help

Chloe - posted on 05/03/2009 ( 7 moms have responded )

70

13

11

my partner recently walked out and my 3 year old is not handeling it well and neither is my 1 year old i have 11 weeks till i have our next one and im so lost he came ova 2 days afta we split covered in hickies n has a new gf and seems to want nothing to do with the baby as the girls arent biologically his im so lost n scared my daughter hates me help please

7 Comments

View replies by

Karla - posted on 05/05/2009

10

9

0

Be strong Chloe, You need to get yourself together for your kids and be honest to them they will respect you for that. Keep your chin up...God Bless xx

[deleted account]

Your child doesn't hate you she is taking it out on you because she knows you love her 100% no matter what, it doesn't matter how much she misbehaves or kicks off you are always going to be there, when they get emotional and start kicking off hold her as tight as you can until she calms down and feels your love and calm inside. Hope this helps?

Rhiannon - posted on 05/03/2009

230

9

24

I agree with Nicole, stick to the routine and be honest with them when you talk to them about what is going on. And she is right about staying calm. Liz made a point that if he is a real man, he will talk to you about what he is thinking, but honestly I can't say that I see a real man leaving his girlfriend when she is 11 weeks off having their baby!

Remember that you are a stong and wonderful person. Try, for the sake of your soon to arrive baby, to relax and be calm for the last part of your pregnancy. If you have family close by, talk to them. Focus on your own children, find a new gameplan for the impending birth (who will take your other children, who will be with you when you deliver) and realise what a strong and confident woman you are. You can do this, you are a woman!

I know this hasn't been much help on what to actually do about your partner, but all I can tell you is YOU decide. Don't let him tell you what is going to happen, or dictate your feelings and actions. You let him know that you are boss, and you are a wonderful mother and don't fall to his level. Be better than that, like you know you can be!

Sara - posted on 05/03/2009

81

11

13

Sarah Lowe knows what she is saying. When other things get shaky keep as close to a routine as possible, keep other family members involved and whatever you do DO NOT LIE to your children. They trust you and need your support

Sarah - posted on 05/03/2009

149

11

28

I am so sorry for what you are going through right now. It's very important to make sure your girls know how much they are loved. I don't think your daughter hates you. I think that maybe she is confused about what is happening and why he is gone all of a sudden. Remember in "Pursuit of Happyness" when the mom left? And the little boy was worried that it was because of him that she left? Will Smith's character said, "mom left because of mom. it had nothing to do with you. it was her mistake"
I really liked that because it helped him learn that other people make may make choices that hurt them, but it doesn't change their worth. Try to be honest about what is happening while staying on their level of understanding. I agree with Nicole, keep a routine so they feel safe, get a support group somewhere, either with the city or through a group at the library, or a church group you agree with... somehow get people in your lives (if you don't already have them) who will be a positive influence for you and your kids. Let us know how you are doing! We care about you and your girls!

Liz Prettysmilez - posted on 05/03/2009

1

21

0

That's a really complicated situation. But so many of us fail to realize that our relationships affect the kids also. I have been with my fiance for the past 5 years and he is not the biological father of my children, either. But I can honestly say that he accepts them, just the same. Maybe you should just try and have a one on one with him to explain your concerns about the children. If he is a real man, he will also take this into consideration. If he doesn't care, then he doesn't need to be in your children's lives anyway because then you should know that you need to look for a more positive role model for them.

[deleted account]

Chloe, you gotta get yourself together and stay calm for your kids. forget about him for a moment and try an dfocus and work out a gamplan for your girls. do they have a routine? do they have playdates you can bring them to? you can sit them down and explain to them in age appropriate terms what is going on. that "daddy" or whatever they call him still loves them, this is not thier fault, and they will see him soon.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms