How come I'm still not in the mood for sex?

Brittanyd13 - posted on 02/18/2012 ( 11 moms have responded )




My son is one i am still breastfeeding and I still am not in any mood for sex?

Does anyone else feel this way. Or know how to help? Don't want my husband to cheat or anything cause I'm never in the mood to do anything with him. It's really not his fault I just am never feeling sexy enough. Nor do I feel like I have time!


Stifler's - posted on 02/19/2012




I agree with Joanna I used to have a raging sex drive and now..... nothing. Damn the pill!


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Mandy - posted on 07/10/2014




Jamie, have you talked to your doctor and had your thyroid checked? It might not be you. After we have children, our bodies change, our hormones are all different and we think it's just because of our new lifestyle, but that's not always the case. Extra fatigue and low sex drive are classic signs for hypothyroid. Have you gained weight or had trouble losing weight lately? It's at least worth a conversation with your Dr. :)

And in response to the original question, I rarely wanted sex while I was breastfeeding my 2nd son. I BF for a full year, so I'm sure my husband was bummed out about that, lol. But once we weaned, my drive is coming back and our intimacy is getting right back on track. So again, hormones play a huge part in it and I think some of us are just more sensitive to hormone changes than others. But you're definitely not alone. :)

Jamie - posted on 07/10/2014




My son turns 3 next month and I still have no sex drive, I'm tired all the time and when my husband wants to wake me up for some nighttime nookie I snap at him because I have a job where i have to be to work early like 5 am so I have the rest of the early afternoon thru evening with our son. He complains that we used to have sex all the time before I was pregnant but now I don't even really like my breasts touched. I love my huband, but there must be something wrong with me. Anyone else have this problem?

Tara - posted on 03/05/2013




Me and my husband ( 5 years married) always had sex and then went on the pill it slowed down but not to bad but once I had our son then went back on the pill when he was 3 months and it was totally GONE...!! And it got to the point where he thought it was him. I never thought anything of it thinking it was me after the baby. This went on for about 1 1/2year and having sex about 1 maybe 2 times a month wasn't working. So I talked with a girlfriend who to say it nice has had ALOT of men and after her son she was going threw the same thing with the PILL.. so she got off of it and got a iud and now she is great. So I got fed up and stop taking the pill. After 2 months I am 100% back to normal. We are now about 4-6 times a week. I would never go back on the pill ever again. After my son it wasn't good for me. I hope this helps.. I know when I was going threw the no sex drive I thought there was something wrong with me and that I was the only one..!!
Hope this helps

Stifler's - posted on 02/25/2012




It is non hormonal? The pill has a lot of good pouints for me that's all my snail trail hasnt grown back and my skin has cleared right up

Sarah - posted on 02/18/2012




I had the same problem after I had my third child. I was just so tired. My husband actually talked to me about it because it was bothering him. So after that I told myself i do want to have sex. I do want my husband to be happy. I am in the mood. Having the positive attitude really helped no matter how tired I was. The result was were have been having the best sex and we have been together for 9 1/2 years. For the not feeling very sexy is how I felt too. I also lost most of the weight I gained while I was pregnant by working out which is also hard to try and find the time to do it but it was worth it. You are not alone. Hopefully some of this helps. Good Luck!

Kay - posted on 02/18/2012




It can take a while to get back in the swing. "Fake it 'til you feel it" is a good strategy--a lot of times your body will take over and do what comes naturally.

Everyone has body issues after having a baby. It's totally natural. But those changes that you see are because you carried his child, and at least for my fiancé, that is apparently irresistible. So often we don't feel comfortable talking about these things with our partners, but he's truly your biggest ally when it comes to seeing yourself as sexy again--so I would definitely let him know if you aren't feeling attractive.

Breast feeding causes hormone changes. If you are taking any birth control with it, that can exacerbate things. I'd you are feeling depressed or unhappy overall, that can hurt your drive too.

I would definitely bring it up to your doctor the next time you have an appointment. Like suggested below, it can help to rule out medical reasons. I don't know if I would make a special trip for it, but that would be entirely up to you.

Good luck!

Chrystal - posted on 02/18/2012




Breastfeeding lowers ovulation hormones which lowers your sex drive so that's maybe why you aren't in the mood plus well being a mom is exhausting and not real sexy. My youngest is 8 months and what I did was fake it I put on the outfits I know my husband finds sexy even though I'm not totally happy with how I look in them right now and I think about what he sees when he looks at me and that is a sexy woman. I tried to be more open to my husbands affection I didn't automatically say no because I wasn't in the mood at the beginning sometimes it's just I was to stressed from mommy duty to think about if I was in the mood. Doing both those things have helped keep the connection with my husband and as time went on I felt more in the mood and now I'm even the one starting stuff at times again. Also I talked with my husband and let him know that since having children things in the bedroom had changed for me and I was having troubles and he was really understanding and would give extra attention when I needed it that didn't have an end goal of having sex. I'd suggest making an appointment with your doctor just to be sure it's not medical though. Good luck it's something really common for women so don't feel like your alone in feeling that way.

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