grumptastic 17 month old??

Amanda - posted on 11/17/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )

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so my dd has had problems since she was 12 months old with head banging. she slams her head off of everything when having fits. she was leaving deep dark purple bruises and yellow and brown bruises all over her head. she finally stopped for a while but now shes back at it again. i woke up yesterday to the sound of her repeatedly bashing her head on her door at 6 in the morning and screaming bloody murder. she also took her books off her shelf and her toys and threw them because she was having a fit. this is so frustrating. she did the same thing this morning. (our bedroom is a pass through to her bedroom. abc is how its set up. a is her room, b is our room and c is kitchen. only its horizontal if this makes sense) the other day she was refusing to go to bed and take a nap. she was up from 8 till about 4, no nap. now she thinks shes going to get out of bed, walk over to her shelf and throw all of her books on the floor in retaliation of her nap and climb back into bed. she has the worst fits. shes impatient when it comes to eating. it could be 3 hours after she ate lunch with a snack in between and were getting ready to eat dinner and if i take too long she throws a fit; screams at the top of her lungs, throws herself onto the floor, throws things, the whole bit. when shes done eating instead of saying ba ba or pointing she spits all her food out of her mouth and starts screaming bloody murder. her bottle could be right in front of her face on the coffee table and shell still scream bloody murder and roll around on the floor and throw things and even hits me. its crazy. i feel like im walking around on egg shells by a 17 month old. i am beyond frustrated with her behavior. she knows im making dinner or lunch and she throws a fit because she wants it now. after breakfast i was giving her a gummy snack and she has a total freak out melt down because i was too slow. otherwise she shoves as much as she can into her mouth to the point that shes choking and still trying to jam more into her mouth. so i gave her one at a time with a breath in between. because she swallows her food whole sometimes. ugh. i am beyond frustrated with her temper tantrums. its ridiculous. its also embarrassing walking around in public when your child has bruises all over their head. shes acted out like this in public before. i went to go get a pizza and i took too long so she totally freaked. was slamming her head off the walls and rolling around on the floor and screaming and everyone stares at me like im the worst. she climbs into her stroller just to throw herself onto the ground. its horrible. i had to call my hubby to come pick us up, because we walked. i know fits are normal at this age.... but this bad??? or am i just that blessed?? lol seriously. any ideas to keep us sane and to also maybe manage her better?? do we just have to wait this out or is there something we can do???

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Amanda - posted on 11/19/2012

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we put her in time out a lot for her behavior and she just comes out and does it all over again. were fairly consistent but she just does her own thing regardless. i was just incredibly frustrated that day. i still am a little because shes been like that really bad for the past three days. shes usually manageable for the most part but lately its just non stop it seems. there are no good days its just a constant battle with her. yesterday my dh got her in the morning and gave me a break which was nice. we put her in time out until shes done with her attitude and throwing things and herself. time out is her pack and play so she cant hurt herself. she used to leave hard core bruises on her head. i felt bad. still do. thanks for the advice though. its looking like one of those things that you just have to stick out which really really stinks. i think once she can actually vocalize her wants more shell be less likely to act out as much. she knows how to say ba ba. last night i was making dinner. dh got her from her nap at about 530. he got her bottle, got down on her level and asked do you want your ba ba? say ba ba? she instantly started a whining fit so i told him to just walk away. he did this with her like 3 or 4 times but she did finally say ba ba ba ba. so he gave her her cup and we clapped to say good job. parenting is hard.......... ugh....... lol

Lola - posted on 11/19/2012

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One answer...TOUGH LOVE!! You need to tell her NO when she bangs her head or has a fit put her in time out and take her back no matter how many times she gets up tell her to stop And take away toys if she continues this behaviors.Tell her is she doesn't wait for mom to cook dinner she isn't getting any,and stick to that she isn't going to starve she will stop acting up and eat! Tell her that your not playing anymore and if she hits her head again she is going to lost what ever her favourite toy is and if she continues to do that put her in her high chair ad like a time out thing so she can't hit her head and say your not getting down until you stop hitting your head,she will scream tears will come,she might bite yell or what ever else but be strict and persistent don't give in if you gave in once than that's all the hard work undone! She will see oh if I do this enough mommy will cave.don't give empty threats only those you intend to follow through with take away privileges toys use time outs and if the head banging continues take her to a doctor they will be able to suggest something that will stop her or even test her to see if she has ADHD or something similar (she probably doesn't and is just being mean to get her own way) Make her see you mean buissness and you ain't givin in!



Good luck.Hope I helped a bit :)

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