Friends that dont understand

Kellye - posted on 04/22/2009 ( 10 moms have responded )

3

5

0

Some times I feel like I can't find friends to really hang out with or the friends that I do have dont understand why I just cant pick up and go. I just think that they really dont get it. It takes time to fine some one the watch 2 kids. I work 2 jobs, have to 2 kids and a husband. What more do they want.

10 Comments

View replies by

Liz - posted on 04/22/2009

1

22

0

I totally get it, and they wont until they are there... But I must say I have been very lucky to find my best friend who gets it all,and is there no matter what I come with.. I wish you luck and hope you find the same..

Jolene - posted on 04/22/2009

513

21

48

Friends usually don't understand untill they have children themselves. I don't like leaving my baby for other people to babysit, so if I go out during the day my baby comes with me weather my friends like it or not. If they want to go out with me in the evening, I only go out after I have put her to bed for the night. So don't worry your not alone!

Jaime - posted on 04/22/2009

4

0

1

Hey, me too. And i get so lonley sometimes. My husband has frineds and he has judo class 2 nights a week, i have nothing and it seems so unfair. I work and get along with the people there but they never invite me to there weekly get togathers, of course i'm the only married one and the only one with a child. But i can be fun too if they just gave me the chance. Glad to know im not the only one. Sometimes i just want to go see a movie or something on my own just to get out of the house.

La - posted on 04/22/2009

26

7

3

I know what you mean . When I had my 1st child my good friend dropped me like a hot potato. We talked sometimes but it wasn't the same until she had one of her own!! but she still doesn't understand that I've got 4 and she only has 1. It's hard for me to get a babysitter or find the time to go out!!!

Fae - posted on 04/22/2009

30

5

7

Lol I thought my husband and I were the only ones. I'm 26 and he's about half a year or so older than me. We moved from Ohio, thinking we'd like to be closer to our families... We gave up our single family house in Ohio, our friends and jobs there, to come home. Now, I work 2 part-time jobs... they're less than 20 hrs per week, but I volunteer more time because we're currently trying to make the one part-time job into a larger nonprofit organization. I go to school full-time- online thank goodness otherwise who knows how I would find the time... My husband works full-time, and we bring our 16 month old daughter to an in-home daycare. The daycare was our last choice, but after the nightmare with my parents and the small family feeling of the daycare, the daycare is a great choice for us. We don't have time for friends- once in a while we get online to speak to new and old friends or hang out with young relatives with young kids, too.



It's difficult balancing everything, and I'm the only one of my friends who has needed to drop off the face of the earth to concentrate on career and family. It took us over 1.5 years to get pregnant, and it was really driving us crazy. We were ready for a family and feared that for some reason, we couldnt' have one. Between school, work, and that "crisis", I realized that while I was researching online and signed in AIM, my oldest friends weren't even trying to contact me. It was a one-way street. Even at this point in my life, now that we finally started a famil, my parents don't understand what my husband and I are going through and just continue to isolate us and make life difficult for us.



It's tough, but hang in there! We're trying to, and we have found friends and work friends that are more understanding of young families. Sometimes it's just about finding people that are at the same page in their life as you are in yours and finding time to say "hi" to your other friends. I'm trying to squeeze in Facebook time to try to appear available to people I used to know. It works for some, not for others, but bottom line, I can't make everyone happy. But I know how to make a happy and healthy family, and that's my biggest goal.

Tiffanie - posted on 04/22/2009

30

8

5

Hi!! I'm 23 married and I have a 2 year old. My friends, except for one, are the same way. And even that friend seems to have a babysitter almost every weekend. It sometimes seems really unfair!! Also being married doesn't help, because lets face it, we can't go to the club with our single friends and try to hook up with a guy. And a lot of my friends don't understand the meaning of "marriage", they think its a regular relationship and if they don't like it they can get lost. Unfortunately marriage isn't like that and it takes a lot of hard work and dedication. Someone once told me this, and it truly does make sense, when you are single you look for other single people, when you are in a relationship, you look for other people in a relationship, and when you have kids, you start looking for people who have kids. Relationships mature and friendship changes and you find yourself making friends with strange people just because they know what its like to be a mom. I know what you mean and I wish you the best!

Stephanie - posted on 04/22/2009

70

3

4

Hi, i went thru the same thing wit my friends, they didnt understand dat findin a babysitter is hard, & then tryin 2 go out afta workin all day, & then come home & watch the baby, sumtimes u dont even have the energy 2 want 2 go out, I was 18 & jus stayin home wit my son, i never really liked the club scene, but when my friends would ask me 2 go, i never could & they never really understand y, cuz they didnt have kids yet, now dat most of them r havin kids they understand much betta

Kellye - posted on 04/22/2009

3

5

0

Thanks you guys made me feel better and I know one day their time will come and they will see what I have to go through every day.

Tanya - posted on 04/22/2009

22

36

1

Me and my husband dont have any friends, we have 2 children and all that we hang out with or do anything with is basically family, family things, most of the time friends seem to cause trouble and put a strain on marrriages because they want you to party and do things they do which you really dont need to be doing with little children and being married. I enjoy my family and dont need anyone else really, I talk to people old friends on facebook and thats about it. And I'm happy =)

Samara - posted on 04/22/2009

3

4

1

I think this is especially hard if you're one of very few moms in a circle of friends, you're the one who isn't spontanious anymore. Eventually as more of your friends start to have kids and see what it's like they'll learn to plan more, it just takes a lot of time.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms