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How can I get my five year old to stop whining?

Jessica - posted on 03/19/2012 ( 9 moms have responded )

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I have a five year old son who whines so much I don't know what to do anymore. He whines more now than he ever did before. I have tried time out, not letting him go places, taking away cartoos and toys. I need advice on what to try next! Thanks

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Sarah - posted on 03/19/2012

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I just say that I am not listening to you whine. If you want to talk to me then you need to do it in a big boy voice. And then I go on with whatever I am doing and I don't respond until it is in a voice I want to hear. Sometimes this means I first get to listen to a tantrum, but they do figure it out and then use a big boy voice.

Starfish - posted on 03/21/2012

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With my kids, whenever they start whining, I cut them off, and tell them that they're free to talk to me when they can express themselves without whining, but until then, I will not listen. And then I either send them to their room, or I leave the room. After a while, they got the idea that it was counter-productive to whine and then have to come back and start over properly, so now, most of the time, they speak properly from the beginning. It took persistence, but it works.

Kansas - posted on 03/21/2012

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I whined a lot as a kid and so did my daughter around that age, even when we were asking for normal things or just speaking it was done in a whiney voice. What my father did for me and what I in turn did for my daughter was to say: "I'm sorry, I can't understand you in that tone." Very calmly and patiently. Say it over and over again until his voice is in a normal pitch and range. I did the same thing if she was whining about something or if she was just using a whiny voice to speak. It worked wonders on me and on my daughter. Took only about 3 months and her whine was gone. Even now that she's 9 I still do the same thing if she starts whining or pouting about something, except now I only have to say that phrase once, and she'll clear her throat and try again!

Anna - posted on 03/20/2012

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Usually my kids are whining when they want attention from me. Usually it helps to talk to them - explain the situation, say that I understand she is upset, but now she can´t get what she wants. Many times it helps. But sometimes, of course, it doesn´t.

Rachael - posted on 03/19/2012

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I tell my 2 year old that the only wine allowed in our house is the kind that comes in a bottle (I am not a big drinker but I like going wine tasting about 1-2 times a year) he looks at me like I have 2 heads, but usually stops in his tracks. I also stop the whining by tickling him or chasing him. or just flat out ignoring him. I NEVER give him what he is whining for.

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Carolyn - posted on 07/02/2012

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I have no recollection of my 5 year old son ever not whining, when I ask him to speak in his big boy voice he whines that he doesn't know how. I joke that he only has 2 sounds because when he is not whining he is yelling or screaming. I wonder if this is just the way his voice is meant to sound and if so it is going to be a very long annoying road for the rest of us...lol

Jenny_D - posted on 03/20/2012

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My daughter went through a whiney phase for about a year and I worked very hard EVERY SINGLE DAY to get it to stop. What seemed to eventually work for me was when I helped her *properly* verbalize what she wanted. If she would start whining about wanting juice for example, I would say "how about asking, 'mommy, can I please have some juice'?" This seemed to catch on and she now has very good manners and I can tell that she thinks about how to properly ask me a question.



Also, over the course of time I would try to ignore it, or tell her that I would only listen if she asked nicely. I would always let her know that nobody likes whining and that she needs to calm down and try again. Just keep pluggin' away at it and over time it will get better :o)

Megan - posted on 03/20/2012

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Hahahaha, sorry to laugh it's just good to know I'm not the only one. My 5 year old whines all the time, well that is except for when he takes a break from whining to terrorize his 2 year old brother. Its gotten to the point where I just ignore most of if anymore because nothing else has worked for me. Mine does it for attention when I'm taking care of my infant. Good luck.

Rebekah - posted on 03/19/2012

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How about NOT responding to it at all? Just simply state, when you can stop whining and use your big boy words I will respond to you. He will soon figure out he will get no attention and no response from whining and use his words.

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