family and the holidays

Helen - posted on 09/24/2009 ( 5 moms have responded )




my husbands family lives here in atl and mine (or 1/2 of mine) (parents two sisters and a nephew)

live in miami and when it comes to the holidays its a big deal to everybody where me my husband and daughter spend the holidays we dont want to hurt anybodys feelings but we cant be everywhere at once last year i had my daughter on dec. 23 and as soon as we left the hospital we were back and forth to families homes and then on the 26th we drove to my moms! 12 hour drive. I didnt sleep in my own bed after having my child for 2 weeks and now the conversation is back on the table and I feel like no matter what somebody is going to get hurt and nobody is going to want to change plans


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Brandi - posted on 10/04/2009




I think it's time you start your own traditions. Stay home and invite BOTH families to your home. Anyone who really wants to see your baby will be there. Arrange non-holiday visits throughout the year. and If someone is having trouble visiting you on a holiday, arrange a near-holiday visit for that relative (i.e. in the case of elderly or disabled) My husband and I also alternate families/holidays. His on xmas you on thanksgiving this year. next year you do xmas at yours and thanksgiving at his. Everyone else will just have to understand.

Sarah - posted on 09/27/2009




It can be especially hard when your family and your husband's family put pressure on you to be there for every holiday. You are also right - most times someone always get hurt - but family should know that their children are going to grow up, branch out, and have families of their own. They will learn how to deal with it.

The best advice I can give is that YOUR family - your baby, your husband, and you come first. How will your daughter do on the 12 hour drive? Are there playmates at one house versus another? Has it been a long time since you've seen your parents, and you would like to spend a holiday with them? Is it less stress for the baby to visit relatives that are close by? My husband and I visit family throughout the year - and let Christmas happen how it may.

Iysha - posted on 09/27/2009




My boyfriend's family lives 3 hours away from us (we live with my parents). Since his mother and 2 sisters have their birthdays the same week as Thanksgiving, we spend that holiday with them and stay a couple days after or before, and spend Christmas with my family. We are thinking of making it like that permanantly or alternating every year. When we move out, I'd like for us to have holidays at our home so we don't have to travel and both the families can be together.

Esmeralda - posted on 09/27/2009




i feel the same way! and you dont want it to seem like there is favoritsm.

my husband and i traded off holidays. for us it was easier though since his mother is Jewish. she got Thanksgiving,and my family got Christmas. and we spend easter just me,my husband,and our daughter.

but that was when we lived close to both sides of our family.

now they live in TX and we live close to miami,so...we are staying here for all the holidays this year. just us,and i dont mind one bit lol waaaayyy less stress on me!

[deleted account]

What about just saying that you want to spend your Christmas in your own home, and visiting family at another time? Or, alternatively, spending Thanksgiving at one family's home and Christmas at the other, then switching which holiday each family gets next year?

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