Grandparents

[deleted account] ( 2 moms have responded )

Hi everyone! My name is Cyrena, and I have a 3 year old daughter. I had her when I was 17 and I stayed with her father for about a year after I had her. He has never been very involved, and when we broke up our daughter lived with me and visited him on the weekends. I have always dealt with her doctors and school, she has a lot of doctors because of medical issues, and her father has never asked any questions or tried to be involved in any of that. His parents however are a completely different story. They have always over stepped there boundaries, and done things that I think are inappropriate. Recently I moved out of state with my daughter, and they have been freaking out. His mother asks to skype with my daughter every week where it is just her and her husband. I am trying to get settled, and I think it is very rude of her to do this, and it fuels her with her thoughts that she is more of a parent then a grandparent (my daughter is blind and severely disabled, so the skype thing is only for the benefit of the grandmother.) I made a schedule where I come down and visit every two months, and his mother sent me an email saying her and her husband are moving their work schedules around to take her over the summer. I don't know if it is just me, but I do not want to send my daughter to her grandparents for two months. It would be different if I knew my daughter's father would be taking care of her, but he has a full time job and I know most of the care giving will be done by his parents. Am I justified in not wanting to have my daughter go with them for two months or even one?

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[deleted account]

Thank you so much for your input! I've really been struggling on whether I'm being mean to them or not.

Denikka - posted on 04/11/2014

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I don't know about other moms, but I wouldn't send my developmentally NORMAL children off to live with someone else for 2 months! And definitely not at 3 years old. I think that's ridiculous. If you AND your daughter went out for a week or so, I could definitely be okay with that in your position, but especially with a severely disabled child, 2 months completely without their regular caregiver could be terrifying.

The Skype thing, I would say once a week is not all that unreasonable, but even for a *normal* child, any phone call is more like *hi...quick gibber story...k bye now!* and they're off on to the next thing. And expecting it to JUST be your daughter and them seems a little weird to me. I usually let my 5 and 3yr olds talk by themselves on the phone, but sometimes I put it on speaker, especially when I'm needed to *translate*. Specifically requesting it be *just them* seems a bit strange, especially if your daughter is unable to be super interactive (verbal, etc)

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