Having a second baby

Hannah - posted on 03/12/2013 ( 13 moms have responded )

28

1

1

When did you have your second baby? What was the age difference between your kids? My daughter is just now 12 months old and my husband wants to start trying in June. I want to keep our kids pretty close in age but part of me is wondering if it will be too much to have another one so soon. Thoughts? Thanks ladies.

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Lindsay - posted on 03/17/2013

8

1

2

My kids are 4 years apart.. Some may think that too far apart but for me its great! My 4 year old is so helpful and pass the point of regressing with a new baby around. She also attends preschool which gives me some time to bond with her brother one on one. What is most important is that you are ready, and if youre not, wait.

Shannon - posted on 03/19/2013

55

13

3

Hi there. I have 2 girls who are about 2 years and 8 months apart and I love their age difference! I had difficult pregnancies with both, but while pregnant with #2, I was on modified bed rest due to having a complete placenta previa. My daughter was already 2, so she was old enough to understand enough when I wasn't feeling well and would snuggle in bed with me. She was fully potty trained and in a big girl bed months before #2 was born. This made me actually miss having a baby, so I thoroughly enjoyed when #2 was born. We had a nice break from bottles, pacis, and baby gear before #2 was born. My daughter was in preschool 3 mornings/week, so I enjoyed time at home with baby sis. I also loved that big sis was old enough to help out. She was capable of putting paci in baby's mouth, giving her toys, etc. Now, they are 4 and 21 months and are having a ball together! Good luck!

Mary - posted on 03/18/2013

8

0

0

Hi. My 2 girls are 15 months apart. I love them both dearly but I do find it can be frustrating. My oldest - 2yrs old - is potty training & my youngest also wants to go potty. So find myself running with bot, put the oldest on the potty 1st, the youngest on the other potty. Sit with them both. The oldest is almost finished with the training part but my youngest just sits there & nothing. Its fine when we are just playing but when m cooking supper, for instance, it can be frustrating.
Yours will be about 2 yrs apart which is what I actually wanted - the pill failed me (lol). So less drama when the oldest is doing something a little 2 advanced for the youngest.
That being said, there is fun to be had now. They can play most things together & its a little less stressful. But I wouldn't do it again. Not so close.
If u r not ready, just tell ur husband. But I personally think a 2 year age gap is best. (My opinion.)

Lisa - posted on 03/16/2013

56

4

1

From a mom of 2, thinking about having a third, there will always be worries about it being the right time. Mine are 14 months apart, now 3 and 4 years old. (The second was a surprise and I certainly was worried about being able to handle two so close in age!) Even if I get pregnant now, they will be 4 and 5 by the time the next arrives and I'm worried about being tied down to a sleep schedule with two active kids. I have honestly loved having mine so close together. It won't be exactly the same for you since yours would be closer to 24 months apart, but I was still tied down to a very strict food/sleep schedule with the oldest when the youngest was born. Since they are so close in age, I never really found myself telling my youngest she couldn't do something my oldest was doing which made things much easier. Honestly, I wish I had the financial resources to have the third within 2 years of the second, but I'm not going to let little worries stop us from having the family we want. It will take some adjusting but we will learn to be active around the new baby's schedule!

Liz - posted on 03/12/2013

189

0

59

I am currently pregnant with baby #5, and my oldest will be 6 1/2 when I have this one. My kids are: 19 months apart, 16 months apart, 18 months apart, and this one will be 26 months younger than my last. It can be crazy at times, but so can life with just one! None of my kids were really planned, so we just kind of dealt with it as they came. Since you are talking about planning for the next one, I think you should take into consideration what your goals are for your first. Do you want her to be potty trained? Sleeping in a big girl bed? Of course, you can't be 100% sure that she will have any of these things mastered at any certain time, but I think they are things to think about. It can be difficult to potty train a toddler when you have a newborn to feed every time you turn around (or so it seems!). It all depends on how much stress you can handle.

13 Comments

View replies by

Hannah - posted on 03/19/2013

28

1

1

Haha! Cloth diapers are intimidating at the start for sure. We got a few packs of newborn diapers for the early days because I knew I wouldn't be wanting to use cloth right away. After that yeah it took awhile to get used to them. But they rock.

Angie - posted on 03/19/2013

72

0

2

I wanted to do cloth diapers (still have some in a closet!) and I never did it. Scared, I guess! The first one ended up being a c-section and things didn't go quite as we had planned and it just seemed easier to do disposables.

