egg donation

Sarah - posted on 03/01/2012 ( 30 moms have responded )

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hi im just interested in peoples opions on egg donation it must be lovely to help someone have a child but how would you feel knowing that a child is out there that is biologically yours and now has the right to contact you if they wish when there 18 will that put people off donating ?

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Niki - posted on 03/07/2012

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Sarah,



I have personally done 4 egg donations and I tell you what, I couldn't be happier with my decision to do so.



After having my first live child ( I lost a son when I was 5 1/2mos pregnant, he was a stillbirth ) I couldn't imagine never being able to have a child of my own. I remember going to my OB in CA and listening to some Women who were desperately trying ( or who had been trying for years ) to concieve a child and thinking "Oh my goodness, how could I help?".



The feeling of that little miracle growing inside you is amazing, unlike anything that I can describe. So, the thought of never knowing that feeling crushed me inside. So I started doing research and began looking into donations and reading peoples stories, thats when I felt obligated to help someone out and do something. I did not in fact get "paid" to do these donations, instead I opted to have my "payments" for donations go to a fund to help other people out who were unable to pay for this expensive procedure, that was an extra added bonus for me wanting to do these donations.



Before doing the donations you do have to go through a psych eval. They ask you questions but most importantly they want to get to know you, to make sure that your profile is really who you say you are. Then once you have passed that evaluation you are now free to evaluate the prospective parents of your donated eggs. You do not actually meet these people but you do get to read their bios and watch a few videos of the prospective parents as well.



The process of the donations is tedious and takes about 6 weeks of injections in your lower abdomen and weekly apts. The retreval process is pretty quick and recovery time is minimal. You feel a little bloating & cramping afterwards but otherwise you just feel tired from the anesthesia.



I was able to do 4 egg retrevals/donations. Each and every family I donated to were completely successful! I did receive a photo of each child ( 3 out of the 4 donations were multiples ) it was amazing to see the happiness I was able to bring into these, now Families, lives by my donation.



As far as an emotional attachment, I went into these donations knowing that these eggs were of my own but that they were going to be growing in another womans whomb therefore making them their child/ren. I just wanted to help others achieve what I had already done, give birth to a child that they carried inside their whomb ( or through a surrogate HOWEVER none of the recipients I donated to used a surrogate ). The part about the Child/ren being able to contact me when they reached the age of 18 is something that I am open to, however, I did leave that decision in the hands of THEIR parents. If their parents were ok with them reaching out to me ( as a donor & not their parent ) I am fine with that.



On another note, I know some people might think "Why donate to these people when there are soo many children waiting to be adopted in this world?". I can completely understand that, I feel the same way. That is why I made it apparent that I did not want to donate to a couple who wanted to use a "surrogate". Because I feel that those people who don't want to have a child themselves should in fact adopt. And the couples who want to experience everything about parenthood beginning with pregnancy should be the ones to recieve the donated eggs.( Just to get things out there, you don't "blindly" donate. Couples actually choose the donor by going through the profiles of those of us who are donors. We as donors then decide weather or not we want to donate to them based upon their bios ect. )



I think I have written you all a novel but I hope my information helps! My opinion is if you want to do it make sure you do it for all of the "right" reasons. Hopefully I haven't offended anyone but if I have I sincerely apologize, it was never my intention. My intentions are only to share my experiences.



Ok thanks for reading!

Allison - posted on 03/04/2012

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I have been and currently still donate eggs. The thought of giving someone a chance to experience motherhood and fatherhood is a great one.being a donor you must take and pass a series of heath and psychological exams. the process is a long process for both donor and recipient( whom is confidential) my mom asked me why I could donate eggs but not be a surrogate, once. In my own opinion giving someone something like an egg to help them to start a family of their own is exactly that. It would be more emotional for me to carry and give birth to a baby with no DNA trace to me what so ever bc the emotional bond I believe is

stronger than the genetic bond.

Lori - posted on 03/03/2012

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I heard on the radio yesterday about a place near me that does egg donation. I thought about it and thought that it would be a wonderful thing to do to help out a couple that is unable to have children of their own for what ever reason. I am unable to do so though since I am currently pregnant and will be out of the required age range after the baby is born.



