Cara - posted on 02/15/2010 ( 4 moms have responded )




Well, after a huge fight with Brian, we basically weren't talking to each other for most of last week. I wrote him a long letter ( because he is impossible to talk to. ) explaining why I am upset & what i need from him. He didn't reply or really say anything regarding the letter, but he did play with my son & nephew for about ten mins. while i was getting ready to go to a family party. I told him i was really stressed & to please watch the babies while they play, and he actually did!! & last night our son was having trouble falling asleep, & i was in the shower & when Brian came to tell me the baby was crying, i said, I know, you can rock him to sleep if you want.. & he actually did! & he got my son to sleep! I Have taken everyone's advice & looked him in the eye & was clear on what i needed, i threatened to leave in the letter i wrote & i hope Brian keeps this up, because it feels good that he is doing something for my son, which is also doing something for me.

Thank you soo much everyone for the advice. It feels good that other moms are also in this situation, but it is sad that we are. People need to talk about it more, relationships are not easy while you are raising children, but if us moms stick together, than maybe we can help eachother get through it when our men aren't doing their part.


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Nicole - posted on 02/16/2010




My husband was kinda like that too. I stopped working and stayed home with the baby for 4 months. He would change an occasional diaper and feed once in a while but I would get upset with him saying I needed 15 minutes to shower or just a breather. He actually apologized to me sarcastically saying he was sorry he had a job and was working all day!!! Since then, he lost his job, I went back to work and him becoming Mr. Mom I think has opened his eyes dramatically that it's more work then it seems especially now that my daughter is 9 months and very mobile and gets into everything! Congrats on making things work in your world.

Andrea - posted on 02/16/2010




I've been folllowing your post because I've been having the same problem with my husband. I've even posted a similar question on working moms. I also tried the letter thing and he ripped it up! I think men can be really dence and lost when it comes to raising a child. So after the letter I basically I gave him a sit down talk with an ultimatium, help out or we are leaving! I've also learned to be very straight forward. I say "I need your help please insert commard here". So far I can tell he is making an effort but I do wonder how long it will be until he slips back into his old ways. I don't know what to tell you to do, when I don't know what to do either, but I am with you :)

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