hard being a young mom and housewife

Stephanie - posted on 10/02/2009 ( 135 moms have responded )

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Is it hard for all of you young mothers to work,raise a 20 month child, and deal with a man? it is so hard for me i am desperate what can i do?

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Natasha - posted on 10/02/2009

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I am lucky that i don't have to work! But i still find it hard sometimes looking after a baby and keeping the house clean and all those other things you have to do as a mum. Sometimes i just leave the housework because otherwise i just feel like i'm going to go crazy! As long as the house is a little bit tidy i can handle it. I always say that baby and then me come first. If i need a break i just take one (If my son will let me :)) But i really don't know how mums juggle baby, work and housework! I would never work while i have my kids at home because i feel that they need all the attention they can get from me. i don't like the idea of other people seeing my kids more then I do and for as long as that is possible i will stick at it! I love being a stay at home Mum!! And yes in the hard times i do rely on God to give me the strength to keep going! He really does help!!

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Moffittmisty78 - posted on 04/20/2016

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I know how all of you feel I'm fixing to turn 26 and I have a 2 1/2 year old, a 1 1/2 year old and a 5 month old and a husbend that works in the remodeling and roofing industry. I' m at home 24/7 with the kids. What I do is block off part of my house where my two oldest can play and be safe while the baby is in her play pin while I clean house I might get one room clean but at least I' m trying.

Michele - posted on 10/12/2009

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thank you to all of you for your kind relpies its nice to kno i can talk to sumone on here xxxxx

User - posted on 10/12/2009

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I am in the same boat as you, and I also feel tired, overwhelmed and underappreciated at times, like I am getting pulled in a million different directions. All I can say is make sure you take a little bit of time for yourself. Have a girls day at a winery, go on a date with your hubby, or go to the spa by yourself, talking to friends can help too, just know that you are not alone. it is hard being a housewife and a mother to a small child and you are still expected to be "in the mood" at his evry whim! maybe just talk to your husband abuot how youare feeling and tell him that sometimes you need help around the house, or just a break in general, tell him you need him to be understandin when you are too tired or crabby for no apparent reason (to him) Hang in there sweetie, you are not alone!

Christine - posted on 10/09/2009

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deal with things one day at a time and for goodness sakes take- i repeat take some time for yourself. Even if its just a few hrs every now and then.It took me 4 kids to figure this out.But what good are you to any of them if your not feeling your best. Im sure your doing the best you can. Just one day at a time.

Mary - posted on 10/09/2009

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I have been having serious problems trying to balance it all lately I really dont know what my deal is. I am 24, have a 3 1/2 year old daughter, she has a speech delay and sensory issues. Been married almost 3 yrs and things have just been rough lately. Any advice? Thanks.

Bonnie - posted on 10/09/2009

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I WAS AT HOME WITH MY SON FOR 2 AND A HALF YEARS AND I LOST IT COMPLETELY ,HAD TO GO ON ANTI DEPRESANTS. FELF VERY GUILTY BUT PUT HIM IN DAY-CARE AND STARTED WORKING HALF DAY SO I COULD AFFORD A MAID.NOW WE ARE ALL VERY HAPPY AND I EJOY THE TIME I HAVE WITH HIM .

I KNOW NOW THAT IT BETTER FOR HIM TO SPEND TIME WITH SOMEONE HIS OWN AGE AND REMEMBER UNTIL YOU FIND YOUR OUR WAY ....HANG IN THERE

Cecilia - posted on 10/09/2009

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Yea I know what you mean, I have a 2year old and a 1 month old and a husband who likes things to be done. So it gets tough at times especially those days that you jus don't have that energy to do it. If your husband is somewhat understanding though then have him help you out, with the baby atleast. Tell him you just need some time to yourself to go take a relaxin bath or jus sit and do something for yourself. It's best to try and always have that open communication between you and him. If your husband is one of those guys that dont care, then it's time for a talk and to put him in his place, lol. He has to understand that it's not easy to be a mom and a wife. It's great but not easy. Just try to have patience n if all else fails pray!

Ashley - posted on 10/09/2009

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my daughter is 14 mos., my husband is about to turn 27, i'm almost 25. being a housewife, and mother is a job in its self. i am always lacking energy to clean house. so i do what i can while she naps, and he is at work. a woman's work is never done

Lesli - posted on 10/09/2009

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I'm 22 with a 5 month old and went from partying almost every day of the week at college and having my friends across the hall to sitting at home all day, cleaning, cooking, and taking care of my daughter. The responsibility doesn't bother me. I'm actually thankful for my daughter because she made me grow up. However, I get really down sometimes because I begin to feel like my only purpose is to take care of my husband and daughter. I don't drive, so I can't really go anywhere, and we're in a town that neither of us is familiar with. Therefore, we've yet to make any good friends. Most days the only person I talk to until 7:30pm is someone who can't understand me or talk back. Luckily, at the end of this month I'll be starting night classes. It'll be a good change to get out and see other people. Keep your chin up....it's hard to have to put your youth behind. Take a break on occasion.

Michele - posted on 10/09/2009

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today has bin sooooo hard i feel soo low today i cried x2 he thinks wen im at home all day i do nothing but is cooking cleaning shopping food on table makin beds tidyin up doin nothing !!!!!! i dont think sooo :(

Sara - posted on 10/09/2009

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Stay at home with your baby. It will help. We are not supermoms. You will have to sacrafice money to be more happy.

Nikole - posted on 10/09/2009

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I have a 9 month old and am married to a man that is LAZY! I go to school full time and looking for a job! Keep your head up and stay in church it helps!

Melissa - posted on 10/09/2009

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I have a 2 1/2 year old, am a full time student, work part time and have my hubby to take care of. It's not easy, but I make it work. I try to think in steps rather than everything all at once. I know that once I graduate in December, I'll be able to help out more financially once I start working full time...you just have to remember to talk to your hubby and work together. That's really important.

Vanna - posted on 10/09/2009

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I have a 6 year old, a 6 months old, and two jobs. My day starts at 5am to cook breakfast for my husband and get ready before the baby gets up a 6 and my older one at 6:45 and ends around 1:30 am. Both of my jobs are night jobs, total around 60 hours a week, along with the house, I do budgeting and errands, appts., and well mom stuff if you know what I mean. So it is hard, but I have never met a mom that says it is not worth it, and that is what I remind myself. Just make sure he is willing to listen to you when you need to vent, and take atleast and hour a day and do for yourself. Read a book, take a long shower, or go to the mall and walk aroung while the baby naps in the stroller, believe me the last one is more stress relieving than you might think. But always just remember to take care of yourself too.

Michele - posted on 10/09/2009

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Quoting Kristin:

I am 27 and have 3 kids and a husband that i snot the most helpful, I love staying home butthere are days that I can't take it anymore I just have to tell myself that I am not superwoman and it will all get done when it gets done, and make sure you plan some time for yourself to get away and take a break


 

Jessica - posted on 10/09/2009

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Hey, its definitely hard. Im 23, my son is now 3 years old. And I am engaged to be married sometime this spring, we just havent set a date yet. I use to work a part time M-F job but was let go when personal issues came into play with my son and my fiance. It really sucked b/c i miss my work so much! I never realized how much destressing time i had at work, and i took so much of it for granted. Ive now been looking for work for 4 months now, and it stinks. I have experience in reception and computers, but no one will hire me b/c of my attendance at my last job due to my son being sick a lot. I took time out of work instead of my fiance b/c my fiance isnt my son's real father and felt bad asking him to do that when its not really his responsibility. When I lost my job, my relationship with my fiance went way downhill, we were going broke, and my son is a very difficult child and he was always causing me and my fiance to fight. I ended up leaving our apartment and moved back into my parents to give us some space so we werent at each other every second of the day. I started reading a lot, and a write a lot to help me through my emotions. But relieving myself of the day to day functions of running a house, being a mom and a "wife"....helped me calm down, focus on what i had to do, and regain so much love and faith and respect for what i had before. I am more in love with my fiance now than i ever have been, and ive become a more patient person with my son. Me and my fiance are looking for a new place, but b/c i still havent found work yet, we really cant find anything we can afford. Hence why we havent set an official wedding date yet. But the main thing that helped was a started picking up new hobbies. And so did my fiance. I now read, and do scrapbooking! And my fiance dj's now 2 nights a week. So on the nights hes not home, ill work on my new found hobbies that i love! We both get the time and space we need, and to be able to do things that we love, while not being out at all hours of the night with our crazy drunken friends haha It really is a day by day thing. Things are gonna happen that really stress u out to ur max...and it honestly wont stop. theres always gonna be something...i guess the best piece of advice that ive learned that i can pass on is that just to try and stay as calm as possible, find a vice, something to lean on, when u cant turn to your man (lets face it, they cant always fix EVERYTHING), and have patience and optimism, and make sure if you do have friends available to talk to and see even just to meet for lunch, do it! Bring your baby with you too. It gets u both out of the house, gives you time with your friends and your baby gets a taste of who you are. Yes, it may be hard to take him/her places, but its better than go going crazy within yourself from work and work at home (cleaning, laundry, cooking, etc.) Just be you, but in a more adult way. Take time for you, and the rest will fall into place.OH! And dont be afraid to talk to your boyfriend, take time when u can for each other. Even if its after the baby goes to bed. Feed him/her first, and put him/her to bed, then set a romantic dinner for 2 in your home. Set the music, some candles, homemade meal, a movie after...trust me. It may seem a little cliche, and maybe even boring now...i use to think so..but now..its one of my favorite things to do.



OH! And one more thing...set a friend nite at your place. If you two live together with the baby, in your own place...have a day everyweek that u set aside for when the baby goes to bed that u have some friends over. Cook/get some munchies, a few drinks, and just invite a few close friends over. Our night use to be a wednesday, right in the middle of the week to break up the chaos. Try it out, and see what happens! Good luck, and stay positive

Michele - posted on 10/09/2009

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men jus soo not get it it HARD WORK bein a mum dont get me wrong i love my kids to death but wen they demand your attention 24/7 its hard he moans shouts at me sayin he hates livin here :( i try to b a good fiance but sumtimes i feel like cryin then i do cry and i feel worthless as a mother n a fiance n i hate it :( :( im TRYING my best he wrks fri sat sun but then does over time during the week n says im doing it to pay the bills i know bills need paying but for heavens sake spend time with me !!!!!! after all we r a family i cry alot coz i kno my best must not b good enough

Jessica - posted on 10/09/2009

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Hey, its definitely hard. Im 23, my son is now 3 years old. And I am engaged to be married sometime this spring, we just havent set a date yet. I use to work a part time M-F job but was let go when personal issues came into play with my son and my fiance. It really sucked b/c i miss my work so much! I never realized how much destressing time i had at work, and i took so much of it for granted. Ive now been looking for work for 4 months now, and it stinks. I have experience in reception and computers, but no one will hire me b/c of my attendance at my last job due to my son being sick a lot. I took time out of work instead of my fiance b/c my fiance isnt my son's real father and felt bad asking him to do that when its not really his responsibility. When I lost my job, my relationship with my fiance went way downhill, we were going broke, and my son is a very difficult child and he was always causing me and my fiance to fight. I ended up leaving our apartment and moved back into my parents to give us some space so we werent at each other every second of the day. I started reading a lot, and a write a lot to help me through my emotions. But relieving myself of the day to day functions of running a house, being a mom and a "wife"....helped me calm down, focus on what i had to do, and regain so much love and faith and respect for what i had before. I am more in love with my fiance now than i ever have been, and ive become a more patient person with my son. Me and my fiance are looking for a new place, but b/c i still havent found work yet, we really cant find anything we can afford. Hence why we havent set an official wedding date yet. But the main thing that helped was a started picking up new hobbies. And so did my fiance. I now read, and do scrapbooking! And my fiance dj's now 2 nights a week. So on the nights hes not home, ill work on my new found hobbies that i love! We both get the time and space we need, and to be able to do things that we love, while not being out at all hours of the night with our crazy drunken friends haha It really is a day by day thing. Things are gonna happen that really stress u out to ur max...and it honestly wont stop. theres always gonna be something...i guess the best piece of advice that ive learned that i can pass on is that just to try and stay as calm as possible, find a vice, something to lean on, when u cant turn to your man (lets face it, they cant always fix EVERYTHING), and have patience and optimism, and make sure if you do have friends available to talk to and see even just to meet for lunch, do it! Bring your baby with you too. It gets u both out of the house, gives you time with your friends and your baby gets a taste of who you are. Yes, it may be hard to take him/her places, but its better than go going crazy within yourself from work and work at home (cleaning, laundry, cooking, etc.) Just be you, but in a more adult way. Take time for you, and the rest will fall into place.OH! And dont be afraid to talk to your boyfriend, take time when u can for each other. Even if its after the baby goes to bed. Feed him/her first, and put him/her to bed, then set a romantic dinner for 2 in your home. Set the music, some candles, homemade meal, a movie after...trust me. It may seem a little cliche, and maybe even boring now...i use to think so..but now..its one of my favorite things to do.



