Hello I was hoping to get some opinions and just vent for a minute I am 22 and have a 11 month old son I am still with my sons father. I found out last night I was pregnant I'm roughly around 4weeks when I came home and told him we need to talk he said no he don't want it he don't want to deal with another child when we r just now getting out of baby stages he don't want to start all over again he also brings up how small our house is and he can't afford another child but yet he won't help me look for another house or attempt to help me in anyway with our situation he just keeps insisting on a abortion that's something I don't want I Kaye's down now I'm willing to step up and take care of my children but I'm scared of losing him and if I did get a abortion I would never b able to forgive him or myself I'm lost and confused

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Zoe - posted on 11/16/2012

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After my ex and i broke up when i was first pregnant he said he'd rather me have and abortion then have my son and raise him without him. I didnt listen and stupid me went back to him, my son is now 4 and i have raised him by myself with the occassional help from family ever since he was 6mths. If you want the baby and he doesnt then listen to your head and your heart. Is it worth being with him and going through an abortion and possibly feeling down in the dumps as i call it. Do you have family or friends who can help you?

Gloria - posted on 11/16/2012

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Wow look at it this way,if he loves u n ur other child he will .A get over n used to it.or.B lose u three.in no way shape or form should it be up to him on the desison because he doesnt know the feeling of a baby growing inside of u nor will he hurt like a women if u get an abortion.plzzz dont do it b the bigger person and U make the desition..

User - posted on 11/16/2012

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If you aren't for the abortion I would tell him straight out and let what happens, happen. Men can sometimes be completely moronic when it comes to pregnancy/contraception. When I told my husband that we were pregnant with our third he said "Well you could still do plan B." This just shows how little he really knows about birth control even after 9 years together! As this was unlanned and we have a 1yo and 3yo we were both pretty upset. Now 4 months into the pregnancy we are both very more settled. A lot of the fears we intitially had have faded with time. What it comes down to is, we were already pregnant, didn't want an abortion and had to move forward with it. I am certainly not proud of it, but I had an abortion when I was 18. Looking back on it I can see it was what was right for us at the time but I still have regrets about it. I know that if you got the abortion for him and you didn't really want to have it, it will affect your relationship for the worse. My advice to you is to look deep into yourself and figure out what you want to do, make the decision and let him react as he may. I know you don't want to lose him but if he would leave you over this there will probably be many other issues that come up in life that he may leave you for down the road. Or he may realize he loves you no matter what and go with the flow. What is meant to be, will be.

Roxi - posted on 11/15/2012

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I'm so sorry you're in this situation, Samantha. No person should have to go through this one. Are you two married? I'm trying to look for ways to say this nicely, but you shouldn't be with someone who is telling you to abort your child, let alone someone who is the father of that child. Abortion for me is a big no-no. It's horrible how people can suggest abortion when they're not the ones who will be going through the process and the trauma afterwards.



I know you're a smart woman and you know what the right thing to do is. Just follow your heart. A child life is irreplaceable.

Jodi - posted on 11/15/2012

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Samantha, whatever you do, do NOT let him pressure you into an abortion if you know for sure that you don't want that in any way, shape or form. That is not fair of him to issue that to you as an ultimatum. Not at all. If he leaves you because you choose not to go down that path, then he doesn't deserve you, and to be honest, you don't want someone who would do that in your life. Don't be scared of losing that. If he chooses to walk away, then you have done the right thing. If he chooses not to, then you have done the right thing.



I can understand you are scared. What sort of support system do you have? Family and friends? Are you close to them? Just remember, that life can throw a lot of curve balls in our way, and you WILL get through this, whether he stays or leaves, but this is your choice, not his.

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