How do i get my 13 month old to sleep in his crib all night long with no bottle?

Melissa - posted on 02/13/2010 ( 4 moms have responded )

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my son has gotten used to being with us, i know i did a very bad thing by creating a family bed and now im lieing in it. we cuddle for him to fall asleep, with a bottle i know bad mommy but it works and we have tried just putting him down but he will just play, but anyway he will stay asleep for maybe 2 to 4 hours and then bam awake crying for mommy. i go pick him up, bring him to bed and in less than 30 seconds hes asleep, how can i get him to go back to sleep without bring him to bed cuz i let him stay to make sure hes really asleep and i fall asleep and the next thing i know its 7am and hes waking me up with the normal smile and "Hi" what do i do? i need some normal sleep cuz my bed is not big enough for the three of us and im running out of energy

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Kirsty - posted on 12/10/2012

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Hi guys I am new to this group. My little boy is 13 months and goes down in his cot awake around 8pm he doesn't cry just goes straight to sleep. He usually sleeps in his own cot until about 2am then wakes up screaming for me. I know I have done the wrong thing but I started taking him in beside me as he screams until I go through and I'm in flats :/ anyone any ideas what to do? I have done controlled crying which has paid off as he goes down ok now without crying. x

Melissa - posted on 02/15/2010

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I really like your idea about the bedtime routine, and i wish we could do that but, i work second shift and he sometimes is awake when i get home and sometimes is sleeping already, and daddy doesnt always have him readdy for bed, like pjs or a bedtime snack, when i get home after 10 or 12 hours i just wanna go to bed and we seem to get stuck on the same track, maybe ill try this on a weekend, when im home to get daddy also in the routine..... my only problem with him crying it out is we live in a duplex and we live downstairs, and i dont want to be the annoying neighbor that lets her baby cry for hours.

Rebecca - posted on 02/13/2010

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Tough one!! He sounds like he needs to learn to go to sleep in his own bed, so that when he wakes at night (as they all do) he can resettle himself.



First - pick a time when you are feeling emotionally ready for the task, and have some help at hand, coz it will be challenging!



Talk to him about sleeping in his own bed. Some would suggest letting him cry it out - and i have no issue with that if you think it will work for you, but I'm guessing from the tone of your post that you might prefer a gentler option? First - if he just plays in his bed, does he eventually go to sleep? If so - go with that. I'd focus on a good bedtime routine - dinner, bath, books/songs, bed. With my second we read books quietly in her room, then turned off the light and sat and had a cuddle and sang some songs quietly in her room til she was really sleepy. I would then put her in her bed and say goodnight. I would sometimes have to stay and sing again while she was in bed, or go back and remind her it was bedtime, but she eventually got the idea!



It is time-consuming, but an "easier" option in terms of the seperation and tears.



Another idea - one of my kids went into a "big bed" quite young, and we lay down together on her bed for a cuddle before sleep - same routine you currently have, but at least not the same bed!



Maybe introduce a cuddly toy?



Try getting rid of the bottle, but I wouldn't do everything all at once. I would be trying to make it water rather than milk or juice though.



Good luck! I know the dilemma of loving the closeness with your child, and needing the sleep and not having the energy to deal with it at night, but at the same time needing your bed and your night back!!!

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