Going back to work

Amanda - posted on 03/07/2014 ( 3 moms have responded )

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I'm going back to work full time! I'm excited because the extra income will help a lot. I've been married to my husband for nearly 8 years and we have a beautiful 4 year old daughter. I have not truly worked in 4 and half years. I had to quit my job of personal training and group exercise classes when I was pregnant with my daughter and just never went back due to having her, taking care of the house, my husbands deployments, and working to finish my BA. He made enough money, and we managed it well. We have since moved to a bigger house, bigger city, and new jobs for he and I. There has always been a battle of cleaning the house and helping and doing things for our daughter. I have recently stopped asking for him to do anything when he comes home from work. Why? Because it is such an effing battle for him to put a dish in the sink, feed the dogs or give our daughter a bath. I would rather not have to repeat myself 5 times before bed, so, I do it myself. I'm going back to work full time next week and my dreading it and excited. I have to stay on top of everything and it's exhausting. Just an example of me giving up duties to let my husband do things: two years no inspection sticker on his truck and a 200 dollar ticket later! Oh there are many others examples that could be a best selling novel of my husband's excuses for not doing stuff or doing things that are unnecessary. Feeling lost and very under appreciated. Oh, before I finish.... I've been working out a lot more, really getting back in the shape, gaining muscle. I get undressed in from of him, (maybe he will comment on my changing body), fat chance. Nothing, not a word. suggestions?

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Jodi - posted on 03/07/2014

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It's not YOU that needs the counselling, but the two of you. You need to insist he attend with you because you are not happy.

Amanda - posted on 03/07/2014

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Yes, I have talked with him about it. He says he knows, and will try to do better. It may last a few days, but it goes right back to him complaining about anything I ask him to do. Last time I talked about counseling, I ended up going by myself. Then I sought out counsel just for myself. After a few months, I discontinued it. I could simply do the same thing with my family and friends, just talking.

Jodi - posted on 03/07/2014

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Have you actually discussed these things with him? Have you considered counselling together to resolve these issues?

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