Fighting

Becky - posted on 07/15/2009 ( 10 moms have responded )

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I have 4 little ones and they are constantly arguing. I have 3 sisters and I remember arguing, but never this constant and not as young as my 4 girls are. What am I to do? I feel liek I've tried everything. By the way they are 8,7,5,and 2. Yes the 2 year old is bad.

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Jamie - posted on 07/15/2009

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Do your kids ever get time by themselves. They are just like us, if you had to be with someone 24/7 youd start arguing too. Consider some alone time during the day for each child to get a specific room or activity to do alone. My 2 get to arguing sometimes and putting them each in thier own room to play seems to help. We all need time to do our own thing.

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Ashley - posted on 07/15/2009

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well...I can't say I wouldn't try what Felicia recommended...sort of what I did but on a bigger scale, kids are tough and they aren't stupid It's not like thay would kill eachother If they are all of a reasoning age give it a whirl!

Felicia Neikolle - posted on 07/15/2009

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Quoting Jamie:



Quoting Felicia Neikolle:

I recommend what I set out would happen if I ever had all of the same gender ... set them in a ring outside (make it out of whatever just so there are boundaries) and MAKE them fight for 5 minutes straight ... most pros can't even do that ... they will fight less after that if you tell them since they like to fight so much this is what they will do EVERY time they can't work it out between themselves. Obviously you can't have your 2 y/o against your 8 y/o but you get the drift of what I mean? Trust me, it works. They are so tired after the first minute and a half they don't wanna finish but make 'em stay in there until the 5 mins are up ... they will fight less ... or at least compromise more.






Are you saying to let them actually fight? Like hit each other?





Yep ... but it's much harder than you think ... for one, after the first hit each they are typically mad but by the third hit they hurt and don't wanna continue ... making them stay in there and fight it out wears them out ... it drains them beyond most other physical activity.  You may only have to tell 'em to step in the ring like twice ... in their whole life.

Jamie - posted on 07/15/2009

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Quoting Felicia Neikolle:

I recommend what I set out would happen if I ever had all of the same gender ... set them in a ring outside (make it out of whatever just so there are boundaries) and MAKE them fight for 5 minutes straight ... most pros can't even do that ... they will fight less after that if you tell them since they like to fight so much this is what they will do EVERY time they can't work it out between themselves. Obviously you can't have your 2 y/o against your 8 y/o but you get the drift of what I mean? Trust me, it works. They are so tired after the first minute and a half they don't wanna finish but make 'em stay in there until the 5 mins are up ... they will fight less ... or at least compromise more.



Are you saying to let them actually fight? Like hit each other?

Vivian - posted on 07/15/2009

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I know how you're feeling. I have 3 boys 9,4, and 2. The 2 yr. old is the worst of them all and they're constantly fighting. I'm just hoping the older they get the better it will get. But I've heard it just gets worst..

Heather - posted on 07/15/2009

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I have two boys and they love each other very much, but just like almost all siblings they fight frequently. I have heard about trying to make them more responsible for their actions and telling them they have to work things out for themselves and if Mom or Dad has to get involved the problem will be resolved by just taking away the toy/object they are fighting over. My boys are both little, so the concept is a little more difficult with my 2 year old, but my 4 year old gets it. If they fight over a toy I have to take it away. If they both want to have the remote neither gets it if I have to step in. This might work better for your kids 4 and over, but they can try to pacify the little one so they don't completely lose what they are fighting over.

Felicia Neikolle - posted on 07/15/2009

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I recommend what I set out would happen if I ever had all of the same gender ... set them in a ring outside (make it out of whatever just so there are boundaries) and MAKE them fight for 5 minutes straight ... most pros can't even do that ... they will fight less after that if you tell them since they like to fight so much this is what they will do EVERY time they can't work it out between themselves. Obviously you can't have your 2 y/o against your 8 y/o but you get the drift of what I mean? Trust me, it works. They are so tired after the first minute and a half they don't wanna finish but make 'em stay in there until the 5 mins are up ... they will fight less ... or at least compromise more.

Sara - posted on 07/15/2009

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Ashley Nicole seems to have it down! My kids are two and three and have just started hitting and fighting, so thanks for asking this question!

Ashley - posted on 07/15/2009

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Good luck. With my boys, I make them hug. Sort of like a time out but they have to hug the whole time. They think it's gross and would rather eat dirt so it works reallly well. One time they were fighting and were yelling to me "mom! he hit me! no I didn't! yes you did!" I said "hit him back". Their jaws hit the floor and they gasped at what I had said and replied "we don't hit!". Case closed.

Melissa - posted on 07/15/2009

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I would take some time with each child explain that they must respect there siblings. There brothers and sisters are very importnant people and should show them the most respect as well as you and dad. I think the main thing is to remember kids also fight more when they are bored. I do not know where you are from but out door activities could greatly benefit your children. If moneys tight, get a soccer ball or something. Also you play too enjoy it. If yyou have bikes everone go for a bike ride. Being physically fit increases happpines and overall health.



Another thing is all siblings will have there tifts the important thing is too fight fairand remind them of that and for us not to choose sides, after all just a nother thing for them to fight over, choose appropriate places to split them up 1 in each room and then talk to all involved one on one. There is so many good books if you have time go to your local library. I hope some or any of this helps. Good luck.

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