Does anyone else find it hard to look after themselves after having a baby?

Jay - posted on 01/19/2010 ( 30 moms have responded )

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Im a new mum who before having my baby, was quite trendy and always looked my best, eg, nice hair & make-up.

These days I dont have time to do any of this and tend to wear clothes for comfort now & i'm lucky if I get chance to wash my hair once a week!

I dont really mind because my baby boy is all that matters now but i'm fed up of people telling me I look knackered all the time!

Does anyone else have this problem and if so, how do I solve it?

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[deleted account]

rofl - in other words you look like a mum with a small baby? I know few people who didnt have that "new mum" look! If you are worried about it then try and find time when bubba is having a morning sleep to have a shower and pamper yourself a little if you feel it would make you happier - personally I took that opportunity to do things like housework or watch tv with a cuppa when she was younger as that reduced my stress more than a facial or makeup ever could...but thats just me.

There is only a problem if you feel it is a problem - dont let others impose problems on you just do whatever it takes to get through those first 3-6 months and once baby starts getting a bit more self-sufficient you can start worrying about trying to get more things done :)

Jessica - posted on 01/21/2010

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I understand. I'm in the same kind of situation. The easiest thing to do is get yourself into a schedule that you do everyday. For example, I get up around 8am with my 15 month old, I change him, get his breakfast ready, and feed him. When he's done, I clean him up and let him play for a while. Then around 11:30 I give him a small lunch, then put him down for a nap. When he wakes up I give him some juice and a small snack, if he needs it and he plays some more. The around 5 I give him dinner, and he plays a little more. Then at around 7pm he gets his bath and he goes to sleep around 8....That's my typical daily schedule.......I do that more or less every day and now he knows what's going to happen when and I know what's going to happen when and everything, more or less gets done. I take my shower when my husband gets up in the morning or when my son takes his nap, whichever is easiest for everyone...It's hard to get your own schedule down, but once you do it's so much easier. :) Hope that helps...

Charlotte - posted on 01/20/2010

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i find it really hard to make an effort with my appearance x i have a 2yr old and a 2month old x it hard to find the spare tym to do nefing let alone do ma hair n make-up x but on the other hand wen i do manage to find the tym i jus real really unattractive n horrible so i jus end up in a state n get the ump lol!! its not the end of the world tho x my daughter n son r evrything to me n as long as they r happy n well then thats all that matters x one day i'll get sum tym to maself n will hopefully feel better about maself x x x

Stephanie - posted on 01/19/2010

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i seem to be the only person who still finds the time to be my old self. the only time im in sweats and shirts is at home or when i first wake up. Every day that i have to leave the house i set up a schedule the night before. i give myself plenty of time to wake up if i leave first thing in the morning, or while the kids are napping if i dont leave until later in the afternoon. so theres time to do my hair and make up and i always just feel better about myself in nice clothes so i take the time to go shopping when i am able to get my mom to watch them.just take your night to make a schedule so your not feeling rushed and you can still be "beautiful" but dont do it because other people have a problem with it. Do it because it makes you feel nice, but dont forget to still take time to your self to be laid back at home .. maybe a weeknd thing!

Kara - posted on 01/19/2010

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I hear you, but once you can get into a routine things should slow down and you should find more time for yourself to take a shower. Let it dry and then fix it. Since having my son, I also wear clothes more for comfort. Don't let other people get you down about this. They dont know or have a clue as to what its like to be you! Good luck

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Amber - posted on 10/20/2012

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Hie Jay, we are sailing in the same boat, having 10 weeks old baby. She is too found of me, infant I have to think how to go to washroom leaving her behind, coz the moment I put her on cot she starte crying. The only time I got for myself when she falls sleep, at that time I try to complete all my pending jobs. I will suggest you the same. When your baby is little calm or falls into sleep then u can look for othe things. As of now I believeyour priority is your baby. And over a period of time, you will find your baby is busy in herself andyou can devote your time to yourself it's just a matter a few months., meanwhile you can opt for the styles which you can wear quick and give comfort for you in that way you can also add variations in your styles keeping in kind your motherly duties.

Alleah - posted on 01/23/2010

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lol, when Anna wasn't mobile, I did the same thing! I always felt a little guilty, snapping her into her bouncer and hopping into the shower, as if I was a bad parent for keeping myself clean, but usually she just babbled away to me, or just fell asleep! She still sneaks into the bathroom if I don't shut the door all the way to peek past the curtain and talk to me while I'm showering!