The reason I would consider doing this is because two of my cousins (they are sisters) were unable to conceive on their own for some reason. One went through IVF and got twin boys that turned 8 yesterday. The other ended up adopting a little boy that will be 3 this year. The children they have are blessings. If something like egg donation could of helped them to be able to have more children of their own I would be glad to help out. I would definitely appreciate someone if they had donating eggs to help them have a family of their own.

Julie - posted on 03/06/2012

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saying someone who can't have their own kids should just except that can't have a baby really isn't fair. That's like saying all those abused children were meant to be abused after they were born. While many couples are up to the challenge of parenthood even child protective services workers will tell you the average person is not up to taking on an abused foster child. They shouldn't have to miss out on being parents of a nerwborn baby just because they had a bad car accident or were born with a disease that makes them infertile. Two of my best friend had to undergo fertility treaments to have a baby as well as the couple i'm carrying for let alone all the infertile couples I have met in the fertility treatment I go to.

obviously potential egg donors who would struggle with that should not donate and probably wouldn't be permitted to because you have to undergo extensive psychological evaluations to be a donor or a surrogate. I would not be well suited to be a donor because those questions would cross my mine, but seeing my friends struggle led me to becoming a surrogate. The end will be sad to say goodbye of course, but my family is complete and I find a little extra security in that the child is not related to my children.

Julie - posted on 03/06/2012

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I feel taht if someone was meant to have children it would work out...



Do you REALLY want someone out there having a child that looks like you or your family?



Would it be worth all those years wondering?



SO MANY children who've been abused, etc., are crying for a loving family - right? ♥

30 Comments

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Still Have - posted on 10/06/2014

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Hi. I know this post is from 2012. Just wondering if you did donate your eggs. I am looking for an egg donor that's why I am asking. Thanks

Still Have - posted on 10/06/2014

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Niki what you did is wonderful. ..so glad there is people like you. Me and my hubby are in the process of searching for an egg donor. I never thought in my life that was going to be the way we were going to have a baby, i was so devastated but now i can have hope through someone else's eggs.

Misty - posted on 03/07/2012

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I would love to do it,and as long as the people bringing the child up are happy for the child to look for me I would be okay with it. xx

Ashley - posted on 03/07/2012

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I don't know.... I was told I shouldn't be able to have children and tried many a year with the wrong fellas(Whom ALL got other women pregnant while with me) and then I met my husband, we tried and married and kept trying until the day God saw fit for our family to grow and we were blessed with an angel and another right after/// Bottom Line -I was scared to bring children in this evil world and I don't think I could live with not knowing who is protecting and loving a lil mini me... and if someone wasn't guiding her under Gods love, and where her soul may end up oh yea I don't think I could live my life caring for my child I can't protect from this cruel place.-personal opinion but I feel we are only here to get there ;oP

Nicole - posted on 03/06/2012

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I have been thinking about donating my eggs. I have yet to do any research but I have friend who used an egg donor to achieve her dream of being a mom! As much as I would love to be a surrogate I couldn't. I have very healthy children, but terrible aweful, sIck pregnancies.

This is a chance to fulfill a dream for someone. Of my duster or sister in law asked I would totally do it, no questions asked. I guess to me it's a chance to give someone the most amazing feeling in the world!

Julie - posted on 03/06/2012

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egg donation on average pays between 8-10 thousand dollars. It involves a lot of injections that you or someone else would give you at home and at retrieval they would hope to get somewhere between 12-30 eggs.

Julie - posted on 03/05/2012

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Well, although I don't know much about egg donation. I do know a little bit about the receiving end. I'm currently pregnant with a baby for another couple, but they used an egg donor because the mother went through early menopause. I got the chance to speak to the egg donor by phone and she seemed really happy about her decision in helping the couple we are helping have a child. She has no children of her own yet so it has crossed my mind about how she may feel in another 10 yrs from now when she has perhaps started a family of her own. Myself, I couldn't never donate my eggs because it would be too strange for me to know my children have 1/2 siblings out in the world. On the other hand the egg donor told me she could never imagine doing what I'm doing by carrying a baby for 9 months and then parting with it forever. For me, although it will be a sad time, I'm done having my own children and between not wanting another baby and finding peace in that the baby is not biologically my own makes it easier. Egg donors do disclose their family history so the parents go into it knowing about as much as anyone about what possible health risks having a baby from a particular egg donor has. Privacy is up to the egg donor. If they want the donation to be private, I'm fairly sure a privacy clause can be put in the contract so that there is no legal risk of the child looking for them as adults. Obviously I know the future parents much better then the egg donor, the donor doesn't know the last names or even state of residence of the couple I am carrying for. If you are interested in egg donation I do think it is a wonderful blessing to give another couple who wants a baby, but if the biological connection is too much you could always look into the other end of it and look into becoming a gestational surrogate for a couple that cannot carry their own baby.

Ashley - posted on 03/04/2012

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I havent read any other posts but regardles if it puts people off donating its the childs right to know whom they came from, medical info and any other questions they have, if donnors are unwilling to do this they should not be donners, i also think they should have to be willing to help if a medical emergancy happpens and said child needs info. It is not fair that these children grow up have there own children and have no idea what there medical history is.

Lynn - posted on 03/04/2012

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@Betty - what an amazing sister you are! I hope everything works out for your sister and her family. I hope you can give her that incredible gift. The world needs more loving, giving people like you!

Betty - posted on 03/04/2012

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My sister had cervical cancer when she was 27 and will never be able to have kids. although she got to keep her ovaries or eggs are not viable. i have offered to donate eggs or my womb as a surrogate for her. now she just has to let me know which. when.

DeAquanita - posted on 03/03/2012

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Personally I would donate if I could. If you have never been in a situation where you have struggled to get pregnant then you would probably be against it. I myself have struggled to get pregnant and I still am. I joined this group for support, ideas, and considering I have raised several kids not mine. I have been through 2 unsuccessful IUI's. Its hard to go through it again and be let down. There are so many couples that want kids and struggle each day. Some don't have the money to continue fertility procedures because it is very expensive and not guaranteed. You tell yourself to believe in God and keep the faith but its so hard when you love kids dearly. I was the type as a child, you never saw me unless I had someone's child with me and I cant stand when someone hurts a child. I haven't given up, I am just spending time getting my body as healthy as I can and trusting in God. It's also hard because men give up quicker than women do and also don't want to see their woman go through the heartache of disappointment. So personally if I could donate I would.

Stephanie - posted on 03/03/2012

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it has to be one of the most wonderful & selfless things to do in life. Giving a couple who cant have children the opportunity to fulfil their dream. however i do think its something that as the egg doner, you have to be psychologically & emotional strong enough to make a decision.. it cant be just for the money..Being able to know that you will be ok to mentally & physically & emotionally detach yourself from the baby that is 1/2 biologically yours. I know there are many women out there that are able to do this & admire them greatly..I on the other hand have thought about it but couldnt not bring myself to donate.I cant get my head around the thought of my girls technically having a 1/2 brother or sister & my child (which i know wouldnt technically be my child) living in the big wide world. Its selfish of me to think this way (i think), but i know i couldnt do it. big admiration to the ladies who can, helping those who long to be mummys themselves :)

Bernadette - posted on 03/02/2012

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yes, surrogacy I think I could do as long as it wasn't my egg. I am pretty sure I wouldn't have feelings of emotional attachment and want to keep the baby as I'd know it wasn't mine - I would just be 'looking after' it. That said, I could only do it for someone I really cared about because nine months is a long time, pregnancy wasn't something I enjoyed (bad morning sickness, sore back, plus separation of the abdominal muscles after my second, meaning I don't have much support throughout the abdominal area and it may cause problems for me later in life, not to mention pregnancy more difficult in terms of back pain, muscular support of the growing baby, etc) and I have also had two c-sections which means c-sections for any future babies I have. I would have to really care for the person to put myself through that. But if it was my sister, who does have endometriosis and may or may not have trouble getting pregnant (she is still single, so hasn't tried and doesn't know if it will affect her chances yet) then I would consider it if all her other options had failed.

Amparo - posted on 03/02/2012

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I don't think I could donate my eggs. I am very attached to my children and would probably consider a child from my egg(s) to be part of me. I would and have been considering surrogacy. My cousin has been a surrogate and is currently pregnant with her second surrogacy baby. I would love to be able to give a child to a couple that has been trying so hard to have a baby, but can't on their own. As long as its not my egg of course. But just carrying and delivering the baby, I can see myself doing that. But not everyone is the same.

Bernadette - posted on 03/02/2012

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I couldn't do it, full stop. I feel awful for people who are unable to have children, especially as I'm bless enough to have two so far, and I'm planning on having more. But I couldn't get past the fact that there would be a child out there that would be mine, biologically. It would be the half-sibling of my children, and they'd never know him/her and vice versa. It would be the cousin of my sisters' kids, and would never know them. It would be the granchild of my parents, etc etc. I just couldn't do it. I couldn't handle my husband donating sperm either, but fortunately we are on the same page on that topic! We have a friend who does it, and he doesn't want children of his own so I guess that's a bit different. But for me, personally (if I wasn't already married!) I think it would put me off knowing that a person I was getting involved with had biological children out there that he never saw. It would mean that they would be the siblings of any children I may have with that person. Not to mention that this friend knows for certain that he has fathered two children. I'm pretty sure that both children were to two different families, which means that they both have a half sibling out there that they don't know about. I think that he feels a bit weird about it now too because, even though he doesn't want children himself, knowing that he definitely has two out there has blown his mind a little. The only information that they give you (here in Australia anyway) is the number of children, their ages and sex. So naturally, he wonders about them.



It would just be too much for me to handle.....

Tammy - posted on 03/02/2012

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Most "western" countries have laws against selling body parts and fluids, including the UK. It's just a matter of how you word it; a kind of a legal loophole. You get money for your efforts (or expenses) at "extracting" the fluids or body parts, not for the actual parts.

[deleted account]

It may be illegal where your from. I know plenty of people who give blood and plasma for a profit. Laws very from country to country.

Tammy - posted on 03/02/2012

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If you make the decision to donate eggs, you have to separate yourself completely from it, like donating blood. If you feel any kind of connection, then don't do it.

As far as the child trying to find you after 18 years, the chances are slim. Most couples that use a donated egg, see the child as their own, since the woman carried the baby for nine months, thus the child will never know, plus records about it would be very difficult to get.

BTW, it's illegal to sell eggs, or any other body part or fluid, that's why it's called a donation. The lawyers word it in a certain way, that it comes out that you are receiving money for your "efforts", rather than for the actual eggs.

Lynn - posted on 03/02/2012

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I love the idea of helping a childless couple have a baby. I have kind of kicked around the idea of donating my eggs, but I just wasn't sure how to go about doing something like that. I just wasn't sure how I would feel if I was ever contacted later, either.



For that reason, even though I love the idea of being a surrogate, I just couldn't do it. I had two very easy pregnancies, but I just can't imagine explaining to my kids, friends and family that the baby I was carrying wasn't mine. If I had a childless friend or relative, I would want to help, and could probably do it for someone I knew.

Sarah - posted on 03/02/2012

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its nice thats there are people out there that would do it i couldnt do it because i would class the child as mine because biologically it would be which would be hard for me. I didnt know you can get paid for it which in my opinion is wrong because people would do it for the wrong reasons then could later regret it

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I think its a wonderful idea. I actually attempted to sell my eggs before. I had spinabifida though which is a birth defect. Its an extremely minor case but its genetic so i couldn't.

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see, i have a double standard on that...i would be fine with donating my eggs if i could. after July i won't be able to have anymore kids, so my eggs will just be sitting there kind of useless anyway. my looks are pretty average and i'm pretty damn healthy considering my levels of stress and psychological problems. so i wouldn't mind at all. only thing i'd be worried about was the depression, if it's hereditary.



but if my handsome husband was to donate sperm, i would not be so okay with it. i'm selfish, haha. i worked my ass off to get him and nobody else is allowed to have his baby! :P

Sherry - posted on 03/01/2012

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I contemplated the idea. I hope ppl don't do it for the money and really think about how it will affect them long term. The idea of helping someone is wonderful though! Some ppl don't agree for religious reasons, but to each their own!

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