Have a baby or not?

Julie - posted on 07/21/2009 ( 10 moms have responded )




I am a 30 year old mother of a 7 year old daughter. I recently got engaged to my boyfriend of five years, he is not the father of my daughter, but might as well be! Over the years we had a few times that I thought I was pregnant and we discussed it throughly. We both were excited about the possibility and a little let down when it didnt happen. However it was for the best as my fiancee has a drinking problem. He is in treatment and is getting so much better.

I want to have a child with him more then I have ever wanted anything else. I am just not sure if its a good idea. Also, I am 30 and my daughter is 7 so I dont really want to wait anymore. I feel like we should just stop trying not to get pregnant and let God handle it!



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Bridget - posted on 08/07/2009




Let God handle it, bc that drinking doesn't need to be around baby if one does pop up, which i'm glad to hear he's getting help but he needs to stick with that program and don't go backwards. good luck!

Debbie - posted on 07/27/2009




Drinking, being pregnant and babies don't mix! I would strongly urge you not to try for a baby if your man drinks! I had a bad experience with that and my baby and me are lucky to be alive today! Also if he has a drinking problem, I would not marry him until he has it under control!

Rhonda - posted on 07/22/2009




yeah I agree that GOD makes that choice for you. when he feels yall are ready and yall are both at that point where a baby will be a blessing for BOTH of yall I'm sure it will happen..and plus usually when your not focused on trying thats when it happens lol

Marta - posted on 07/22/2009




I would say that as long as your daughter is comfortable with the idea and your fiancee is on the road to recovery and hasn't had a slip up yet and you are confident then go for it! Birth Control can take time to wear off depending on the form you used so give it time. You're only 30 so if you have to wait a little longer it's not that big of a deal especially since the norm these days is to wait until you're 30 some to have your first. I would say let go and let God.

Samantha - posted on 07/21/2009




I think a good question to ask yourselft is... do YOU feel it is a good idea to bring another child into the world knowing that your finacee has a drinking problem? I understand he is in treatment and that is GREAT, but is it a possibility that you could wait until he is done with teatment? Otherwise there is that chance that he could relapse and you wouldn't have the support you would need from him to care for the baby when you need a break. Just something to think about. In the end, God knows what's best!

Allison - posted on 07/21/2009




My husband of 9 years had a drinking problem as well. It was so bad.. God finally answered our prayers and he has been sober for 10 months. We have never been happier!! AA and Al-Anon is a great program for recovering and for the family as well.

Kayleigh - posted on 07/21/2009




Talk to your daughter as she will be part of this family to and need to make sure he wont feel left out etc then I would wait for your fiance's treatment for the drinking to be finished and make sure he is fully recovered before brinign a baby into the world but a baby may also open his eyes and make him realise the drinking has to stop!!

Ryan - posted on 07/21/2009




its really up to god whether u try to prevent it or make it happen you know so if u want stop trying to prevent it but if you still have doubt i would keep the prevention going because you don't want something bad to come of it for you your daughter or a child that could be brought into the world

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