OH! And one more thing...set a friend nite at your place. If you two live together with the baby, in your own place...have a day everyweek that u set aside for when the baby goes to bed that u have some friends over. Cook/get some munchies, a few drinks, and just invite a few close friends over. Our night use to be a wednesday, right in the middle of the week to break up the chaos. Try it out, and see what happens! Good luck, and stay positive

Kristin - posted on 10/09/2009

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I am 27 and have 3 kids and a husband that i snot the most helpful, I love staying home butthere are days that I can't take it anymore I just have to tell myself that I am not superwoman and it will all get done when it gets done, and make sure you plan some time for yourself to get away and take a break

Michele - posted on 10/09/2009

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i feel for you im the same i have 2 kids 4 n 21 mths old my eldest has jus started school n im lookin for a new job but wen i tell them i cant work a full week or after 3 as my son finishes school at 3.30 pm they not wana kno my partner works fri sat sun so hes out wrkin while i struggle on my own as well as tryin my best to do the house its hard work but i hope it gets easier i feel soo low wen he shouts at me to tidy up i jus wana scream n say im doin my best : xx

Priscilla - posted on 10/08/2009

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WOW its amazing that so many of us are experiencing the same things with the trust factors, multiple kids, and having no breaks. It helps that their are others out there that understand what we are going through and I also appreciate all the honesty and the help offered.

Ashbi - posted on 10/08/2009

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I have a 3 and a half year old and 14 month old twins. I am a Director of a childcare ,and I have a husband that works 3rd shift that I never spend time with. My husband keeps the twins during the day, so he's cranky all the time. I have no life outside of my family and all my so called friends no longer call me since we have nothing in common. Dont get me wrong, I love my family but I am only 24......WOW! I have never posted anything up here, but that made me feel a little better.

Dhane' - posted on 10/08/2009

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I believe you should talk to your husband....Let him know how you feel because if you are stressed and unhappy so are the kids and eventually the husband. We as women hold the house together and it's a must that we aren't stressed about things that can be fixed ...Good luck

Amanda - posted on 10/08/2009

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Its very hard. I am 20 and have a 4 month old baby boy. I work part time when a sister can babysit. My husband works full time and is trying to get a promotion, but we don't make nearly the money we need to. I get yelled at whenever I go out with my work friends (once a week). I am home all the time cooking, cleaning, etc. And starting wednesday I can't work because we are moving, won't have a babysitter, and I can't drive. So I only see it getting harder.

Mimie - posted on 10/08/2009

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Pity you...... There is a little advice for you and i hope it suite you because practically it works on my daily routine. I'm a working mother with 4 children around. During weekend i will prepared all our favourite food and make it frozen (easier to heat it before you serve it at night or etc). As for young children they like so much to chew so prepare something that makes them quite but eat something healthy example bread, pudding and etc or for easiet way buy lots of fruit. For the dirty clothes wash it every 2 days. N don't forget to wake up early in the morning so you won't miss a thing on your daily routine. Also make sure u didn't skip your meal because it is very important to have you healthier then the other as your are the candle of your house.... Always be positive with your status and most of all Enjoy! I hope you success.

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i'm at home with two boys 1 and 2 yrs of age.. it def can be tough at times, but so worth it.. rewarding even.. may be easier if you have a good routine through the day and ask your man for help tell him exactly what you need from him.. it will be ok

Le'Andrea - posted on 10/08/2009

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I know exactly what you mean!!! I'm not married yet (engaged) and I have a hree year old and a one year old.... I go to school work full time and I had to find time for me and him on the wekend so we could still keep the spark!!!

Lesha - posted on 10/08/2009

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I am right there with you. I only work 2-3 days a week then spend the rest of the days with my 1 year old son. It is so hard to get things done because when is is behaved I want to play with him then when he is fussy I have to find a way to make him happy. then when I get him down for nap i need a bit of me time. so I get a few things done before my husband gets home. then when he gets home if something isn't done that he thought should be done i get the "Why isn't the Kitchen clean? etc"

I never have girl time with my friends any more and it seems that every time something happens to my son it is my fault even if I am not around. It is very hard to balance it all out to make everyone happy. I have started to realize that it is not possible to make everyone happy.

Tasha - posted on 10/08/2009

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its hard, very hard i must say, i just turned 29 and i dont remember the last time my fiance and i were able to go out on a "date" or just out with friends. my fiancee has two daughters from a previous relationship and i have twin boys from a previous relationship, and there's a chance i'm expecting now. the kids are 3,4 (the twins) and 5. i work from home and the kids are all in daycare with the execption of the 5 yr old who is in public school. i know that times are very hard and and your probably wanting to pull your hair out lol, but the best thing i've found is to just stay organized. i try to make sure all house work is done after the kids go to bed or either wake up early so that during the day (and on my off days) i dont have to worry about cleaning and my attention can be on the kids and my fiancee when he's home early ( he works 1-10 pm m-f). if the household is in order then we can always go to the park or something. we are both starting school this december taking morning classes hoping that doesnt drive us nuts with planning a wedding for september lol.



i guess my main thing was organization is the only thing that really helps so that your free to do other things. just dont over do it by trying to be over ummmm cant think of the word, but dont over do it with trying to be organized! hope that helped lol.

Leslie - posted on 10/08/2009

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Oh! And housework? Tidy is good enough for me. Nobody would really want to lick my floors, but things are picked up. I just chuckle when I have dustbunnies hanging out when people pop by; I pass them off as beloved family pets. If you can't laugh at stuff like that you're in trouble. Parenthood is a bear without humor.

Leslie - posted on 10/08/2009

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It is hard. Raising a child and maintaining a marriage/relationship is very hard work, but time changes things and I wouldn't say things get easier, but they change. Hang in there! I am a pastor's wife and have a lot of added stress that comes with that, but my sanity comes from my faith in God and His provision of friends. I stay at home with my little guy and have been truly blessed to have made some great mom friends who come to my house every Tuesday morning. It is valuable lady time and our kids are all around the same age, so they get some great social/play time. We are a support for one-another and try to help each other out when we can. Recently my husband (who already works full time as a pastor and part-time as a sub for our school district) is in his first year of his Master's program and he leaves once a semester for a week-long intensive....if it wasn't for my mommy friends that I've made since moving a year ago I might have tossed my little guy in the closet a few times. (J/K. I wouldn't really do it, but don't we all hit our very last shred of good mommy-ness every once in awhile?) Do you have any friends who you can chat with? On the phone or in person? Anyone with a child close enough in age to have a playdate/mommy chat time? Also, my mommy moment that I give myself is my cup of tea. When my son and the baby I watch go down for their naps I brew myself a special cup of tea to sit and enjoy. Blessings!

Carissa - posted on 10/08/2009

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It can be very hard I have became a SAHM at 17 I had 4 boys by the time I was 24 my hubby worked an hour and a half drive away he was gone from 5am til sometimes 10pm and when he got home all he wanted to do was sleep. We lived in the country I had no friends or family close and just cried all the time. Eventually I put my foot down and we moved back to the city, closer to family and friends and it wasn't so bad. As my boys got older though I found it harder to control them and they were just walking all over me. As much as I loved them I realized I needed a break. So hubby quit his job and I found one and he became the SAHD while I worked and he was brilliant at it, he loved it. The kids loved it and I was happy again too. We did this for about 4 years when we decided to try one last time to have a girl. I finally fell pregnant and he went back to work and I became the SAHM but it wasn't easy, my little girl was a nightmare for the first 5 months, I got PND and everything else. But now she is 7 months and she is great we still have ups and downs but I am now 30 hubby is 32 and over 15 years of being together we have learnt to talk to each other when we need to and not take each other for granted, and just because something is easy for one doesn't mean it is easy for the other. Hope this helps

Nicole - posted on 10/08/2009

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My son just turned 2. I have another boy that will be here in a month. I am not full time, but I work 30 hours a week. Let me tell you girl...I am STRESSED! It helps that I work when my husband isn't. I also put my son in daycare twice a week so I can atleast have the mornings to myself. The most important thing that I do is go get a pedicure or sit at starbucks with a great cup of coffee. Just taking some me time, you know what I mean. It really helps me relax. I love my husband and I love my son, but nothing can beat that few minutes of me time. My husband helps and that is a blessing. Just tell your man it's time for you to take some alone time and go somewhere. Somtime I go to Wal Mart to do my shopping and I make him stay at home with our son. Even this helps...Not having to take him while I shop. Good luck

Billie-Ann - posted on 10/08/2009

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Quoting Cassie:



Quoting Kristi:

Yes It's very hard, my son is almost 10 months old,I can't drive and my husband works 40 hrs and goes to school 20 hrs..So on top of having to keep the baby happy, the house clean, I've got to keep him in order which i am finding difficult especally when he likes to throw the I make the money what do you do all day line in my face ..when I have to remind him that this is what HE wanted...he does not do it all the time..just when it is crunch time at school and it's critical week at work..that is the worst.. But i rely on god knowing that the path we are on is the one he wants for my family. I also agree with the post above mine..it is also important to get time together even if it is only a few hrs alone and a family member or someone to watch the baby for you. I find taking a bubble bath when my son is napping relaxing..or sometimes I even take him in the bathroom and we watch a movie..that is my escape..the bathroom lol.





