Having issues with a stubborn baby daddy , help?!

Lee - posted on 06/06/2012 ( 3 moms have responded )

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I'm currently an at home mom single parent to a 9 year old but also dealing with the father of my child now and then. I'm expecting soon so I need some help through government assistant until I can start working again.

My 9year old son was living with his father for about three month and he couldn't receive any assistant from the government to help my son, because my son was staying with me before living with his dad and I was receiving assistant with food. The rule after getting off assistance is that they let you receive it still after 4month so you can survive until you find another source to help you provide. The father of my child thought I wasn't trying to work with him, and that I was doing things on purpose when clearly I cancelled receiving benefits from the government before my son moved in with his dad.

So now that my 9year old son is living with me and since I'm expecting soon I cant currently work, I need government assistance to help me get by for him and my newborn. The office said that the case is still open on his fathers end and the father needs to call his worker to say that his son doesn't stay with him anymore, or have a court document stating that my son is living with me, which is not possible because me and his dad don't do things through court, we do it through mutual agreement, (or If anyone knows a way to go to a court and receive something stating legally that he is staying with me please let me know and no not visitation rights or anything like that just a way to get a document stating he stays with me now). The father is very stubborn and now I can't receive assistant until he do so, which he refuse, and he considers it revenge.

I was just wondering if anyone ever been through this situation and how did you overcome it? I gave my worker all the documents that he needed to prove that my son with living with me, but that wasn't enough apparently. My worker did advise me that he was going to call the worker of the father of my child, but then later found out he couldn't provide me with that help. I was thinking about claiming fraud on his end because my 9year old son receives medi-cal from his dad, and what I was told by my worker in order to receive medi-cal your case has to be approved. The father of my son is claiming that he isn't receiving any benefits for my son, but I think he can now because of the 4month transitional period on my end is over.

I need suggestions, information, help anything to figure to get through this, hopefully soon because I'm due in 2 month, and I will be needing the medi-cal to pay for the birth of my newborn or it's all coming out of my pocket. Oh by the way, I wasn't born in the Untied States, but I became naturalized, and my naturalization paper was lost during a move and I have to pay almost $400 to receive a copy of it, which i cant afford to get right now and only if I did have this paper I would be able to receive benefits for myself, but without it I don't qualify. HELP and Thanks alot!

3 Comments

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Annonymus - posted on 09/23/2012

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He is going to try your nerves and test your ability to control yourself because in his mind he can. Do not let him, dont give him that control over you. You can beat him... I have severe issues with my child's father too, granted she is only one but I totally understand how it is hard to deal with their garbage... and his gf causes a lot of our problems that we have, for example our lack of communicating without arguing, him not coming around, and his drug use and cigarette use. I do not want my daughter exposed to any of that but he does it "because he can" he does not care! Its hard.

Lee - posted on 06/12/2012

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My sons father and I are not having difficult issues, we agree on most things for our son, I did go to a lawyer not to long ago for a free consultation, and they say in so many words it would be a custody battle, but I think I found a way to get the benefits back. I filled fraud on him, they consider this not reporting changes in the house hold. So, we shall see the final results soon. Thanks!

Rachael - posted on 06/10/2012

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I would say that for the health of you and your baby you need to find a way to get the money together to get your papers, and this time make sure that they are in a super safe place where they don't get lost again. Is there a reason that you and your son's dad seem to be flip flopping with custody? as far as qualifying for benefits if you and your sons dad are having such difficulties with getting along for what is your son's best interest (medical assistance and food stamps/ WIC) then perhaps you should re-think your decision to handle custody outside of a court room. Good luck

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