Have any of your kids hit the "I hate you" stage?

Jd - posted on 05/04/2009 ( 2 moms have responded )




My son is 7 and has just hit the "I hate you" stage.

He gets more in life then I ever did, He has a wonderful chance to a better education and Pets and Video games and toys and even some TV sometimes.

Basicly he has everything I never had.

GRANTED life isnt perfect as it never is but still pretty good.

I am at home with the kids all the time and He has alot going for him in life.

I was just wondering if anyone elses kids had this problem too.

I kinda assume someone has.. how did you cope and help them cope?


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Jd - posted on 05/07/2009




Thats great!

No i dont think that it will be as simple as his dad and I have been seperated for years and the reason i get from nate is cuz he just wants to live with his daddy cuz he doesnt make him (insert something).

Rachel - posted on 05/05/2009




Hi Jd, my son is 8 now and he started this at 7 as well but has finally stopped saying it....Thank God...lol. It was extremly hard for the first few times that he said it because i actualy felt a few times that he actually ment it. I got to the point that every time he said i hate you i would just turn around and say that's ok mate because i love you now and forever and he would get so frustrated with me because i was'nt telling him that i hated him. I actually asked him one day why do you hate me, he turned around and said becasuse i dont like your rules (lol)and my friends said that it's ok to hate people. Then it hit me he was only saying that he hated me because his friends told him he could and that it was cool to hate. So once i had gotten to the reason behind why he was saying it, i explained that hate is a very strong word that means that you want someone dead and that he should'nt use it because it's not nice to wish someone dead. He was shocked and then he started to cry i dont want you to die mummy, i told him, i know that mate you were only saying it because you thought it was the cool thing to do but now that you know that it's not very nice at all your not going to say it to anyone again are you? He has never said it to anyone since then he now says i really dont like you right now mum but i still love you but i would like to be left alone for a while to think about things, and i'm happy with that as he is a very loving little boy and only ever takes 5 min to get over it and then he's back giving me big hugs and kisses.

I would sit down with him the next time he says it and say to him thats ok mate because i love you now and forever and then ask him why he hates you because it might be as simple as one of the kids at school has said it to him and it made him feel bad so he thought he'd give it a go and c if it works for him. If he gets a reaction like i know i reacted the first time by getting all upset and starting to cry he might just keep doing it, so my advice to you as someone who has been through it is to be patient and explain the real meaning behind the word hate and tell him that it's not ok to hate but that it is ok to dislike someone because not everyone is going to like you and your not going to like everyone you meet. This worked for my son but it took quite a few months before he really understood what i was trying to teach him but we got there in the end and he's been a completely different kid since then. As i said this worked for me and my son however every kid is different so i wish you all the luck in the world in getting through this hard time with your son and i hope i helped a little.

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