Fitting in with other moms at playgroup

Jessica - posted on 11/03/2008 ( 7 moms have responded )

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My husband and I were high school sweet hearts and married young. We chose to start our family right away and now have two beautiful children. As a 23 year old mother of two I often have a difficult time relating to other women or "girls" my own age who simply are in a different place in their lives. I am finding that I can relate with the other moms at our playgroup because we as parents all share similar concerns; however parenting issues are about all we have in common as there is typically more than a 10 year age gap between myself and the other mothers. Does anyone else as a young mom face similar situations? Or have any suggestions on how to better relate with either these older moms or non-mom peers?

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Gracee - posted on 09/18/2012

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I know just how you feel! I met the perfect man for me when I was 18 and we got married when I was only 18 too and him only 20. I loved the idea of being young and fresh on my wedding day and I wanted to be a young mom too so we started having children almost right away. Now I am 21 and have two beautiful amazing girls. We have moved across the country and now live in this seal south Texas town and I have become a part of this mom's/play group and all the moms are in their 30s. The youngest besides me is like 28! They always look at me differently and treat me differently. And they also act like my kids are strange because they are quiet and well behaved and their kids are all loud screaming brats! I find myself to be a pretty good mom. I love my children so much and read up a lot so that I always know what to do with them as I raise them and the other moms just act like I don't know anything and I am too young. A lot of them are rude and bitchy too. I just wish I lived somewhere else where maybe I wouldn't have to constantly try to act like I have ANYTHING in common with old overweight clueless housewives.

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Sarah - posted on 11/04/2008

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I live in St. George, Utah and have found that young mothers are EVERY WHERE here. But I have run into people who find out how old my oldest is, then figure out that I was 20 when I had him. Some make comments, some just look at me weird. It used to offend me, but just like Jill said, I am a good mom and have never regretted our choice to start our family early. Some people are too vocal. We can't control other people's opinions of us, but we can feel good about ourselves, so that is all that matters.

Rose - posted on 11/04/2008

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Wow do I understand! I'm 23 and pregnant with my second, I wanted to be a young mom but all my friends from college are still living the college life while I'm playing with Mr. Potato head and fighting off nausea. I just don't know how to find a place I fit in! I've tried play groups but the first one I joined the other two people in it were nannies for the kids...they couldn't really relate to me because this was their job and they were still dating. Are you a part of a MOPS group? This has helped me alot, I am one of the youngest in the group but its still a room full of people that are going through the same things I am. One thing I am thinking about doing is starting a scrapbooking play group in my area that way we have something to do and discuss and even if there is an age difference I don't feel stupid. Don't give up! Someday your kids will be out of the house and you'll still be young enough to enjoy it while our friends are running to gradeschool!

Jennifer - posted on 11/04/2008

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What I have found is that I feel like alot of the older moms are looking down on me for being such a young mother and I don't fit their standards. The play groups I have been to mostly consist of the 30+ mother who thinks that they know everything and everyone seems very uppity about themsleves. Some of my friends have children and I try to go to playgroups with them so I have someone to talk to while the kids play

Jill - posted on 11/04/2008

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i understand completely i am only 21 and i look like i'm even younger! My daughter is 19 months old and every time we go somewhere i feel like people are looking at me like i'm way to young! Even better im prego again with twins in April!!! But no matter what i know that im a great mommy I dont party or any of that kind of thing i just love kids!

Amanda - posted on 11/04/2008

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I'm 27 with 2 Kids so I guess I'm a bit older but I have found that it isn't really an age thing it is finding people who you relate well with. I have some friends who are a fair bit older than me and have no problems with the age gap. I think that maybe you should just keep looking for a group you click with, and not worry about ages!!!

Leisa-Marie - posted on 11/03/2008

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I can defenatly relate to how you are feeling, I am 24 marries, with only one son but I have also taken on the resposiblity of my 16 year old sister. i have tried to join different play groups but I just cant find the right ones, I've tried groups with older mom's and dad's but there just is not that much in common which makes it harder to make playdates. So then Ive tried groups with Moms my age, and theres just again not enough in common....or not enough maturity.....I to would like some tips.....

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