Has any other mom lost friends after giving birth?

Andrea - posted on 10/26/2013 ( 6 moms have responded )

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I'm 28 yrs old, and before and even when i was pregnant my friends were there for me. Even threw me a mini surprise baby shower for me. But after I gave birth I haven't seen my friends as much. Like maybe twice and that's it. I don't even get text or calls anymore. I feel like they don't like my fiance, or where I live now. (I moved in with him after a month after giving birth). My son is about 9 months now and I feel like I have no friends at all. My sisters friends say I can talk to them but I feel as if its a pity you know. And even another girl I know has a kid and i dont hear anything from her as well. I try and I feel as if no one is making a effort. My fiance has his friends he goes out and Im home. I say I need a break but where can I go? and with who?. I can go outside for a walk but its the companionship of another female to talk to that my fiance won't understand. lol. I honesty feel lonely sometimes. I hate this feeling. My son keeps me company but he can't understand anything Im saying. So has any other mothers out there experienced this?. and why does this happen?.

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Kenesha - posted on 11/02/2013

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I didn't even give birth yet, im pregnant now but my husband got custody of his son when he was 4 months old, even since then I have like no friends. they are mad cause you cant go party, cant do things on their time, cant stay up late. they were never true friends if they cannot be there for you, that's how I look at it anyways.

Seairra - posted on 10/31/2013

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It happened to me too I'm 18 and I just had my daughter 2 months ago and I never talk to anyone anymore I didn't have many friends before due to the fact that I just moved to Tennessee but the friends that I did have never speak to me anymore were all on different pages of our lives right now so I get bored to some times and I feel bad because I love my daughter more then anything I just wish my friends would drop by sometime to visit or call some times to talk

Enna - posted on 10/31/2013

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Yes, this is very common. I still have a couple of friends that I talk to from before I had kids, but not many. When you have friends with no kids they don't understand. When you have friends that do have kids, they are crazy busy just like you are, and it's hard to find time together. I have found that the best way to make friends is to find people with kids the same age as your child. It gets easier as they get older because the kids start preschool and school. Then you have dance class, soccer, girls scouts, etc. You will find new friends, and eventually some of your friends will come back. Having a baby is the hardest time. Hang in there.

Krystal Nicole - posted on 10/29/2013

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Honestly , yes it's very common. I have a 2 year old . I talk to him more then anyone . It just happens baby's are a lot of work and very time consuming and if your friends don't have a baby they don't understand or probably have the patience to hang out with one that does . They still love you but your priorities are different . I don't think I've talked to more than 1 friend since I was pregnant and had my sweet baby . But I found joy in being able to put everything I had for my child and all my time they grow up to fast . But Mabi do a Gymboree class with other moms to meet new people with the same priorities

Amanda - posted on 10/29/2013

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I went through a very similar situation as Jacklyn and you as well. I was 19 when I had my son and my friends thought it was the greatest thing but we soon drifted apart. I had a baby and they were being typical teenage, college students. I was so depressed that I actually holed up in my house (with the exception of getting groceries and going to the pediatrician) for months. Pity party for 1! I'm not sure why it happens but I suppose it has to do with being the first one to have a kid out of your circle of friends. I'm sorry that you feel alone right now, I know what that's like. Are there any mom groups nearby you could join?

Jacklyn - posted on 10/27/2013

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Hey Andrea,

I can definitely relate. I had my first child when I was 19yrs old, and my group of high school friends were there throughout the pregnancy and for the first year of motherhood. But after, it seemed that the connections were slowly fading away, and now at the age of 27 I only have 2 friends that have always been there for me. I was hurt at first because it can feel so sudden and confusing as to why people would just disappear from your life. It took some time but I came to realize that my lifestyle as a mother wasn't the issue. The true issue was their inability to accept change and they somehow felt that they can no longer relate, and that is not the quality of a true friend. I can also relate to being lonely. I moved away from my friends, family and home state to somewhere new, and I completely felt trapped at home. I didn't and still haven't made any new friends, and although my husband tries to listen and understand my female quirks, there is nothing like having an actual female friend around who understands you. Now I am a stay at home with 2yr old twin girls, and a 7 yr old girl. Although they keep me busy, I still would like to have mommy time and find other moms/women that could relate. I would like to extend the invite for you to stay in touch, because I truly believe motherhood can make you feel a little crazy/overwhelmed sometimes and it helps to just take a break and talk to someone who can relate!

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