 






I get this ALL THE TIME! "especally when he likes to throw the I make the money what do you do all day line in my face" My husband has two jobs, works around 70 hours a week and has two college classes a week. Yet I am cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, taking care of my daughter and making sure my husband gets food, wakes up on time, have the house quiet when my husband sleeps. It's all very hard keeping my husband and daughter an dhouse together and to have my husband say to me "I work all the time and you just sit around the house all day." ARE YOU SERIOUS! This starts a lot of fights in my house. How do you deal with it?  What do you say to your husband when he throws that in your face?





My husband started pulling that line with me... So one day i got up got dressed and told him i was going to the store and to watch our daughter while we were gone.  i took a good 4 hours away from both of them... i came home and she was screaming b/c she was tired and ready for a nap but she fights sleep.  he apologized and has NEVER said anything to me about what i do during the day.  i stopped cleaning too.  i started leaving stuff everywhere like he use to and one day we had it out about the housework and he hasn't said anything about that either.  i may sound horribel to some people but it got me what i wanted... a husband that helps me out and does things around the house.  i have learned that when it comes to getting what i want i have to play mean and dirty and give him a taste of what i go through everyday while he is at his "job"  that is oh sooooo hard... LOL.  b/c they just dont get it.  i mean i love my husband but he is completely clueless most of the time.

Jessica - posted on 10/08/2009

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One thing that you should keep in my mind is baby comes first!!!! It flows better when you have a routine. I have two kids and one on the way and my boyfriend has 2 kids. Having a bedtime for them makes time for you and your man. Also make sure he helps around the house after work. No just one should be responsible for all the chores. I am a divorced 26 year old, who has not had it easy. But along the way i have learned that routine and team work is the best way to make a family work!!!

Jessica - posted on 10/08/2009

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It is really hard to juggle being a mom and a wife. I cannot work because one of my children has a problem with their immune system and gets sick often. I am not able to go many places because I don't have a sitter who can take care of her while she is sick. Which is about 9 months out of the year. My husband woks from 7am to 5pm monday through friday. So that leaves most everything up to me. It's hard sometimes but I have a huge feeling of accomplishment at the end of the day when I know I survived yet another crazy day. At the end of a long day just think about what you have accomplished. It really helps.

LISA - posted on 10/08/2009

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my kids r 10, 7, 4 and 2 mnths. the key is to b organised! it soooo helps!!!! good luck xxx

Carolann - posted on 10/08/2009

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i think its hard for everyone, they wont admit it but im sure its true, im 22 and had a little girl 7 weeks ago and finding it amazingly hard not looking after my little one but keeping the relationship fresh.

ya seem to neglect each other as the need is far more greater in a little baby

Hayley - posted on 10/08/2009

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I'm the same. I have a 11 month old daughter and my fiance works alot of hours, it's as if I'm a single mum. I have also just started college 2 days a week and I am so busy trying to keep the household running aswell.



I find it really good to speak to other young mums around my area, go to mother and baby groups etc. Everything will work itself out! Good luck keep your head up x

