Forcing the child to grow up too fast???

Danielle - posted on 06/03/2010 ( 13 moms have responded )

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I have been told a few times that I am forcing my child to grow up too fast. This has come from different people all older, i.e. my inlaws and my grandparents being the most prominent. They tell me this because I have weaned my child of her paci at 7 to 8 months and now I plan on weaning her from the bottle soon. I want to kick the bottle habit before she is a year old, she is 9 months now. I also plan on introducing the potty as soon as she can walk. They keep telling me that I need to just let her be a baby. All I am trying to do is get certain habits stopped before she cares and start new ones before she is comfortable with the way things are. She has no attachment to the bottle, just what is inside the bottle, so I don't see a problem in taking it away as soon as she gets better with the sippy cup. My daughter is also very independent, so she doesn't need me all the time. She sits and plays by herself for long chunks of time for an infant and this is a cause for concern for them. My daughter lets me know when she wants attention and I give it to her when she wants it and sometimes when she doesn't. I am trying to bring up my daughter to be her own person even at this young age. They think I am not giving her enough love and attention and that I am trying to force her to grow up too fast. Am I forcing her to grow up too fast?

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Thebarbers12 - posted on 12/27/2013

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Western culture tells people to hurry up and pummel out new kids as soon as the other ones are just starting to get used to the routine and life. I agree completely, as I know a woman who was already plotting when to have her next child when her child was 6 months old, 3 days older than my son. She just put her into a toddler bed tonight at 21 months old, and I feel so bad for that child. Shane is babied and loved and I just hope to keep him my baby for as long as I can.

Jen - posted on 06/05/2010

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I get the same remarks from my family as well. Mostly my mom, but other people have said it too. I'm all for getting rid of the habit before it starts. My daughter spit the paci out by herself at 4 months. She was only on one bottle on her 1st birthday, but the last bottle went away a couple of weeks later. She's 2.5 now and is fully potty trained and weaned from the sippy on to a regular cup. She also plays independently, but has her mommy and daddy time when needed. When my daughter turned 1 is when I bought her potty. She would go in with me and sit on her potty. At 22 months she started using the potty daily before she went to bed. Once she realized when she had to go we put her in panties all day and didn't look back. She's been fully trained for 3 weeks now with only a few accidents. Just remember that your daughter is YOUR daughter. You are the one who decides what will happen in her everyday life. If her being independent works for your family, then keep doing what you're doing.

Melanie - posted on 06/05/2010

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No way, sounds to me like your doing a great job! In my opinion an independant child is a well adjusted happy child! My daughter has always been great at playing by herself, she knows im always close by and there will be time through out the day where she will want to just sit with me and have a cuddle. I get the whole "let a baby be a baby" but isnt that just what you are doing, you are letting your little girl be herself, and is she not a baby? to me there is a big diff between letting them be a baby and babying your child. 6mths ago i moved back to my home town with my daughter and caught up with some old work mates who had never seen her, she was happy to go to them all. They all said wow she must be a very happy secure little girl to just go to anyone like that. lol i felt very proud!

Colleen - posted on 06/05/2010

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You sound like me! My daughter is 8 months old. The plan was to take the pacifier away at 6 months but she actually stopped wanting it right before 5 months. I have already introduced the sippy cup when she turned 6 months and plan to take away the bottle shortly after a year old. She also plays very well independently and she def lets me know when she wants attention, all babies do. and believe me she gets plenty of attention I'm just trying to teach her to be independent.
I had a friend that carried ALL 3 of her kids around almost all day long until they where 15 months old n older. She couldn't take them whining or "crying" which was a fake cry to get picked up. Behaviors like this are taught by simply just giving in. Well needless to say I learned from my friends mistakes. My daughter also knows what NO means, When I say no to her she will stop what she's doing. I also want to mention that EVERYONE who meets my daughter says she is the happiest baby they've ever seen, So I guess I am doing something right. I would keep up the good work and agree to disagree with the people who are telling you your "making ur baby grow up to fast", because in reality your def not your just being a good mom.

