Help!! I'm expecting and need to know my rights vs drunk fathers

Kate - posted on 12/02/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )

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I am 12 weeks trying to make the relationship work with the Dad, but he drinks a LOT daily and tonight in a drunk tangent starting talking legalities, which was disappointing to me because the issue is his drinking and I'm trying to work on that with him cause I care for him and our baby, yet I have been told to give baby my last name. In South Carolina it states mothers have all rights. I just don't know what to do to protect me and my baby if he continues threatening me demanding rights and such when he should be focusing on not drinking and making this work. What advice can anyone please give me per my rights and how to approach this. Thanks!
Concerned , Scared, New mother ;)

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Jamila - posted on 12/03/2013

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All I can offer to you is my own experience. I had a baby with my now ex, he drank all the time. He would get violent and verbally abusive. Even when I tried to stay quite it never worked. I was always in the wrong, even in a drunk rage he kicked my and I thought I was going to lose the baby. Stupidly I stayed, he got drunk when I was in the hospital and came for me hung over. My first day home with the baby he invited all these people over and got dunk and insulted half of them. I was so helpless, I was numb and confused. Once he was drunk and took the baby out of the crib and put him to sleep with us, he was so drunk that he rolled over on my child, my sixth sense woke me up. I could have lost my baby. Sad part it doesn't end there. I stayed two more years, with countless stories I can tell about the abuse and him promising to change. I even pleaded with his parents and went to him to AA meeting but he would never go to rehab or to AA by himself to get real help. It was promise after promise until, I got tired and ran. I went to a shelter and never went back. yea he was mad and threatened me but I wasn't scared anymore. You need to be strong for you and your baby cause from the moment you give birth nothing else matters but the life that depends on you. You don't have to bad talk your baby daddy to ur child but tell them when they are old enough that daddy was too sick to help you. but yea. just agree with him but put the babys last name as yours. he wont understand, he can barely understand the impact his drinking has on you and the baby. no matter what you do, as the mother you are responsible for the babys safety and can be held responsible criminally if any thing happens to your baby.

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