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Jennifer - posted on 01/01/2010 ( 6 moms have responded )

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I have been married for nine years it will be ten in july. I have three children, boy age 8 (almost 9), girl age 7, and boy age 4. Does anyone feel as though it was a mistake to get married and have kids, I mean I love my husband and my kids. But most of the time anymore I can't stand any of them. I don't know if I am depressed and that is why I feel this way but have no one to talk to and just feel like an aweful mother for feeling this way.

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Sherre - posted on 01/09/2010

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I just became a mother and I know, it definitely is hard! Neither of us have a job, our own apartment, car...& everyother day, my mother wants to kick us out but I know she's stressed out too. Taking care of herself, my sister & my family is most of the reason. And with the economy, finding a job is difficult! It's always good to chat with close friends and keep yourself occupied. Also, try talking to your husband and get deep down to the root of the problem. If that doesn't help, you should see a therapist and/or take meds.
Good luck!

Shelley - posted on 01/06/2010

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hi jennifer,
we all feel like that at times i've been married 3 years and have 2 little girls 2 and 8months and some days its hard. if you feel like it all the time then maybe you are depressed and maybe some anti-depressents may be good for you. you are not an awful mother because you care enough to seek some help. You also wrote that you have no one to talk to its really important that you find something that you enjoy socially and do it for yourself if you don't you'll loose yourself amongst the never ending duties of mother hood. hope you feel better soon. Where do you live dont answer that here (you should come join my playgroup)

Amanda - posted on 01/06/2010

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You aren't an awful mother or an awful wife. To be honest, their are times when I look at my husband and think that I have made the biggest mistake of marrying him and then other times I look at him and think that I couldn't have made a better decision. There are things you can do to make you feel a little better. Leave the kids home with your husband and go out and have a good time with some friends. Join groups at the local library, volunteer for something, or get a job (if you don't already have one). When I started feeling that way, I enrolled in courses at my community college. It's great now that I have time and a place to be me and not "their mother" or "his wife."

Amy - posted on 01/06/2010

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a one bedroom house for all of you? That's got to be hard! Your not a bad mother or wife, you just have your needs too. I had some issues about the time I got pregnant, it was more of a I hate my job, etc type of thing. I felt like a horrible mother. I knew I needed to find a better/different job, but I didn't see anything and didn't want to risk changing jobs because I was the sole income for our family.

Either way, I got a new Job and I feel like a completely new person. Try to figure out what you need to do for yourself. When you have 3 kids they take up so much of your time, I'm sure you don't do as much for yourself as you want to.

My husband and I have one of our parents watch our son for a night or two every once in a while and it really does make a huge difference as well.

If you have the ability try seeing someone, if not, just look at your life and start making notes of what you do and don't like, then find ways to make the things you don't like enjoyable again.

Jessica - posted on 01/01/2010

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no you are not an awful mother!! I had depression and you seem to be showing signs of it. you should go talk to your family doctor. There are many levels of depression. and many different responses to it. But your doctor can help you find a way to get back to your regular self. whether its therapy to medication. i wish you luck.

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