Favoritisim

Jamie - posted on 08/27/2009 ( 10 moms have responded )

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Me and my boyfriend have a 51/2 month old daughter, he also has a 5 yr old daughter with his former best friend, I feel like he favors his other daughter because he just gloats about her and how smart she is and takes her out to do things all of the time, but he doesnt really show much interest in our daughter he doesnt take the time to play with her or spend time with her, I do everything every once in awhile he will take the time to feed her, I mean he comes in and kisses her and tells her that he loves her but other than that there isnt much interaction, for example we took the kids to the zoo, and he just went ahead with us and showed his mia (his oldest daughter) everything and didnt take the time to make a big deal about it for the baby. Its making me resent him and his daughter. Any advice on how to fix this? when i mention it he tells me its in my head. But its not we were at the zoo with one of the people i work with, and my friend said to me, i dont mean to rub salt into an open wound but it seems like he dotes on mia. (and i have not mentioned this yet to him) any advice?

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Aidlivash - posted on 08/27/2009

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Maybe he is just not into the baby stage.... I know my husband was never really into either of our kids until they started crawling and developing personalities.. Even our first which is a boy. Maybe you should ask him if you could take Mia out shopping for a couple hours so that he can spend some time with the baby. Or next time you go to the zoo have him push the stroller or hold the baby while you explore a little with the older child. Hope this helps a little.... Good luck

Amber - posted on 08/27/2009

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my husband is the same way. doesn't want much to do with them when they are babies, but when they get to a little before a year he plays with them all the time. we have had 4 and everytime it was the same. so hang in there, he should come around soon. :)

Cayla - posted on 08/27/2009

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like everyone else said men seem to have a thing with younger babies,

they cant really interact with them, and most of the time the baby cries for its mommy

when the daddy holds it, at least thats what happened with my daughter.

I noticed that just when my daughter was doing more and making contact with us

like saying mama and dada that he took it on to play with her more etc.

he'll come around :)

Brittany - posted on 08/27/2009

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my husband is the same way with our boys. he would rather play with our oldest(17 months) and kinda ignore the baby(2 months). with our oldest, he didnt do too much until he was about 6 or 7 months, when he got big enough to play with him and not just lay down all the time. so just give it a few more months, maybe it will get better.

Racheal - posted on 08/27/2009

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I think that with men they have a hard time when they are younger. Like my husband asked me why he should read to our son cuz its not like he understands!:) heehee so i dont know just talk to him about and see if he will open up.

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Sarah - posted on 08/27/2009

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I think that it's pretty common for guys to prefer older kids to younger ones. Seems like everyone else who posted has the same issue and I know it is true for all the men i know! Its not a good excuse but at least you know you aren't alone!

Jamie - posted on 08/27/2009

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Thank you all for of you who responded so quickly, your thoughts and experiences have given me some encouragement that things will change. Thanks again :)

Crystal - posted on 08/27/2009

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My husband is the same way with our kids. They are both ours but until the baby started walking and doing things he just didn't know what to do with it so he spent most of he free time with our oldest. He was just more comfortable with our oldest boy. He doesn't know how to play with a baby even though we have had two. Give him some time.

Kalie - posted on 08/27/2009

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My brothers and uncles are the same way! They ignore their lil babies, well they kiss them pat on the head here and there. As soon as they are potty trained, things turn around. Give it time.

Jamie - posted on 08/27/2009

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I agree with Jestine. My DH didnt get involved to much until the kids were about 2. He didnt understand why they couldnt talk or what not. See how things go as your baby gets older.

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