Full time Stepparenting to a 5 year old

User - posted on 05/19/2014 ( 1 mom has responded )

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My fiancee has physical custody of his 5 year old son. The child's mother is very unstable (does not have a job, never has a permanent residence) and is also very unreliable and inconsistent. She is scheduled to pick up her son every weekend but often times, she wont show up, up until recently (about a month or so). About 2 months ago, my fiancee and his son moved in with me, and I have taken up the role as "mom" because his son has decided, on his own, to call me mom. I cook, I clean, I read him stories, take him to school, teach him things, etc. I made it very clear to him that he could call me whatever he wanted, but that he does not HAVE to call me mom (when my fiancee and I were dating, he called me by my first name). A few weeks ago, the little boy came home from visiting his birth mother, and he told my fiancee and I that his mom told him that he is not allowed to call me mom because she told him that he would get in trouble. I decided to have a conversation with the BM about this and she told me that her son had told her that we (his dad and I) told him that he would get in trouble if he didn't call me mom. I am having a hard time knowing who to believe, since I have no children of my own and the fact that she is SEVERELY unstable, and I wouldn't put it passed her to blame her son to cover her own butt. Anyways, I guess my question is, does anyone have any experience like this, or advice for stepparenting full time, and if he really may be lying and why he would be lying?

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Ashley - posted on 05/22/2014

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most kids do not lie about those sorts of things at times it just better to leave it alone but in your case there should be some thinking and talking to be involved wish i could give you better advice but i never been in that exact position

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