How can I change my boyfriend's mind about having a baby?

RonEtta - posted on 05/06/2010 ( 5 moms have responded )

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When we first started dating, we end up getting pregnant around summer. When we lost the baby, I think it freak him out and we kinda went in a bad turn in our relationship. Now that we're in a great place in our relationship, I wanna try for another baby and I don't wanna wait til I'm thirty to have another baby.

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Rebecca - posted on 05/06/2010

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Sit down and have a heart to heart. Go talk to your Dr before you plan on going forward, they might request you get off work to help the pressure of becoming pregnant and to not lose the baby again. I lost my first baby when i was almost 4 months in and it was devastating for me...i was told i might not be able to have kids so this was a blessing. I was 19yrs old and with my BF for 4yrs and once we lost the baby it broke me. I couldn't look at him in the face anymore and felt i was no good for anyone and for me to take his child away was horrible for me. I carried a lot of guilt and decided 4 months after the miscarriage to leave him. A few months later i met a great guy and i now have 2 kids with him and we have been together for 5yrs. We had a miscarriage when our youngest was 3 months old and at the time i felt horrible again but then i looked at my kids and knew it just wasn't right. Things take time and you both took time to heal and grow together in your relationship and already, that's better then i can say for me when i left my BF...but then i was only 19 and didn't really understand everything i guess.

You know your relationship is in a better place but you both have to sit and understand that it could happen again. It's unlikely, unless you have different blood types then it is more common. My mother had 7 miscarriages before the Dr's discovered her and my father had opposite blood types, so get that looked at as well to see. If you are opposites they will just give you a shot to help prevent miscarriage and things will go smoothly.

So for rambling...i tend to do that sometimes, but i just wanted to say that you did it right by waiting and working at getting your relationship back the way it was.

i wish you luck and happy trying:)

Stella - posted on 05/06/2010

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I do want to ask the same question, what is the rush? I would recommend sitting down with your boyfriend and asking him what he wants and if he wants to try for another one. Guys are affected by miscarriages alot differently than women. Depending on why your relationship went bad, is whether or not if you should try. If you love him and he loves you then you need to sit down and figure out what to do. You both have a lot of say on this!

Alesha - posted on 05/06/2010

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I hate to sound like an old hag but whats the rush? I have a 2 year old son with my fiance and I had 2 miscarriages before the birth of my son and it was HORRIFIC!!! I didn't even want to have sex for a long time and then after that there was a strain on our relationship that made things kinda weird...sounds to me your boyfriend may have not recovered, The main thing like all the women here has been saying is communication. You need to ask him how he feels and if he is ready to have a child. He shouldn't be pressured into having a child before he's ready. Was the pregnancy planned in the first place? He might have just realized that he wasn't so ready to have a child afterall. There is nothing wrong with that...just don't pressure him. You never want a man to be a father out of obligation and not his own choice. My fiance is a great father, doesn't choose his friends or video games over our child and helps out in every possible way from meals to bathtime and works full time. I think this is mainly because HE wanted a child and expressed that to me when he thought I was ready once our relationship repaired from the miscarriages, then we got engaged and are stronger than ever, just work on the two of you first and make sure your on the same page because a child doesn't bring couples together its actually responsible for more breakups than makeups...

Abby - posted on 05/06/2010

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you cant change his mind...he will come around...losing a baby is difficult for both the mother and father...it will take some time but if he wants another baby he'll come around...talk to him and see how come he doesnt want another..communication try to understand it from his view

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RonEtta - posted on 05/07/2010

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We've talk about it and like we both agree that we don't a child right now, but I just wanna know do he want another one period. I'm hoping he will surprise me about having a child. Well at least I know that he is a good father to my daughter. They are getting real close now and I'm happy that.

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