Does my husband need to change too?

Hendrika - posted on 06/17/2009 ( 1 mom has responded )




I feel like since I've been married and we've had kids there a lot of changes I've had to make. My husband on the other hand, I feel like he still lives the bachelors life and up till now I've had the mentality of "you do what you need to do and I'll take care of the kids" He does help if I ask with the boys and house work, he really is a great dad and husband, I just feel like he hasn't had to make the same kinds of changes I have since we've had kids. So now I'm pregnant with #3. Hormonal out of my mind and I feel like he just doesn't get how much I do and how much he doesn't do. Now, when I bring this up to him he gets defensive cause he feels like I think he does nothing. So how do I bring this up to him and tell him how I feel with out pissing him off?


Rachel - posted on 06/18/2009




oh honey i know the feeling!!!! LOL. This is something i am going through with my hubby and let me tell you i had a lot of trouble getting him to see that he does'nt do as much as i do. I work part-time as a social worker as well as the dishes, washing, ironing, food shopping, cooking and well the list goes on, and all he does is work then come home sit on his but in front of the computer/tv and that's were he stays unles i ask him to do something. However he is getting better but thats only cause i put his dirty cups and clothes and everything else of his that was dirty in a pile on his side of the room and left it there (it was very hard for me as i am ocd) until he cleaned it up. He asked y i did it and i said to him well i could'nt get you to understand where i was coming from so i thought i would show you how much i actualy do around here and if it was'nt for me you would'nt have clean clothes and dishes and so on because i do all of that while your sitting on your but so i figured that you could start doing your own washing and things to help me out a little bit and so to cut a long story short he will now come home and do a couple of loads of washing or he'll do some ironing and the other night he used the vaccum for the first time in his life.............well i almost fell over lol. I feel that if both parents work then they should share all the household chores. I think what my problem may have been was that when i was'nt working i just did it all without complaining and then when i started work i felt that he needed to help out more with that stuff and he did'nt think he should have to cause he worked full-time and i was only working part-time so i still had more time then he did to do it. But thank god were finaly getting there and he is still not doing as much as i do but i'm happy that he's actually helping me with the kids and the household chores. Good luck with it all.

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