Rachael - posted on 06/05/2010

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I don't think so. First of all, it is a different world than it was when they were raising kids. Secondly, she is your daughter, you raise her the way you see fit. And Last, I felt the same way. My daughter is 14 months now, and she sounds alot like yours. She was and is very independent and played by herself alot and didn't need to be entertained. She entertains herself, and that is a very good thing as far as I am concerned b/c I didn't have to worry about her wanting to be held all the time. I can actually get things done around my house. She didn't want her paci to begin with, but because she was sucking her thumb, we forced her to take it. She stopped sucking her thumb and to see how hard it would be, I took her paci away at 9 months. It only took 3 days of her crying for no more than 15 minutes and I would go give it to her before she didn't want it anymore. That was the end of that. The sippy cup, we started with the rubber nipple one and when she got good with it, and would take it, we took the bottle. That was 7 months. At 9 months she started strictly drinking out of the hard nipple sippy cup. We have been working with a regular cup since about 10-11 months, and she does well, but I don't let her carry it around with her or anything. She doesn't drink much throughout the day like I think they are suppose to so I let her carry the sippy cup around. My daughter has been sort of potty training since she was almost 10 1/2 months old. She was walking at 9 1/2 and she was interested in playing with it so we got her one and showed her how to use it. She still isn't potty trained of course, but I figure even if she is potty trained by 2-2 1/2 we will be ahead of most people, and then I won't have to worry about having two in diapers. She did it herself, and my mom even said if she was showing those signs then she was ready. Your child will let you know if you are rushing her. You just have to listen and watch her. If you do that, then you are doing fine. If you feel like you will miss this when she is older, or you are missing something now, then step back a little. You probably are.
Bottom line is, don't let anyone discourage you, and don't let anyone tell you how to raise your daughter. I regret not saying things to certain people when they were doing things I didn't like, so now, I know, she is my child, and what I say goes. If I don't want it done, then don't do it, and if I want to potty train her when she is walking then that is what I am going to do. Im sure you are a wonderful mother. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Angelica - posted on 06/04/2010

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she lets you know when she is ready. if you see it go for it. i gave my girl a potty to play with at 1 and by 2 she understood what to do with it. she was in pullups and only had a few accidents by 2.5. my son got the same but wouldn't give up diapers till 4 when one day he said, mommy i'm to big for this now. can i have the spiderman undies. i said, sure but don't poop on him. and he's hasn't lol. it's all about the baby, not the relatives :) you go girl!

Jenna - posted on 06/04/2010

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No, you aren't forcing her to do anything. Believe me - if your child wasn't ready to give these things up then she wouldn't!! lol. My son has been the same way. He never took to a pacifier. He slept through the night (6 hours straight) by his 2nd night home. He sleeps 10-11 hours at night and takes 2 naps during the day. He went from bottle to sippy cup, formula to whoel milk, at the same time within 1 day. (About a week after he turned 1). My son also is content to play by himself. Doesn't need to fuss or be fussed after. You are doing fine!!! It sounds like your daughter is a very quick adapter. I would just say to look for the "cues" for potty training though. No problem introducing her to the potty, but she may have to take her time with it. My son just started showing interest in potty training about 3 months ago. The way he is going hemay be potty trained by 20 months, which would be great lol. Good luck to you!!!

Ashley - posted on 06/04/2010

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Good for you. My son never took a paci, but he is also breastfed and will not take a bottle. We have been getting him used to a sippy cup for the last month and a half and hes only almost 7 months old. HE WILL BE OFF THE BREAST AT ONE. lol. I bring him into the bathroom with me all the time to kind of show him how his parents go pee. and that flushing the toilet isnt a scary thing. He loves it. I also walk in on my husband while he is peeing to show my son how Daddy dose it. (My husband doesnt mind. I wouldnt do it if he did) I think its important to teach your child how to be independent. School is starting so much earlier and I want my child to be ready to go out in the world of school. So good for you. Keep doing what your doing. Sounds like your a fantastic Mom.

Natasha - posted on 06/04/2010

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My son was off his dummy (pacifier) when he teeth appeared at 4 months. He was off his bottles a week after his first birthday. It is actually recommended for their teeth to swap to cups from 12 months of age. Keep it up.

Sonya - posted on 06/04/2010

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my parents are like that my daughter was sucking her paci till she was about three.she wasent really potty trained till three either.i had to quit my job for a while just to teach her to walk cause my parents were babing her all the time.you dont need to let people tell u how to raise ur child.ur the mother and if ur motherly instict tells ur ur doing ok kur doing ok.

Danielle - posted on 06/04/2010

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Thank you Ladies! I was starting to get worried because it wasn't just one person. Granted they raised their children years ago but if a few people came to me about it they might be right. I am just going to do what I do and ignore the negativity.

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i think you should ignore those people. they raised kids a long time ago, and personally i would rather wean early than later. i've seen 3 and 4 year olds being pushed around ina giant stroller with a bottle or pacifier and i think it just looks weird. i plan on weaning my son from the bottle around 1 as well. we are working on the sippy cup and regular cup. i also plan on getting him accustomed to the potty, not necesarily using it, but comfortable with it once he is 1 or so.

Sarah - posted on 06/03/2010

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My daughter kicked the paci at about 6 months and she loves to paly independently. We're still on the bottle at 8 months, but I'm not too worried about that. As long as she's still geting formula up until 1 year, I see no reason why you can't give it to her in a sippy cup.
When I would go out, people would always say, "Oh, she'll just go to anyone" and I felt really bad about it, like she didn't need me or whatever. The my pediatricion told me that secure babies will go to anyone and babies are secure when they know their parent is there when/if they need them.
Hope that helps!

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