How can I get my four year old son to talk about what he did in school?

Sarah - posted on 01/06/2010 ( 6 moms have responded )

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My son is four years old and this is the first time he's been in a school setting. He goes Monday, Wednesday and fridays and ever time I ask him what he did he tells me nothing. I ask him tons of questions. Some times I feel like I might be annoying him but I want to know what he does. I think maybe he doesn't like school so he doesn't want to talk about it. Please any advice would be great I want him to like school and talking to me or at least his father about it.

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He's 4. At that age they don't really understand the broad questions. So asking specific questions like Lyndsay suggested is better. Heck I didn't start getting a detailed answer to the "what did you do in school today" until like 1st grade. I got "I dunno" unless I asked for specifics.

I'm sure he likes school fine, he just doesn't know how to answer!

Lyndsay - posted on 01/06/2010

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You can try to ask more specific questions, such as "Did you colour pictures today?" "Did you play games with your friends?", etc. You might only get yes or no answers but at least you can direct the conversation in a way that you're actually getting the information. If you get a chance to talk to his teacher you can ask her whats they did that day, so that you're armed with a topic to discuss. You can also ask the teacher how he's doing with the other kids, if he's getting along well with them or if he's isolated. That can make a huuuge difference.

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Teresa - posted on 01/03/2014

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Hi Sarah, what you are describing is exactly what I am going through with my 5 year old son. I know this thread is a few years old now, but what was the outcome for your child?

Sarah - posted on 01/07/2010

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I do ask my son yes and no questions but he seems irrated when I ask him and tells me he doesn't want to talk about it. When we had a parent teacher conference the teacher told me that he doesn't like circle time. He likes spending time by himself or with one other child. He is also having a hard time with learning to write his name and his speech sometimes is hard to understand. We are currently looking into a speech therapist. I think he is just frustrated with the situation but I don't know what to do.

Brandi - posted on 01/06/2010

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My daughter is sort of the same way. She says "I played and learned" when I say "played and learned what???" she says just played and learned. lol. Kids aren't into details. I would suggest that if you are able, take a day off from work *if you are a working mom* or find someone you trust to watch any other children you might have and volunteer for a day at his school as classroom helper. You will get to see EXACTLY what he does and you will have some idea of why he can't seem to tell you what he did. My daughter plays a little of EVERYTHING they have to offer at her school and she is learning without even knowing it *as all the toys are of some educational value* He probably doesn't remember exactly what he did in school. There are probably LOTS of activities for him to do. At my daughter's school it is very KID based. The room is set up for the kids to have OODLES of FUN and EDUCATIONAL things to do of ALL varieties (math, science, reading, arts, pretend, computers, active play, logical thinking, puzzles, building, you name it they have it available) and the kids are encouraged to play whatever they want for a specified amount of time. The teacher leads activities throughout the day in short, structured segments. Definitely try to volunteer for a day. I guarantee you'll have as much fun as your son (if not more lol). I really enjoy getting to go with my daughter to school and she loves for me to come along (i only can make it once every month or so cuz I have a 2 yr. old son and I watch another child while my daughter is at school, so I have to tell his mom to make other arrangements for him when i do go with her). It's a lot of fun and a great learning experience for you to see how your son is developing socially and you will learn why he isn't telling you what he did. He can't honestly remember it all. He only knows he's having a blast. :-))))

Sarah - posted on 01/06/2010

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I have been teaching Preschool for 8 years and I also have a three year old son. All Preschool aged kids say nothing, even if they just got done doing something they thought was really cool. Ask him questions like "Who did you play with outside" or "What did you play with at play time?". He may still not be able to answer those questions very well, but at least it narrows the day down a little for him. If you can, it might be nice to go to school with him for a day or an hour or two. Most preschools have an open door policy with parents and most teachers don't mind if parents observe. It might give you a better idea of what he does all day or if he is liking school.

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