It's funny, when you have more than one in diapers, they always seem to go at the same time! The potty training, my husband always thinks I should train them sooner because other people do. But I can't tell you how nice it is to have them say, 'I don't want to wear diapers anymore.' and we do it. Two kids, both right around age 3 and they 'train' with no problems or accidents! I tried the naked method or setting a timer and constantly putting them on the toilet and it would never fail, they would have an accident just before the timer went off, no matter what intervals I tried!

I'm a stay at home mom, too. So happy and fortunate to have that opportunity!

Hannah - posted on 03/19/2013

28

1

1

Lisa,

Thanks for you encouragement. I suppose there has always been this kind of concern for mothers. My mom had us all about two years apart (there are three of us) and she told me 3 might be a better age gap. Haha. But for some reason I've always thought two years was a great number. I don't want to space it out much more than that. I like having them close together.

Hannah - posted on 03/19/2013

28

1

1

Lindsay,
Thanks for your comment. It must be so nice to have that age gap. :) I wish I had the patience to wait that long between babies..

Hannah - posted on 03/19/2013

28

1

1

Mary -
I can imagine it does get frustrating at times. Especially when the little one wants to do the same thing as the older one. I think by June I will be ready. Thankfully I have an awesome husband who will understand if I'm not. :)

Hannah - posted on 03/19/2013

28

1

1

Angie, yes I am a stay at home mom. I wouldn't dream of putting my daughter (or any future kids) in daycare. It's simply too expensive and I would rather be home anyway. Thank you for all your encouragement. You seem to have the same attitude as myself. I feel like maybe right now it's a little scary because it's an unknown. But I know if I did get pregnant I would be thrilled. Not to mention it's a few months away still and by then I may be more ready. Regarding potty training.. I've heard it said that it's best to let the kid decide when they are ready. It makes total sense to me. Otherwise it will just be a battle. Our daughter is so easy. She slept good from the start. She's very happy most of the time. We've been blessed with her big time. I'm also the youngest of three and we are all spaced around 2 yrs apart. I always felt like my parents did a great job and I never felt alone either. :) Oh my goodness.. three in diapers must have been quite a task! Did you do cloth diapers or disposables? We use cloth and it's really nice to not have to buy them.
Thanks again!

Angie - posted on 03/19/2013

72

0

2

I have three kids. The first two are 15 months apart and the last one is 21 months from the second. The crazy thing is, you never know what they're going to be like! My first has always been very driven and pretty independent, slept well, was walking by the time she was 1 year old. My second, not so much! She could walk, but didn't until she was 17 months old, she didn't sleep well, just very different. It was a classic case of 'if my second child had been my first....there wouldn't be a second!' or at least not so soon! My third seemed so easy, but that may be because he's my third and I'm getting better at this whole Mommy thing!

I remember when #2 was close to being born, I started wondering if I had made a mistake because it wasn't just going to be the two of us anymore. I wondered if I was some how doing wrong by my first child because she wasn't going to have her parents all to herself anymore. But honestly, I'm the youngest of three, I've never known what it was like to have parents all to yourself and I never felt like I was missing something. And it hasn't been a problem. You find ways to do things one on one still. Even with my third, this year the oldest is going to be in kindergarten and the second is going to be in pre-school. So even we will have one on one time. It all works out!

I love having them close together. There are some hurdles, but nothing you can't overcome. Some mentioned potty training - I let them decide when they are ready and it goes so easily then! I quickly learned that trying to mop and clean up accidents while taking care of another toddler is tough! So I would let them try if they wanted, but either they were ready or they weren't. Are you a stay at home mom? Because two little ones in day care could be expensive. Also, I had three in diapers at once (for about 3 months)! At the end of the day, whether you have a dream baby or one that is a bit more challenging, you will get through it and be ready for more before you know it!

Hannah - posted on 03/12/2013

28

1

1

Wow! You go momma. That must be so hard at times. I have always been attracted to children being closer in age. I would rather have kids now while I'm young and have lots of energy than wait. You bring up a good point about considering what goals I would like for my daughter. That is something I will have to think about. I would like to think I can handle stress well, but I'm not sure if that is exactly the case here. I guess having kids is a crazy ride and we can't have it all planned out. Thanks for your encouragement.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms