Holidays with grandparents

Maranda - posted on 10/27/2014 ( 2 moms have responded )

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First I want to point out Im not complaining I need support.

My MIL brought up plans for Halloween and Thanksgiving recently. A year ago I told her we wernt going to my brother in laws for Halloween anymore, my tire got slashed. I was pregnant last year and was driving home with 2 kids plus one in the oven, when the car detected that my tire was low pressure, so I pulled over to check and there was a very nice slice on the passenger tire.

We did go to the same community we had been going to for years, and had no damage to any of our vehicles.

After my tires were slashed in the community we had not previously gone to my husband and I agreed we would no longer go to my brother in laws.

The kids already have tons of candy this year from a few events we went to this year already, so I told her we were not going to be with them this year. She says Halloween is not about candy, that its about being with family.

Growing up Halloween was always spebt with my parents, my brother and I going trick or treating, not extended family.

As a kid to me Halloween was getting as much candy as I could filling 3 pillow cases full! HaHa.

My In laws see the kids 16 times a month, my parents see the kids 4 or 5 times a month. When I told her my mom has Thanksgiving dinner in the evening, she got upset.

We also go to the church Thanksgiving dinner with my in laws, plus we are going to my in laws the 2nd weekend in November for a get together and dinner. I really dont think its unreasonable for me to say we are spending Thanksgiving day at home for half of the day, and with my parents the second half of the day.

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Chet - posted on 10/27/2014

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Slashed tires it probably a one-off, random thing. I'd consider continuing with the Halloween tradition if it's something the kids enjoy. Halloween really is a "more the merrier" kind of thing, and our kids loved seeing extended family on Halloween when we lived close enough to do it. And even now, they are very keen to be with lots of close friends on Halloween more than to get lots of candy. If the _only_ issue is slashed tires I'd give it another try. Don't let one bad experience stop you from doing something that a lot of people enjoy.

For Thanksgiving, you can only do what you can do. Explain to people what you can handle.

I will add though, that when I don't feel like doing something, and it would be easier to just stay home, I ask myself what the kids are more likely to remember, or where are they likely to have more fun. In ten years will I be glad that we went that thing, or will I be glad that we stayed home.

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