Jennifer - posted on 10/08/2009

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I am not a SAHM, but I wanted to share my story. I got married in May. I had no children, but my husband has 2 and we have full custody of the 1. My husband just graduated with is degree in IT, but no programming and can not find a job. I have supported the three of us for 5 months now. We made the deal that he would take care of the house and I would work. It went well for the first month, but lately I come home and he's played WII all day or watched movies. He used to discuss his ex with me and how she stayed home with the children and never got any cleaning done and would expect him to help around the house after working 2 full time jobs. We have had a couple "arguments" about our situation, we both felt unappreciated, he felt it, because when we talk alot of it is "did you remember to do this?" "can you do this for me?" and I felt unappreciated, because sometimes I feel that he forgets I'm working and trying to support three people on my income, I'm paying my mortgage, feeding two extra people, paying for clarinet lessons, school clothes, family activities, two cell phones, etc, when before it was just me!! HE FINALLY ADMITTED BEING THE ONE THAT STAYS HOME IS JUST AS HARD AS BEING THE ONE WORKING!!!! We are now working on telling each other what we appreciate that the other did daily. I am trying to help more around the house and he understands there will days where when I come home I need to be left alone and pampered. You and your partner need to sit down and talk. Make a list of what all you do compared to what he does. He might not realize what all goes into taking care of a baby and the house. Keep a diary of what you do. My husband can not believe everything that needs done during the day and how he has to rush to get everything fit in!! I hope for everyone that is a SAHM that their husbands one day have to be SAHD and realize how valuable you all are.

Jenny - posted on 10/08/2009

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i understand i'm 25 yrs old with two kids that are 1yr and 2months i feel all over the place but you man really needs to help out even if he helps by taking care of theb kids while you clean or even help out with the cleaning i know it really helps me and every now and then he has a day off he looks after the kids and gives me time to myself like to have a relaxing bath or go out bymyself for a couple of hours. hang in there it will get better over time :)

Jenn - posted on 10/08/2009

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I am 27 and I have 5 kids in the house! Three step- teens, my 7 yr old and my almost 2yr old!! I have a 6 bedroom house and sometimes I feel I can't take it anymore!!! I feel alone sometimes then my husband comes home cooks dinner and cleans the kitchen and life is good again. It's super important and helpful for you bf or husband to help. Just becaus ehe works doesn't mean he can't help YOU! its gotta be TEAMWORK!!!

Jessica - posted on 10/08/2009

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My son is 5 months old and it seems like my husband is always at work. We got pregnant shortly befor or during our honeymoon we never had that time to just relax and spend time together stress free.......we made it through the first year even with a baby there are a few things that i think helped along the way 1. people say get a hobby... well it's true if you can find something you love to do during the day when the man is at work and the kids are occupied it'll make a huge difference 2. you need need need to have a date night weather you can find a babysitter or put the kids to bed early it's very important. 3.believe it or not drinking the required amount of water and a healthier diet can make HUGE HUGE HUGE differences you have more stamina and patience mentally more stable......I hope that helps a little bit and good luck in the future =)

Adrean - posted on 10/08/2009

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ALL THE LADIES ARE NOT ALONE!!! I find myself reminding my wonderful hubby that WE agreed to have kids and WE agreed I would be a stay-at-home mom. The stay at home part is my job, his is a go to the office job; when he gets home, I really expect him to shoulder the responsibility of parenting. However, I don't always get it. I would suggest that you have a non-confrontational chat with hubby and come to some aggreement; at the very least, let him know how you feel!

Andrea - posted on 10/08/2009

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i know excatly how u feel i have a 9 month old, husband, and part time job....... but like all the ladies have said i wouldnt trade in my hectic... at mtimes its really hard but i either put music on or write.... itd be nice to have some friends with children to talk to where i live but im the only one in my friend group tht has a child. keep your head up and just think of the joy ur lil one brings

Jocelyn - posted on 10/08/2009

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It's VERY HARD! I'm a 30 yr old Mom of 2 ..A1 0 year old Girl and an 8 year old boy...I've been married 12 years!! I'm also a SAHM...Bottom line... We love our Hubbies...But they are Jerks who just don't get what we do!! They never will.But they will never try to do Our jobs either..and it is a JOB....Just keep your head up and Learn to ignore the little things! :0)

Lorraine - posted on 10/08/2009

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I have a 9 month old, a full time job and my partner also works full-time. someone gots to pay the mortagae. its tuff sometimes but u jus have to do it. it will be worth it when there a bit older. you will have more time 2 urself. i hope to go back to education at nights next year so ill be busyy. its worth it in the end. i think

Laura - posted on 10/07/2009

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im a new mom and a housewife/ homemaker and there are days i want to put my head threw a wall i couldn't imagin working on top off this!

Brooke - posted on 10/07/2009

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There are some days when it's hard but overall I love love love being at home. However, I do work one sometimes two 6hr. shifts a week at my job and that helps. My advice to you if you aren't working is to take AT LEAST one day a week and do something fun whether it's with your bf or with the girls! That is soooooooo important. My husband and I always make sure that I get one day a week to just have fun whether it's together or it's me going out with the girls! =)

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