Expecting baby #2(so many emotions/worries)

Alexis - posted on 08/15/2012 ( 7 moms have responded )

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hi im a new member. I'm 20 yrs old with a 20 month old babygirl and im 20weeks pregnant with another girl. this pregnancy wasn't planned so I've been verry depressed but I am alot better now.Honestly I didn't want to have this child but abortion and adoption are not for me and my fiance is over excited about having another child.i was 18 when I got pregnant with my first luckly I had finished highschool at 16 so I was already in college since having my daughter alot of my goals r in slow motion lol bt I still have completed some just not how fast I had planned anyway expecting another child I dont know how im goin to keep my head from spinning im scared of all da responsiblities comin my way(taking care of my toddler,housework,hubbie,new baby,etc)n on top of it all im goin to b 21 rite after baby #2 comes and im always wrried about what others r goin,to think or have to say abt me being young with two kids I had even kkept this pregnacy a secret from majority of all my fam because of that but today I tolda my aunt n granny dat dey can tell whoever they want now bt Im still worried abt their opinions even tho me and my fiance r doin better than most people dats older n with lesser responsiblities than us

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[deleted account]

Alexis I can kind of understand how you feel. I am 33 with 2 girls (4 and 2) and my hubby and I decided to try one last time for a boy. Well we got the shock of our lives when we discovered we were having twins! I was absolutely devastated at first. It all meant we would have to move house, get rid of our brand new car and have so many other things that will have to change. I had really bad feelings about whether I could handle 4 kids...The thing that you have going for you is your age! I had my first daughter at 29 so I started late, but I guess I had to wait to find my Mr Right ; ) I would've loved to start a family in my early 20's as now I feel my frustration kicking in alot sooner than I'd like. I also had 2 miscarriages so I appreciate all of my babies just because I got to hold them and have them. Please live your life now with your 2 precious kids and be happy you CAN have them. It is hard, no one is saying it's not and if they are then we all know they're fibbing lol. Be proud of your babies and love your life! Good luck!

Fran - posted on 08/17/2012

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Don't worry what other people say. You are blessed to be able to carry children. It is not easy job taking care of children. It's 24/7. You will do just fine. You will be surprised at how much will just come to you. Try to get out with your daughter. Visit a local library. Usually they have lots of story times for younger children and you can meet some other Moms from your area. Try a McDonalds Playplace too. I have met so many Moms there. And it's nice to have some adult conversation too. And then you will see that you are not alone. Chin up and enjoy your pregnancy.

Torri - posted on 08/17/2012

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I'm 21 and my husband and I are trying for another baby. There is no shame in being a young mom. Luckily I have very supportive parents. I live by the rule that you only live once so do what you want to do, exactly when you want to do it. Who cares what anyone else thinks. If they don't like it then they don't have to have their kids so young. I look at it as I will be an empty nester at the age of about 40!

Debbie - posted on 08/16/2012

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i was in your shoes a couple months ago. I had two kids and wasnt ready for i third when we found out that we were expecting and that he was going to be born 3 months later. I was shot n disappointed in myself here i am 27 and three kids. Its tough but u will get thru it people will judge u but who r they only the creator knows the master plan. Enjoy ur babies!!!!!!

[deleted account]

People will always judge, if it isn't that you are too young, you are too old, to this, to that.

Don't let people scare you. You can finish school, easily in fact. You just need to find what is right for you.

It is wonderful that your fiance is so supportive. That will be needed even more since you are so nervous about this pregnancy. Think about the positives this child will bring. Even better write them down. Every time you feel down about it look at that list. It will help keep your spirits up.

I got the "oh" from my husband's family for all of my pregnancies (2 ended in a miscarriage). Comments hurt, a lot. My husband's grandmother had the gull to say that our daughter wasn't going to get all of the attention she needed and deserved because we were having another.

Honestly having a sibling for my daughter seems like the best thing we could have done for her. She is learning good life lessons.

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Alexis - posted on 08/16/2012

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Thanks alot for da advice...you guys are all right! Im a stay at home mom too now which have to get use to.my fiance realli dnt always understand how tired I be from just takin care of our daughter and the house sometimes I feel lik just because he work two jobs he thinks that only he shuld b tired when being at home with r toddler feels lik a job to me too but men never fully understand us women lol....i knw I can do it bt I knw its not goin to b easy at all !!im excited my daughter will have a playmate because I have no family out here n my fiance only got a brother out here so she is pretty lonely and me not having any friends doesnt make it better .i hate dat I worry about others opinions so much but after reading all you guys comments I feel better so my middle finger is up to all my doubters and da shit talkers lol.Good luck to all you guys and I wish u da best p.s WE ARGE ALL STRONG WOMEN DAT CAN HANDLE ANYTHING!!!!(eventually haha)

Kim - posted on 08/16/2012

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Hey I just turned 22 and I have a 10 month old and I'm 18 weeks pregnant with baby #2 and feel a lot of the same ways you do. I do a lot on my own because the father works a lot and I take on most of the responsibilities at home. I also suffer from some mental issues too which def. doesn't help lol. I'm nervous I won't be able to handle 2 babies so young, so at least your first is a little bit older and will be able to help you with grabbing diapers/bibs/rags & such. :) Hang in there and hopefully thing's will look up. Soon our babies won't be babies anymore. Good luck to you!! :)

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