Filomena - posted on 01/23/2010

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Im a first time mother as well, and going through the same thing. My mother keeps telling me to wear different clothes or tells me to get out of the pjs that i wear all day lol looking your best is just not a priority anymore just shifted, to me its not much of a sacrifice keeping the house clean as well as looking after a child is hard work! :)

[deleted account]

Welcome to motherhood, lady! It's what we do. Some people say it's a thankless job (fortunately not in my case), but someone's got to do it....bad hair day or not!

Rachel - posted on 01/22/2010

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I really have had a hard time making an effort to keep myself looking nice. Make-up is definately out of the question, but I didn't wear it much anyway. I feel that you have to make the time to take a shower, or do something for yourself, or else you may go crazy! Clothes for comfort is the best thing, who cares what anyone else says!

Tuere - posted on 01/22/2010

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What I can say ... is that the extra effort put in will come back to thank you.. My son is 11 months ... and even today when I leave the house I try to take 10 mins to do my hair, make-up, look nice.. etc no I 'm no Beyonce' but I try my best to keep myself up ... because I am single I think it's also important because it helps with self esteem....

Casandra - posted on 01/22/2010

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OMG! Yes I was just thinking about that today my Daughter is 2 and half months old and I realized I am slacking on Taking care of my self. LoL!

Nicola - posted on 01/22/2010

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it gets easier, unfortunatly its a case of learning how to juggle, i used to be the same, hardly got chance to get dressed most days let alone co-ordinate my clothes, i now know my lil girl sleeps in till 8.30, so i get up about an hour before to get washed dressed and ready, so when shes up were ready to do anything without rushing but it took me up to nearly 15weeks to get her in that routine.

Stephanie - posted on 01/22/2010

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you;ll get into a routine again no worries. Being a yummy mummy isnt all its cracked up to be.. its more creepy than anything.lol

Kerry - posted on 01/21/2010

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I had the same problem for about 6 weeks after i had my son but i started feeling like a bum so i made a plan... every morning when i got up i would nurse my son then when he was done i would put him in his little rocker chair and bring him in the bathroom with me while i had a shower and usually the sound of the water and the warmth of the bathroom would put him to sleep which ended up givin me a little bit more time to sometimes put on make up and get a lil done up..... but definately make a little time for yourself everyday it makes a huge difference in how you feel and the way you will go about your daily business and also that way if someone decides to pop by for a surprise visit you look half decent... and hey if not than have them cuddle the baby while you grab a little you time lol

[deleted account]

I never had the time when I was single. LOL. I just made it then. I have a three year old and my bf's daughter who is 4 months younger than mine and it does get hard after doing two little girls hair to want to do your own. When she was a baby it was easy. Charli slept 18 hours a day and was just an overall awesome baby. I would have ten more if they would be as wonderful as she was. Now, I just don't care to. I don't even wear make up anymore, but the man prefers it that way.

[deleted account]

Use nap time for baby as freshen time for you. Shower, do your make up, put your jeans on and a cute top, and heck...if you have a little extra time paint your toe nails too:) Or if your baby isn't an extreme early bird and only wakes up at 7 or 8, maybe wake up an hour earlier and get yourself ready before you baby's day begins!
(And about those people who tell you your always looking "knackered". I'm assuming they are mostly people who haven't had the pleasure of being a parent and you can return the sweet comments when it's their turn - haha!)

Margaret - posted on 01/21/2010

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The gym I go to has a daycare. If it weren't for that I wouldn't have a chance to shower alone, unless during naps, and I dunno about you but I like to nap when my son naps! ;) If I don't go to the gym I usually don't get a chance to shower and put on make-up so some days I look put together, other days I'm a wreck. But honestly, its all about what makes you feel good. I know I feel better when I've burned some calories, cleaned up and gotten dressed. But that is just me!

[deleted account]

Looking good doesn't have to take a lot of time. I shower when my son naps and I cut my hair short when he was born so that it didn't take forever to dry and style. I think I look nice without makeup but sometimes I'll throw on a little. You don't have to cake it on to look put together. As far as clothes go, I feel that I'm pretty stylish. In fact, I would go as far as to say that most days I feel like a pretty "hot mom" haha. Comfy clothes can look good too. I just recently bought a pair of black denim leggings. They're so comfy and they can be dressed up or look casual.
I know that some moms just kind of give up. But for me, it's not really an option. Getting showered and dressed and looking half decent makes me feel really good. And you know what they say, "happy mom, happy baby."

