help and advice on children with special needs

Emma - posted on 06/10/2009 ( 5 moms have responded )

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hi im emma im 23 got a 4 year old son called michael.

Michael has servear and emotional and behaviour difficulties, speech and language problems, and severe learning difficulties, im finding very hard 2 cope with all his special need and was hopeing there was some 1 out there who has or is in my position that could give me sum advice or tips on how they cope and manage THANK YOU :)

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Marcia - posted on 06/11/2009

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I also do not have a little one with special needs, but I do have a little bit of experience with little ones with specific issues...I would strongly support the advice that everyone has given thus far...try to get as much help as possible - especially free help - as early as possible. Speech language pathologists and psychologists (especially those that are familiar with Michael's particular issues) are really worth their weight in gold - getting your son to communicate well will decrease his frustration which will really help to make other aspects of his life a lot easier. Not too sure where you live, but in our area there are programs where if your child is under school age they will do a free assessment and offer free help...maybe if you mentioned where you were (ex. the area) perhaps someone already knows at least some of the resources in your area. Also, the hospital may have some good information for you regarding programs, government assistance, and the best way of qualifying and fitting things in. You stated Michael is four...will he start kindergarten soon? If so maybe even getting him into a special pre-school program that is designed for transition may help and they can ensure that he is given extra resources when he starts kindergarten.

Good luck and know you are so not alone!

Sabrina - posted on 06/11/2009

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hi i am the mother of three children with a condition called fragile x syndrome. and each one is different in their problems. do as much research as you can and find places in your area that can offer support as soon as possible. the earlier you start the better. i live in florida and they have a program called fiddler. they test the kids to see where they are in developmental age and place them in the program right for them. my kids all qualified for the full time program at age three. they went to ARC. there ae alot of those schools nationwide check if there is one. they are now in ese classses. i have 3 in ST, 2 in OT, and 1 in PT. they do learn sign language in ST but i have also stressed that i want them to teach them the words also. there are times that they use the sign but they will also say the word.



i know that getting time to yourself is hard. i have my husband to help. but there are also times when you want to get away together. i heard of a program that is through the gov. where they send a care taker to take care of your son for a few hours. it is only like once or twice a month but it will give you time to get out for a little while. but if you have family that can help use it.



for out burst time out is good. but also to help prevent them my sons class had a center for emotions. they could go there and expres what ever emotion they wanted. mad, sad, or just to be alone. but when they wer down they were free to come out anytime and noone was allowed to go there when they were there. hope this help. but if you need to know anything else just ask.

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emotional and behavioural issues need to be seen by a doctor right away. especially if these things impact daily living. look up in your area speech and language pathologists. Since he is four I would consider which school he will be going into and contacting them and see if there are resources to help you before he enters the school system and after as well.



My stepson has severe emotional and behavioural issues and we have found it extremely difficult to find any help.



You did not mention any diagnosis so I would suggest seeing your doctor and finding out if that is possible, if you know what exactly you are working with it is easier to find the resources you need.



With speech issues I would try say sign language, just basic stuff like hungry, tired, potty, drink. That way if you cannot understand what he wants he can "show" you.



Find someone you can turn to when things get too tough, someone who could watch him for a little while so that you can take a quick break or just someone to be there in the room with you.



Ask your doctor for help, if they wont help you find a new doctor that will help.



Once you know more about what is going on it helps a lot.



Find something you can do while taking a break with, reading, watching tv, whatever relaxes you. Even if that means you have to wait till hes asleep it will help you. Another thing to do is look for a support group, somewhere you can go to talk to other parents dealing with the same issues (if you have to you can call up your cities local help desk and ask them, if they cant help you they will certainly ship you off to someone they know can help you)

Amber - posted on 06/11/2009

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I agree with Christy's advice and I too do not have a child with special needs but have worked for a long time with children with special needs as well. Where do you live, because there should be resources available to you to help you.

Christy - posted on 06/11/2009

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I dont have a child with special needs but I work in a facility where I care for children with special needs..have for 7 years. We are trained to obvioulsy have the utmost patients possible with them. I understnad it is very difficult. One thing that helps me is to keep it in my head that whatever they do it is not personal. They are frustrated and are simply trying to tell me something that I am not understanding. It is important and helpful to find something that the child can relate to. I have an autistic child, which also has MMR, that I work closly with and he has a board that shows him everything he is going to do for the day using pictures. He doesn't talk so it is difficult for us to communicate with one another. Pictures allow him to undesrtand what is planned and also allows him to tell me if he wants something. There are pictures of a shower, toys, different food he enjoys, a vehicle incase he wants to go some where. There are pictures of different places around our town that he enjoys going to. If he wanted to go to the park then he will bring me the picture of the park. This has helped him to become less frustrated because he feels that his needs are being met. This has worked for the last 4 years. I had to teach him what each picture meant as well. Show the picture then show him the real thing. That will help correlate it for him.

Also when he does have temper tantrums I am trained to address the problem one time with a "stop that or U will have to go to time out". Then if it continues I am to place him in a time out (a chair or couch) and not respond to his actions what so ever. Make no eye contact and say nothing. If he continues to get up from the chair I am to place him back in the chair again wihtout saying anything or making eye contact. This is the VERY BEST way to adress temper tantrums..at least in my situtaion. It wont hurt to try it with your son. I hope this has been some help for you. Good Luck!!

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