family issues

Amber - posted on 07/30/2009 ( 7 moms have responded )

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how do i handle my grandmother smoking infront of my almost 2 year old and my baby on the way. When my first born was just a baby i tried to talk to her about it and she blew up at me. I told her i wasnt asking her to quit just to not do it infront of her. she used to go in the other room but now my daughter can walk right into a room where she is and she doesnt know that its bad. It wouldnt be that hard to keep her away from it if it wasnt for that i let my parents take her every few weekends for the weekend because they live a few hours away so it makes it hard for them to see her. I feel that they think if i dont know it wont hurt me but im not stupid and i know my grandmother cant ride in a car without smoking so i know she does it then too. Ive already been through this once and am not looking forward to another fight with my family. they act like im over reacting because they smoked around us as kids. and being that im pregnant right now im already emotional and have high anxiety so just the thought of going through this again with them gives me a stomach ache

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Most people react with the whole i did it around you and your fine... but i always provided proof that says otherwise. i had 2 put my foot down *a little different, it was friends* but i had rules of no smoking at my apt or around in front of my daughter.. they either respected it or they werent allowed over... they all respected that this is the way im raising my child. they knew even if it wasnt the way they would handle things it is a request and out of respect of our friendship they put there addictions aside for me.. i however have been on the other end as well b/c i used to smoke... and i always asked if it was offensive before lighting up .... its hard but common courtesy should always be in play.. also i remember reading an article about how it shouldnt be allowed to smoke in front of kids under the age of 4 esp in the car b/c they arent old enought to make the choice to ask you to stop.. you should maybe mention that to them as well they are human beings and have a right to control what they are around to some extent and since your there mother you are protecting that until they are old enough to make the choices themselves...

Lisa - posted on 07/30/2009

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i have to agree with rebecca they r being very thoughtless its ur kids and u really do need to stick to ur guns. my nan and grandad have not seen my 4th baby because they have become very heavy smokers and there house is so smoking its not fair on u being pregnant and definitely not far on ur child who is having to breath in this dirty smoke with no choice just not fair xx

Rebecca - posted on 07/30/2009

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I really do think that you are left with very few choices. Second hand smoke is so dangerous and you need to think of the health of your child. Tell them if they continue to smoke in front of her or especially in the car with her she will no longer be visiting and stick to your guns because you will have to. It will suck but her health is far more important in this matter and your parents are acting in a very selfish manner

Lacey - posted on 07/30/2009

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when i would visit my mom she would do the same thing..smoke in front of me while i was pregnant. i yelled at her all the time for it. i dont give a crap hahaha. i told her i wouldnt visit her anymore if she was going to continue to do that.

September - posted on 07/30/2009

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Do you live with your Grandma? Maybe you should get your own place? In my opinion I would not take my kid around people who are smoking....and if I ask someone not to smoke in front of my child and they did....I would not take them around them anymore! Good luck!

Tiffany - posted on 07/30/2009

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I know first hand how hard this is. I live with my mom who is a bad smoker. She won't stop even though she knows it's bad. She says there is no way she will smoke outside her own house. And she will never move in with me when I get my own house because she knows I won't allow it in my house. Best I could say, in your case tell them you wont let your daughter stay there. It is very bad, I've always had health related issues because of the smoke. I use an air purifier, it helps a little, maybe try to have them invest in one. As far as your daughter goes it's never too early to inform her whats bad, she'll know. Tell her some things are for adults only.

Laura - posted on 07/30/2009

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If you do not want people to smoke around ur child/children then that is ur right as a parent, try talking to them about it, and maybe saying, look if you don't stop smoking in front of her, then I am afraid you cannot have her overnight, they may not think it's a big deal, so perhaps get a few bits of info of the dangers of secondhand smoke? good luck

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