Fiancé's mom doesn't approve of me not working

Jessica - posted on 04/03/2013 ( 3 moms have responded )




I'm in school and 2 more classes away from my BA in economics (2 semesters but close) and working as a bar tender now. I was fine before I got pregnant but now being 6 mo along the super late nights and 9 hour shifts on my feet kill me. In order to get my degree I'm taking a class over the summer (may/June) that is 4 days a week and so I don't have much availability for work. Fiancé and I both decided that I shouldn't bar tend anymore since it is hurting my body and that any job I could find wouldn't be worth the time so I should just focus on school / getting our messy house ready for baby. He agreed that he will pay my bills and set me up with money before and after baby. This scares me a little because it requires a lot of trust but I know that he will be good about it. The problem - last night I was talking to his mom and sister and told them that I was excited that I have my two weeks at work and his mom was instantly concerned and asked "well how are you gonna pay your car payment and things?" I was so shocked and didn't know what to say that I spent 10 minutes explaining why I needed to leave the job and just blurted out "well I have my car payment paid for a couple months". I couldn't bring myself to explain the obvious - since I am taking the summer off your son is paying OUR bills since we live together and are getting married and having a baby. They aren't just my bills anymore. If they are then this is just my baby. I know that she thinks I'm bad with money as she has mentioned it to him before (only because I turned down one hand-me-down!) she asked him "does she know your financial situation? You guys can't afford all new stuff!" Any advice on how to break it to her that he's paying while I'm not working? Or make her understand that with my degree I will make money and this is just short term? Or how to deal with her disapproval over the summer while I'm not working? Thanks!


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Chrissy - posted on 04/14/2013




Honestly, Your making the right decision but just because you aren't physically working for someone doesn't mean you can't find a legit job online. If hes supporting you just don't worry about it. She'll come around shes just testing you. Your getting married so I def wouldn't stress overt it. Plus what happens with you two is your business she doesn't have to know everything although she might make it seem like she does. and remember your an adult to and honeslty you dont have to explain yourself to her at all.

Christy - posted on 04/03/2013




When it comes to in-laws it is never easy. I have have been around mine since I was 14yrs now 28yrs. I still have problems with them. She might not ever see things for you and your fiances point of view. If you want to you can just come out and tell her how you to are working things out on your end, but from the sounds of it you are going to get an ear full so be ready for it. I never let my in-laws know any thing about money or when we make big purchases in less I want there input. You don't need her approval to not be stressed out and put you and the baby in harms way.

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