate is ok and that it bothers you that you guys feel you have to invite him everytime you go out.. if your partner doesnt agree try compromising and invite the housemate only occationally or half the time you guys go out.. good luck

[deleted account]

It sounds like your partner is just being nice. If you want to do things with just your family then let your partner know how you feel.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms