Ex Mother-in-Law moving to my city and I am FREAKING OUT. HELP!!!

Marisa - posted on 03/06/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )

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My ex and I are in the process of divorcing (it will be final in 90 days) and his mother, who I have had a tumultuous relationship with the entirety of our marriage, is moving from Tucson, AZ to my hometown because she lived here years ago and loved it and now that I live here with her grandson she wants to be near him. I am terrified. She is one of those people who has always butted into my life, during my marriage to her son any time he and I fought and I did something he didn't agree with he would run to her and she would text me and tell me what a bad person I was, would put me down and tell me I needed to be on meds and all this other shit. She made it her mission to be in the middle and I never felt good enough for her or her son. So now here she is moving to MY city, where I have all of my family and friends, where I was born and raised, and I am no longer comfortable being here. She has already said she will be watching my son more than my mom (even though I have told her my mom watches him and that will not be changing) she is even trying to move into the same apartment complex as me and this makes me extremely uncomfortable, like I will constantly be watched and scrutinized for any move I make (dating, bringing anyone home when my son is not there, etc). Anything I do is not her business I am aware, as her son and I are no longer together and I am free to live my life as long as my son is not exposed to the men I choose to date or do whatever with. I don't really do anything but go to work about 40 hours a week and I am currently seeing an amazing man who treats me like gold. I guess my fear is her finding out who it is and telling him everything from my marriage, all the mistakes I made that I have learned and grown from, or fishing for information about me. Basically anything she can use as leverage against me. What should I do? It is making me sick to think about no longer being comfortable in my own home, my own city, and basically reliving the hell she put me through in the first place. Help me, please.

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Danielle Elizabeth - posted on 03/06/2013

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Only you have the power to let her drive you crazy or not . You need to tell her some boundaries .if she chooses to move to your city then she can not move into the same apartment complex as you. I understand it is not always easy to tell people these things but I learned you have to sometimes in order to preserve your sanity. I also think it is best for you to be upfront with the man your dating about past mistakes . If he hears it from you and you explain how you have learned and grew from making those mistakes you will more likely get a better response than if he hears it from someone else . I think you need to have a firm hand with her and make sure you speak your mind ( in a respectful manor) and do not let her trample all over you

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