Help with persistent thoughts of death and suicide?

Lana - posted on 05/06/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )

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I have persistent thoughts of mostly suicide and death. It keeps me up at night and gives me nightmares. When I do sleep I sleep 12 hrs. At times I take a shot, or glass of wine to blur the thoughts. I have recently developed panic attacks where I can't really regulate my breathing pattern. I have always been a worrier and very nervous, but the suicide thoughts have been kicking me daily, hourly, weekly, whatever.. I love my family so it isn't them that are the problem. I don't know what to make of this or even what I am trying to ask. I just need to know what helps? Drugs may cause me to stop nursing. I REALLY don't want that. Any advice? Experience? Anything???

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