FREAKING OUT

Jeanine - posted on 08/06/2009 ( 13 moms have responded )

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OK i really really need help/advice/ suggestions.. anything would be awesome ...... I have a 10 month old ...and well a 5 year old ..I geuss i should start by saying my 5 year old stopping napping at 11 months old...It was soooooo hard i thought i was losing my mind..... if i let her nap she would be up fussy crying or wanting to play till 1am or later .( i was a single mom at the time too )....I know crazy!!!! . Well now My 10 month old has started the same thing she keeps my older daughter up till all hours crying, trying to play with her etc...and makes her cranky .. and well me too ....lol .... Just with 2 now its Twice as hard cuz i get no break .....iam engaged but my husband and father of my second and well my first hes her dad too of course .. He is away in the military so Im bascially a single mom . for now ...hes has been gone for 7 months now training .....I feel like im losing my mind .. i dont know what to do to get her to sleep or still have naps and go to bed at a sensible hour ?????? im LOST again . IT was VERY hard the first time but now i think im going to lose my mind ... cuz i have to cranky babies and no sleep myself ?? WHAT DO I DO ??? anyone else experience anything like this ????

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Arwen - posted on 08/06/2009

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You have the schedule thing down so I won't talk about that, but I would like to tell you the trick my mother-in-law used to get my hubby to sleep in his room.

She brought his mattress into their room, and placed it by her bed on night one. Every night after that, she'd move the mattress closer to his room. First near her door, out her door, middle of the living room, edge of the den, hallway, and so forth. Just a few feet every day.

As for staying in bed, maybe try to sit her down and tell her that since she's a big girl, she needs to stay in bed so mommy can get the baby to sleep. Big girls lay down like they should. Maybe get her to help with getting the baby to bed, make her feel extra big and mature. ;) Explain about teething and stuff if you want so she'll know that her sister isn't trying to play, her gums hurt, and she needs mommy to put her to sleep so she can feel better.

When my daughter was ten months, she was teething, so there was no way she was sleeping well around that time. I also tried letting her CIO. The one time I went two hours, she turned out to be sick. I felt so guilty, I never tried again. =P My dad said the one time he did it was with his first child. She screamed for over 6 hours before passing out, but she never had a problem getting herself to sleep again after that. LOL I wouldn't be able to take it.

Deidre - posted on 08/06/2009

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If you think it'd be too stressful to try to get your daughter to sleep in her own room definitely don't go for it but, maybe this IS in fact the time to try? I would try with your youngest first, because sleeping in the same room would definitely be harder to break the oldest from. I know that when my daughter and I sleep in the same room (when visiting relatives) we wake each other up, she sleeps horrible and I sleep like crap b/c almost every move I make (and I toss and turn a LOT) stirs her and makes her moan or totally wake up. I had to move her to her own room at 6wks old due to this (and I planned to cosleep for the first couple months). I'm certainly not into the CIO method, it stresses me too much to do it. Crying won't hurt them though. So if you need a break from at least one, put the 10mo in the crib and take the 5yo with you outside to sit and relax for even a min or two. Then go back inside, remove the 10mo from the crib, take a breath, give a hug, and hopefully it will help you both calm down a lil' bit (I do this a lot with my daughter at 14mo, been doing it a while). I'm a part-time single mom lol, being a military spouse. So I do understand the aspect of not having a spouse available (I do have the financial stability though). I'm sending you some strength momma cause you've got TWO! And I've only got one kid.

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Crystal - posted on 08/06/2009

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My eleven month old recently started doing this. I also have a three year old. I have both kids in the bed with me also. I have started going to bed with my baby at about seven. I pretty much make him lay down with my arms around him until he goes to sleep. The first night it took an hour. By the third night it was down to fifteen minutes. Let you older child color or watch tv in another room until you get the baby to sleep. Good luck.

Jeanine - posted on 08/06/2009

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I might l actually try moving her out into Madison's( my oldest's) room... That may help thanks ... i dont know why i never thought of that .. lol I geuss where she was younger i dunno ...that may work ...Thanks ... oh i know about keeping things familiar .. if anything is out of place for my oldest she is thrown so OUT of balance it takes me days to get her back to "normal" we plan on having her "design" her own room when we move so all the things she wants are in there to ease the transition a little more her . she picked out all new bedroom furniture for herself which i bought a few weeks ago shes excited about her new bedroom set so im hoping those things will help her..... as for my youngest oh my i hope i dont have another 2-3 years of this like i did the first time around haha oh my .. but thank you again for the wonderful suggestions and advice !!!

