Help please with monster in law

Jay - posted on 07/09/2013 ( 4 moms have responded )

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Hello everyone, my mother in law is a complete and utter nut job. We havn't spoke in over three years do to an altercation, and recently my husband has came to me saying she's changed and she really wants to see her grandson (We made a deal when our son was born that both parents have to be there when she is due to her being very abusive)

So I relented and this past weekend my husband had to go to the hospital and he let her know and she showed up. I was fine, really polite. When my husband was around she was nice, when he wasn't she was her usual rude self but I ignored it because my husband was in the hospital and I was focusing on him. So the doctor comes in and starts talking to us and she gets huffy because the doctor is talking to my husband and I and ignoring her. So after we find out he needs surgery she decided to leave and asked/demanded I let her know how things are going. I say fine. So I figured I would wait till he was out of surgery so I'd actually know whats going on to call her. Just as we're waiting for him to come to the room she calls the hospital and of course they wont tell her anything over the phone and because I'm the emergency contact so they come get me.

I say hello and right off the bat she starts with I hear he just got out of surgery I wanted to be told WHEN he was going into surgery. So I say oh I guess we had a miscommunication and she goes yes on YOUR part. So calmly I say is this the way you want to handle this? and she flips out on me than hangs up
So I say nothing to my husband, give him a kiss and tell him I'll see him in the morning
She calls AGAIN and DEMANDS to talk to my husband (Who is so groggy from the surgery) and flips out on HIM about how she's not being told anything and what a bitch I am. So he hangs up on HER.

I don't know how much more I can take from her. Any advice?

4 Comments

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Mary - posted on 07/16/2013

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Well Jay, she is his mom, and I guess he just doesn't want to deal with the fact you two are not getting along, regardless of who is hurting the most. Like I said before you have done what you can, there isn't really much else to do or say

Jay - posted on 07/10/2013

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The issue is my husband doesn't deal with it. He just ignores it thinking it will go away.

Cathrine - posted on 07/10/2013

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i also agree with Mary, i think you have done your part, sadly we cannot always win this war with ML's the best is just to ignore her rantings and get on with your life, communicate with her when necessary. as long as you and your hubby are fine then don't worry too much about it.

Mary - posted on 07/10/2013

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I think you are done your part. My mother in law is not on a witch hunt against me, but wanted to tell us all the time how to raise my youngest. I got so overwhelmed I didn't want to see her anymore. It has gotten to the point I speak to her only when neccessary which is really sad because she's a great person but I can't stand her being so bossy abouth my child. I think you being polite and trying to avoid situations that will create more tension is the right thing to do. It seems like your husband sides with you so you should,t worry about it. She will have to see her actions are affecting your relationship as a family and hopefully she'll calm down

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