Getting forced into tubul ligation at age 20 was THE Bigest MISTAKE OF MY LIFE

Patricia - posted on 04/25/2013 ( 6 moms have responded )

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I was 16 when I got pregnant with my son Jason I had him a month after my 17th b-day. I met and moved in with his dad I was 15 he was 17 we had Jason within the first year together. He was very physically and mentally abusive and constantly cheated on me. I stayed with him at the time he was a good father an Jason loved him. After 5yrs together I got pregnant again with my daughter Samantha. He was cheating more and kicked me between the legs when he learned I was pregnant again and I thought I lost her. The Dr. said she was fine.

Though Jason sr. had been doing the cheating he did not believe she was his so I had a dna test to prove myself. About 4 months later he told me if I did not get my tube tied he would take my kids outta state to his moms (which he used to kidnap lil jay all the time) So afraid for my kids and myself I had the procedure done a month after my 21st b-day. I was devastated and depressed, 2 months later I learned he had got my 16yr old babysitter pregnant. I left him and took my kids and got our own home. After 3 more months I met my soulmate , the love of my life he is my husband now we have been together for 14 yrs and married for 9 my husband adopted Samantha Jay didn't want to be adopted we've always dreamed an prayed so much for our own child everyday. I regret and wish Iwould have never listened to him he is now married with a total of 5 kids. Since my tubal ligation I have horrible periods heavy lasting sometimes 10 days awful cramps all are things I never had before the tubal. I not only want it reversed so I can have more babies but to also have normal periods again. However Jay is now 19 and in college we have to pay for and have tried everyway to earn the money for the reversal. Does anyone have any ideas that would help us pay o have this done? Thank you al o listening to my story. I know we all have a story, different ones but all have the same goal. God Bless and good luck Thank You, Trisha

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Danielle - posted on 04/27/2013

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If you really feel like you must have a "child of your own", there is always surrogacy. Your eggs and his sperm and another woman carries it. Not sure of the costs, but I would guess it would be close to having the tubal litigation reversed. And there is always adoption. I did not carry either one of my children, but they are very much "my own". Very close minded of you to think that you need to carry a child for it to be "yours." It sounds like you are saying that even though your soulmate adopted your daughter you or both of you stills sees her as just yours. There are children all over the world who would be thrilled to be welcomed into a warm, loving, safe and nurturing family. Blood does not make you a family, love does. Please consider all options.

Deanna - posted on 04/26/2013

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The reversal is very complicated and more than not does not work. Have you thought of IVF? Take the egg, fertilize and then insert? It would still be yours and there is not the complication of another surgery.

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Jennifer - posted on 05/03/2013

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Oh, Hun, I went through similar. I got my tubal reversal in 2009 and had my youngest son in 2010. It is possible and might be cheaper than you think if you are willing to travel. I went to Dr. Lisa Roger at the Jackson Clinic in Jackson, TN. She was WONDERFUL and did an amazing job! The total cost for the surgery is $5400. We used our income tax return to pay for the surgery and the travel costs. Here is her website: http://www.jacksonclinic.com/tubal-rever...

Another option is going to Mexico. I know several ladies that have gone down there for a reversal and have had successful tubal reversals, some having 4 or more babies after their surgery!! It is safe, the clinic is clean and the doctors are great. And it's cheaper than surgery in the US. Here is that website: http://www.riobravoreversal.com/

Dr. Rogers is the cheapest (and best in my opinion) in the US. But if cost is a factor, Mexico could be the option for you.

I wish you the best of luck!

Jay - posted on 04/28/2013

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i would suggest finding teaching hospitals and inquire about free surgical programs which provide medical procedures to people with little or no insurance. they have these at mcg (augusta, georgia)

Charity_knox - posted on 04/25/2013

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Well discuss with your Dr. what options you may have. I am unsure of the cost of a tubal reversal versus IVF to become pregnant. I think talking with a Dr. or someone who has been in your shoes. It certainly can be a financial strain but if it something that is extremely important for you both I am sure you two will find a way.

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