Deidre - posted on 08/06/2009

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yup, a small change might make a difference. Also, if they are at all overtired it will make it harder for them to fall asleep, which may have been what happened with your oldest at around this time (10-11mo). My daughter sleeps 7pm-5am (approx, and she still wakes once a night) and takes her first nap from about 8-10am and is up until 7pm. So she's up for a good 8-9hrs before going back to bed. I've read that if they do have a nap to make sure they are awake from their nap at least 4hrs before bedtime, to make sure they aren't too awake to go to bed on time. If my daughter happens to have an afternoon nap, I make sure she's awake by 3pm and then I try to have her super active afterwards with SOMETHING to get her tired enough for bed lol. And if she's overtired, it sometimes feels impossible to get her to sleep and she has to cry for about ten min, and then I go back in to get her and she's then able to relax and go to sleep (she won't go to sleep from crying though and I don't really want her to, it's just a time for her to unwind when she's being inconsolable).

I just moved to a new apartment. And my daughter hasn't been able to fall asleep on her own in months (with the holidays we did a LOT of traveling so for two straight months she fell asleep in my arms, totally sent the getting her to fall asleep on her own out the window). Well, with our impending move coming up I really didn't want to start trying to get her to go to sleep on her own just to disrupt it with all the packing and moving. Well, it got pretty crazy... I was going crazy... I knew she was ready for me to at least attempt it, but by then we'd be moving in like, 10 days. Well I went ahead and decided to try it. First night it took about an hour (most of that time I was standing next to her crib patting her back, laying her back down, etc.. but not picking her up, oh...and this was after our initial cuddle time of 20min). Second night it took a little less, third night... she was in her crib after 5min of cuddling and asleep within 20min. And it's pretty much been a breeze since. And then we moved. Super frustrating, finally getting her used to going to sleep w/o being held and that happened it. But you know what, she continued doing well. And actually, this is our 5th night in the new place. She was ready. I saw, go ahead and see if your youngest will go to sleep in that spare bedroom. Put her bed in there, a couple of her things so that it appears familiar, have a nightlight in there, and do your bedtime routine with her going to bed in that room. See if it works? If not you can always continue doing what you are doing right now :) Oh, make sure to have a fan in there though since she's used to that noise.

Also, when you do end up moving. As soon as you get your stuff, make sure the kids rooms are set up asap. The familiarity will help tremendously with keeping a routine.

Jeanine - posted on 08/06/2009

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Being a military spouse is hard were just starting out in it .. My Husband is in the navy and while the financial stability is excellent the lack of a partner and co parent is VERY difficult especially in these time ...He has been gone 7 months now ..since my youngest was 4 months old Its starting to wear on us all . We will get our first posting now in September/ October so Im hoping it will be easier when he is home more ...

Jeanine - posted on 08/06/2009

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Thank you so much Deidre I appreciate that so much :) ..i didnt plan on keeping my oldest in the bed with me lol Just at the time it was necessary when she was in an infant .. and My fault i didnt break her from it early we both just let it go till now ... BUT when we get our posting and new house i will definitely start when I have some help with the 10 month old ... to get her sleeping on her own ( keeping my fingers crossed for that working lol) ... I have and will continue to just take A "ME" moment i call it haha and just walk outside for a second just to clear my head my youngest will stay in her play pen ..Thats great advice for any mom whose freaking out lol.. to just walk away for a moment ... sometimes you have to ...Im going to try changing something in my routine .. obviously something isnt working .. even tho it has up until now ..?? i dunno maybe a slight change will make the difference ... Thanks for the help and support ladies

