feeling depressed

Yezabelle - posted on 04/13/2013 ( 7 moms have responded )

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Well i gave birth about two months ago, i felt like a complete failure because i ended up with an emergency c section because the babies heart rate dropped, then i wasn't able to breastfeed immediately after so my son never liked to breastfeed, that also made me feel more of a failure, i started to feel like i couldn't do anything right, not to mention that i feel deformed my tummy hangs a bit which makes me feel disgusting, i am a stay at home mom but i always feel tired out of energy and i find my self thinking how big of a failure i am, that i can't do anything right, my son he is a great baby but i feel like i am a bad mother, we live with my mother in law but i don't feel comfortable with her around so i stay in my room all day, and even like that my room is a mess because i feel so tired and drained all the time, my husband is great with the baby and helps around but he makes me feel like im worthless because i can't seem to do anything right, i feel sad all the time, and i hate tgat i don't have any motivation to do anything at all, i don't think he realizes how this makes me feel he just thinks im lazy and selfish, all i want to do is sleep but i can't even do that and when i do he complaints on how much i sleep and even makes nasty comments about it, i just hate that he treats me like a child all the time, he even gets mad at me when something happens to me, like he scolds me because he says that if i did things correctly or if i paid more attention to everything bad things wouldn't happen there is more but i think this went too long sorry if i bored you gys i just need some advice or even some help

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Caitlin - posted on 04/23/2013

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Your not a failure my milk never came in at all so dont worry about that and you should sit your husband down and tell him he is really upsetting you. Men don't understand how hard it is for stay at home moms . But it does sound like you may have depression. And also keep in mind you just had a baby so your hormones are still out of wack they will level out and you won't be so tired.

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Janet - posted on 04/22/2013

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It sounds to me like you have a very bad case of post-partem depression. You need to see a Dr are there are many things to help you thru this. Then, I agree with the first responder that you need to realize what a blessing your baby is and try not to concentrate on the negative. You are not alone! Hundreds of new young mothers feel exactly as you do after having a baby. In my day, women were not made to feel ashamed of their scars or stretch marks. They were battle scars that showed all you went thru to have your precious baby. Try to get close to your mother-in-law if you can as she could be a great help while the baby is so small. Your husband will come around if you do not let him make you feel less than you are. Show him a strong women and mother that will not be critisized! Sending you tons of positive energy in the hopes that you'll take charge of your life. People who love you are suppose to lift you up, not tear you down. You might remind your husband of that! Keep the lines of communication open above all. Good luck sweetie.

Brittany - posted on 04/18/2013

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Things are going to get better I know it's hard. I get super depress over my weight alot and the fact that I can't fit anything in my closet but I know it will get better its just hard cause I want to be my old weight again. But I feel your pain and the mother in law thing I lived with mine for 4 years you will leave u guys are just going thru a season but it will change but believe me I understand what u been thru and still going thru if u need to talk email me brittany.goldring@yahoo.com

Ty - posted on 04/17/2013

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I just had a baby about two months ago too and I can relate to how you feel. I have a droopy belly as well and so do lots of other moms so don't beat yourself up about that...its just part of being a child bearing woman. Anyways, I am always tired too. I want to sleep all day long and I can't because there are things to do, 95 percent of which I never do. Laundry has pilled up clean laundry I mean because I can wash and dry just not fold and hang and put things away. I stopped washing dishes but I learned to load the dishwasher not that it ever gets emptied. My delievery went smooth I had not meds just natural delivery, I breast feed and my baby is big and plump but nevertheless I feel exhasted worthless and just not good enough...I fight through this everyday because it is a battle. the world tells us we can run a house, be ultra thin, and do it all, weeks after having a baby but that isn't true. In reality we'd be in the wild babies strapped to our chests doing nothing else but caring for them. Please don't beat yourself up because you don't match socieital stereotypes...tell your husband to go **** himself...he isn't a woman so his opinnion does not matter you are doing just fine...get some sleep...sleep until you feel rested and I promise you will feel a lot better honey...we should be friends, seriously.

ty

Chrissy - posted on 04/14/2013

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Don't feel sad My first was an emergency c-section and I had to have my daughter via c-section as well. I felt the same way as you i didnt feel like a woman I never got to experience pushing a baby out or breastfeeding and I had a set plan. Things change and its always for a reason. Hell my daughter is now 1 and im still getting use to it all. I told myself things have to change so i woke up one morning and decided to change. Get your hair/nails done and you'll feel great work out a bit chat with moms and be happy that you have such a blessing, If you ever need to chat message me :)

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