getting married with ur own kids

Ethel - posted on 07/09/2009 ( 8 moms have responded )

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im getting married soon & dont even hev a clue on wat my kids must call my fiance. u know wat they call him moms friend. how do i get them to a least say uncle, i've tried evrthin but to no vail. they respect him but they are not willin to call him anythin but moms friend.

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Lemme tell you my story, I'll try to keep it short. When I was like 4 both my parents remarried. I lived with my mom in Iowa and my dad was in California with the marines so I never saw him.



When my mom got married I called him dad or daddy scott and I just called my stepmom by her name, Debi. (ps my dad and stepmom moved to Iowa when I was in junior high or maybe earlier, I can't remember, so I saw them every other weekend)



As a young lady I had a lot of issues with my stepdad cause he was jealous of my dad being my dad so we butted heads a lot and all that sort of thing, all the while calling him dad cause it is what I had always done. After I graduated from high school my mom divorced him and then I could feel like I could call him Scott.



Once my stepmom asked my why I called him dad and never called her mom. I told her that I felt like I HAD to call him dad cause I had ever since I was a little girl. I love calling my stepmom by her name because she is my stepmom and one of my best friends but she is not my mom. It may sound confusing but that is how it is.



Now, my advice to you is let them do whatever they are comfortable with, don't force them into something they may regret later in life. Sorry this is long and I hope it helps!

Kirsty - posted on 07/13/2009

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id get him to call him by his 1st name ur child will only call him dad if he feels comfortable with it i wud just concentrate on him callin ur partner by his 1st name till ur child makes there mind up :)

User - posted on 07/13/2009

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cant they just call him his name?
I am from a broken family I always had dad (my real dad) and then I called my step father by his name and if I referred to him he is mums husband.

Venessa - posted on 07/12/2009

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My daughter calls my husband by his first name. We have been together since she was three anda half and got married just before she turned 9. I let her make the choice of what to call him and she uses his first name.

Carrie - posted on 07/12/2009

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how old are your children and is thier father involved. my 5 year old son calls my husband daddy, because when we moved house kids in the area said is that your dad and it took from there. but his biological dad is not invoved in his life

Tabitha - posted on 07/09/2009

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I have never been in this situation but I 'll tell you my opinion. If I were you I think I would let them call him what they want for a little while till everything calms down. Once you get a routine and the kids see that he is there to stay then maybe try to change that. Also it depends on how old they are!!! Older kids may take a little longer to warm up to the idea of calling him something else! Just approach it slowly!! Good Luck!! And Congratulations!

User - posted on 07/09/2009

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What if you just told them to call him by his first name? I had my son when I got married he was 6 he to this day calls him by his first name..its more comfortable for both of them.

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