Jeanine - posted on 08/06/2009

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Thanks ladies for the advice :) ... I do have a bed time routine that i strictly follow to the very second every night .. I even look forward to certain times so i know its getting close to bedtime lol ...I have actually tried the whole letting them cry themselves to sleep thing .. Its not working for me unfortunately ..... it didnt work the first time either. i have even went up to 2 hours letting them both cry ( of course checking in to make they were ok) but after 2 hours i wanted to cry too lol ...I should add too maybe that where i was a single mom .. My 5 year old has always slept in bed with me .. and still does ... so that makes it more inconvenient for putting my 10 month old to bed and my oldest will NOT go to bed with her sister up or anyone else for that matter lol thats just the way she is .and my 10 month old also sleeps in the same room in her own bed next to our queen bed , Because right now thats just easier to have her next to me when she wakes up at night .I just would love an hour to myself to take a bath, read a book or relax at night and not have to have 2 minute speedy showers lol ....Maybe I have gone about it all wrong letting them be in the same room with me , but all you ladies who are single moms know its just easier that way lol ...and right now we only have 2 bedrooms we are buying a house when we get our military posting in a month, and trying to get my daughter to sleep in her own room at this point on top of everything just stresses me out i dont think i could take that on right now . My oldest was in day care but when i started staying home again she ended up just staying home with me,, and with school starting in 3 weeks i think maybe it would be pointless i dunno ??? lol Im so lost with this haha I have tried Tv , there is a fan on cuz its summer , but my 10 month old will not go to sleep with like a tv on low in the background .. she was fine in her bedtime routine up until like maybe 3 weeks ago .. maybe this is just a phase .. but it wasnt for my oldest .. she started doing this one day and didnt stop till she got older ??? oh my

Felecia - posted on 08/06/2009

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i have a 4 yr old and a 2 yr old and a ten month old i get all of them up at 7:45 my eldest dosnt have a nap at all he goes to bed at 8 my 2 yr old has an hour nap at 2 then goes to bed at 8 my youngest has a nap at 11 and 4 then goes to bed at 8 if you get them up early and keep the routine the same for a couple of days they should do the same

Jennifer - posted on 08/06/2009

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I'm currently pregnant with my first, so I don't have any first hand experience, but I know my mom and several other mom's I know have had similar situations. What they did was put their child in their crib, close the door and just let them cry themselves to sleep. It's hard (so I'm told) but usually works.

Michelle - posted on 08/06/2009

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where do you live...... take a big deep breath DAYCARE give yourself a break.... I was going insane myself..... you need sometime to relax and chillout..... the government pay for alot of daycare now so just even if its one day a week you sound like you need the break

Deidre - posted on 08/06/2009

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Time to get a break I say. Easier said than done, I know. Any one you can have watch your 5yr overnight so that you can work with your 10mo to get to sleep? Try to figure out what works for her to get her to calm down enough at night and then she'll have no one there to try to play with at night.



Also, do you have a set bedtime routine? This is a must if you don't already. Kids have a great internal clock and if you follow the routine (to a T) for about 1 or 2wks, time and everything, it should help (if you already do this I'm sorry). Have dinner at exactly 5pm, bath at exactly 6pm (no need to use soap always, that may irritate their skin using every night) and try to have one or both asleep by 7pm. I would say the oldest would be easier to get to sleep as you know her better seeings that she's older. Maybe while putting your oldest to sleep let your youngest hang out in the living room (most likely in a playpen) with Baby Einstein or something of the sort that isn't completely energizing (don't want something to get her more riled at night) on TV, if you are okay with that (I know some moms are totally against letting their babies watch tv).



Wish I had more ideas. I also know that white noise works wonders with helping my daughter sleep so maybe have a loud fan in the bedroom or a sound machine running anytime they are to sleep to help block out outside noise.

Deidre - posted on 08/06/2009

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Time to get a break I say. Easier said than done, I know. Any one you can have watch your 5yr overnight so that you can work with your 10mo to get to sleep? Try to figure out what works for her to get her to calm down enough at night and then she'll have no one there to try to play with at night.



Also, do you have a set bedtime routine? This is a must if you don't already. Kids have a great internal clock and if you follow the routine (to a T) for about 1 or 2wks, time and everything, it should help (if you already do this I'm sorry). Have dinner at exactly 5pm, bath at exactly 6pm (no need to use soap always, that may irritate their skin using every night) and try to have one or both asleep by 7pm. I would say the oldest would be easier to get to sleep as you know her better seeings that she's older. Maybe while putting your oldest to sleep let your youngest hang out in the living room (most likely in a playpen) with Baby Einstein or something of the sort that isn't completely energizing (don't want something to get her more riled at night) on TV, if you are okay with that (I know some moms are totally against letting their babies watch tv).



Wish I had more ideas. I also know that white noise works wonders with helping my daughter sleep so maybe have a loud fan in the bedroom or a sound machine running anytime they are to sleep to help block out outside noise.

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