Four Year Old Daughter Crying out of the blue

Gracie - posted on 03/10/2013 ( 2 moms have responded )

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A year and a half ago my fiance passed away unexpectedly our daughter was almost three at the time. And when he first passed away she stop eating, talking and back step with potty training. After two months she was eating, talking and trained once again with potty. And her verbal skills were behind but her language is developed now. I even took her to a speech evel and they said her hearing was fine and the language would come slowly.

Well it's been a year and a half and recently she started just crying out of the blue. No reason nothing had happen. The only thing I could think of was transition, when leaving my Moms to go home. Or leaving Camp Fire to go home. But then it happened at home out of the blue while watching TV. And when I ask what is wrong she says I miss Nana or Grandpa or her cousin or even me. It;s hard to know the reason and she says I miss Daddy once in a blue moon. And we talk about him when she ask or I say that was Daddy's favorite ice cream.

I try to keep her busy while we are home... it's just the two of us. And have her help with Dinner or we play or cuddle anything to stay busy. It's been a week of crying and the meltdown are back. I at a lost of understanding.

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Lisa - posted on 03/16/2013

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I remember my youngest sister doing this after our father passed away when she was 3 years 9 months old. She showed little emotion shortly after the death (she really only wanted people to "be happy and play with" her) but a few months later would cry and say "sissy gone" when I was a school or "mommy gone" when I was watching her. I really think she was afraid that we wouldn't come back just like her daddy hadn't.
The Hospice in my area (the same one that helps with terminal home care) offers grief support groups for both adults and children free of charge. The group really helped me to feel like I was not alone and that the emotions I was feeling were legitimate, which never happened for me with a one-on-one psychologist. It would not hurt to see if you could find a group like this in your area.

April - posted on 03/11/2013

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It could be some kind of delayed reaction to the loss, now that she's gotten older and can understand that Daddy is gone and what happened. My daughter recently started something similar, although your situation is much more tragic, for which you have my deepest sympathy.
I've been divorced for about 6 months now, and it was about a year and a half ago that I left my now ex-husband, who kept our dog, Alfie. My daughter out of nowhere started bawling her eyes out two months ago, and when I asked her what was wrong, she said she missed Alfie, who has been given to a new home since my ex could no longer keep him. She hadn't mentioned him at all before that. She'll also randomly say she misses someone random that she hasn't seen in months and she'll cry for them.
My thoughts would be to let her get this out of her system a little bit, and discuss options with your pediatrician. She could benefit from a child psychologist to help her understand her emotions and learn to express them a little better. Good luck.

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