Drunk or Divorced?

C - posted on 12/14/2013 ( 2 moms have responded )

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My husband has been struggling with alcohol abuse nearly his entire adult life. I didn't realize how bad it was until after our daughter was in school and was missing school because daddy couldn't wake up. I am the one that works and recently the one that does it all and I am growing more and more concerned. He has been in the ICU 3 times with alcohol related diseases and has been in and out of rehabs for the past year. I know that this is a process and I said till death do us part but I have 3 children that are experiencing this as well. When he is up (even when drunk) he is a great fun dad. He plays with them and talks with them, cuddles, and builds things with them but there are days where he is down and the kids won't make it to school, the house will be a mess, he will hide in the bedroom and the kids are left pretty much alone unless I foresee it and call in from work or until I get home from work. I can't afford to lose my job but I also can't have my kids live like this. When is enough? Is it better for them to deal with the swings while my husband works on getting better or is it time to walk away? I don't know if I can explain to my kids why I am leaving him when the entire time I have been defending him stating that its a sickness and not his fault.

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Michelle - posted on 12/14/2013

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I agree with Ashley. You need to get your children out of the horrible situation. I'm not saying you have to divorce him straight away but if he doesn't get help then he will lose his family.
Your children don't need to see that side of people. You don't want your children to think it's "normal" at all.
You can still explain it to the kids that it's a sickness and that until he gets the help he needs you can't live with him. Just because it's a sickness doesn't make it right, he needs help and he's the only one that can make the decision to get help. You taking the children may be the push he needs to stick to treatment.

Ashley - posted on 12/14/2013

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I think its time to walk away your kids deserve better and to not see that even if its not everyday .

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