How can I get my 18 Month old to stop pulling on me?

Mary - posted on 09/03/2014 ( 5 moms have responded )

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How can I get my 18 Month old toddler to stop pulling on me? She pulls on me all day long and is hurting my back I tell her no pulling on mommy and she throws a fit and continues to pull on me what can I do to make her stop?

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Chet - posted on 09/04/2014

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She's probably trying to tell you something. How verbal is she? I would try figure out what she's attempting to communicate and give her a better way to do it.

It's often not enough to tell small children not to do something, you need to give them something to do instead. Work to replace the behaviour that's causing issues. You could try "pat mommy" and maybe replace the pulling with patting.

Another technique with toddlers is to circumvent problematic behaviours. Find ways to make the pulling difficult or unlikely. If she's doing it to get your attention, do things together and try to be at the same level as much as possible. If you're cutting vegetables stand her on a chair and have her "wash" carrots. If you're folding laundry do it on the bed and have her sit on the bed and pass you things.

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Tanya - posted on 09/06/2014

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I love what Chet Mc said!!!! I totally agree!!!

My daughter is exactly like yours...she's an only child and she's 16 months...she only wants mommy and to be in mommy's arms...

I don't feel that she is acting out when she's crying and wants to be held 24/7...I do find it frustrating but I would not punish her, I always have her help me in whatever I'm doing because she's just attached.

Sarah - posted on 09/04/2014

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Time outs work really good, but you do need to stick with it. Find a spot away from toys, tv, people, and anything that could become a toy. Make it a defined spot....like a chair a step or a rug. Set a timer for 1 min (1 min. Per age). If she gets up before the 1 min is up then you put her back SAY ING NOTHING and reset the timer for 1 min. At first you may have to do this for HOURS, BUT IF YOU STAY WITH IT SHE WILL STAY FOR THE 1 MIN. THEN YOU HAVE TO BE CONSTANT WITH IT. Don't threaten a time out and then not follow through and don't give a time out and not stitch to the required 1 min. Right now she knows you will give in if she pushes hard enough.....Once you stop giving in she will realize that no matter how many times she gets up you will send her back until she has stayed for 1 min.

Mary - posted on 09/04/2014

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I put her in time out and I spank her but spanking does not work she hits me back so I put her in her room and close the door and tell her to stay in here until I come back in here to get you and she opens up her door and comes out crying so I put her back in her room and she just keeps coming out so I keep putting her back in her room. What' other punishments can I do other than spanking?

Sarah - posted on 09/04/2014

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Put her in time out. She is 18 months and is controlling you. You are the parent if you don't want her pulling on you then tell her to stop and put her in time out if she does not listen. Who cares if she throws a fit......you are going to have a LOT more fits in the next coming years. These are easy fits....but if you let the fits control you then they just get worse as she gets older.....imagine a 16 yr old throwing a fit and controlling you. Set the boundaries, stick to the boundaries, and have consequences when the boundaries are broken.

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