Krystal - posted on 01/21/2010

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well to be honest with you i have 4 kids ages 5, 4, 2 and 3 weeks and i am breastfeeding for the first time having said that it is always hectic in my house i get up at the but crack of dawn everyday to breastfeed my 3week old get my 5yr old up dressed feed and out the door for school when i get back i clean and feed the other 2 but while there eating i take a few min for myself and do my hair get dressed and sometimes a lil makeup you just have to find that few seconds in the day but it can be done.

Ashley - posted on 01/20/2010

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cant say as i do. i have two kids. one is 6 months the other 21 months. i shower everyday. do my hair and makeup everyday and wash my hair every 2nd day. i go to school and the apt is kept clean. put the baby in his bouncy chair or crib and take a shower. ipersonally dont find it that hard to keep myself looking somewhat decent but maybe thats just me

Cheron - posted on 01/20/2010

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i was kinda having that problem cause i was use to looking good all the time always wearing heels kept my hair done but after i had my son i just felt unattractive i would neglect my friends and stay in the house my boyfriend who is my best friend and my cousin janay who also is my best friend really help me alot and thru them they hlp me get thru my dwn twn and telling me i need to get out and do stuff ...long story short my body is back to how it was (still working on my tummy but its lookin nice) im feeling more confident ive been looking nice again im jus a very happy person like i was b4 if ur friends and family wanna help let them noone wants to see there love one dwn

Jay - posted on 01/20/2010

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thanks for all the comments girls, he's only 11 weeks old and rarely sleeps during the day, hence the reason i dont get time to do anything, lol! Im glad im not the only one with this problem and hopefully like you all say, i will eventually get back into the groove of things. I just feel so scruffy, lazing around in my pj's all day because I know im not going anywhere. My partner leaves for work at 8am every morning so i cant get him to watch our son while i do my hair etc, its so hard and sometimes i just cant be bothered but i feel so ugly and thought i'd be such a 'yummy mummy' lol xxx

Tracy - posted on 01/19/2010

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I am a mom of 3 7,5, amd 5 mos... I have trouble looking nice all the time I loved my long hair but it was a hassle to take care of all the time so I cut it! Its rough lol but its all worth it all you have to do is find you groove and do what u gotta do

Mary - posted on 01/19/2010

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Well i had that problem but it is very fixable. When he is sleeping slip into the shower or do your make up. When he gets older have a talk with him about mommy's time. Or if you are in the bathroom doing your hair or what have you put him in the bath and let him play.

Rebecca - posted on 01/19/2010

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I am the same way, especially with 2 little ones!! I put my 4 month old in a chair in the bathroom with me to shower. I find it easier and then I can talk to him if he gets upset. As to what people say, I ignore it cause most don't understand. I take it with a grain of salt. As long as I get out once a month in something nice then I am happy. My husband takes the kids when we need to go out so I can get ready without the distraction. I find that helps!!

Amy - posted on 01/19/2010

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Yes. I completely understand where you are coming from! I barely get to brush my teeth, let alone wash my hair. I take a bath with my little one every night, but after she is done, her daddy getrs her out and I barely can wash my body before she's ready for her nightly nursing and bed. So when my hunny wants to go to dinner and my hair is a wreck, I don't really feel up to it, but we now have an agreement. I pump out occasionally and she'll nurse with a bottle on his days off so I can take a nice LONG shower. Also, have someone come over and watch the little one while you tend to yourself. It's never wrong to get a little me time.

Laura - posted on 01/19/2010

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u dont say how old,ur son is, it gets worse as they get older because they need more attention, my son is 2 n 1/2, and most of the time i just couldnt be arsed, with all the running about n cleaning i didnt seem 2 get time 4 a bit of pampering or make up, so i had enough and on a morning i will let daddy watch him 4 1hr so i can take a shower n do my hair and face lol. it makes u feel alot better during the day, that u dont look a mess and it puts u in a gud mood xx

Billie - posted on 01/19/2010

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i am the same way but i tell them i like the way i look and i could care less i am a mother of three 6,3,and 5 months so i never get time always on my toes and breastfeeding on top of all other things i replie simply i llok the way i want no need to run in a beauty contest

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