help please

Desirae - posted on 04/07/2013 ( 7 moms have responded )

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How can I get my boyfriend of four years and that I have a child with to stop watching porn? It hurts me to know he is looking at another woman like that, it crushes me.

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Wendi - posted on 04/10/2013

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Porn is not to be taken lightly. Porn is often an escape from reality. A lot of people have turned to it when things are getting stressful. Others like the "feeling" it gives them... No matter the reason, it is very addictive and very destructive. (I know someone who started watching it when they were 8 years old as an escape from life... it has progressed through the years and is now destroying his marriage.) The only way one will stop is if they want to change...to work at it, to be willing to fight the addiction and temptation...to keep you in his life. It is important that you let him know how it makes you feel when he is viewing it. Talking about his reasons for viewing it is a good place to start... he might not even know why he does it. Usually it runs a lot deeper than just wanting to see other women. There are pastors who are willing and able to counsel someone with sex addictions... it probably would be a god idea for you to talk to someone too. They can give you better tools to "fight this battle."

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Ty - posted on 04/17/2013

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He needs to stop. A little porn ok...thats cool...nonstop porn thats an obessesion. I say try talking to him about it, and if he doesn't care how you feel or whatever maybe you guys need to look into counseling. that is not ok.

Tammy - posted on 04/15/2013

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Please don't let it bother you. It's just a form of entertainment. Sick entertainment, but still, some people like it. Your husband probably doesn't even remember their faces. I wouldn't worry about it. He still loves you, doesn't he? He's not cheating on you, is he? No, so don't worry! Maybe he's learning something, eh? :) Have his techniques improved?
If it really bothers you, just tell him if he must watch it, to watch in private and not to tell you about it.

Samantha - posted on 04/15/2013

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There are a lot of people that like porn in general. People masturbate. That's a fact. Its a personal thing, that people in perfectly happy relationships do as well. There isn't any chance he will end up with one of those girls. If he was watching some personal video a girl sent him, then I would worry, but its pretty normal. Watch it with him sometime, just like the other post said. If you don't act as though it disgusts you, then he won't feel like you are disgusted by him. Does that make sense? And it just may make him not feel the need to watch it as much as he wants to look at you. Hope it helps and things get easier.

Desirae - posted on 04/10/2013

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Like ok thank u for the advice I jave talked to him and it not syopping so he just dont have the same beliefs about a relationship s nymore he said .
. Badically je cheats and me feal or we done so guess I will let him do it I been more secrstive and having to find somethon bec I dont get it from him so hopegully he will get jealous anout it and changee his point of view...I hate loving him with sll my he srt sometimes it hurts too baf

Mary - posted on 04/08/2013

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Talk with him, not yell. If it is a new fad of his there must be a reason??talk with him and find out why? If it's different than his norm. Most likely he is looking for an answer to a question he has and if you two don't have good communication, he might feel he can't come to you..

Elly - posted on 04/08/2013

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Don't worry about it... He doesn't mean anything by it really... It's a bloke thing... If u start watching it just watch things change.. :)

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