how do i get my baby father to start helpin me out with his son i was 19 when i found out i was prego he was so exctied as my belly got bigger and bigger but when i went into labor he kept tellin me no i wasnt and was playin video games everythin was goin good til i was in labor for 3 days end up havein a c section cuz baby was too big for me to push out he didnt wanna stay in the hospital with me he wanted to go home nd play video games with his brother the whole time i was in the hospital all he talked about was his video games not nothin bout his son he said honey u can go to sleep i know your tired from all the labor and ill take care of the baby woke up at 230 and baby was cryin he would get up to change and feed him so the same day i was still numb from all the meds in so much pain couldnt move at all but yet i was doin all the work we stayed in the hospital for 2 weeks becouse i busted my stiches and i had the baby blues but when we got home it was a lot worse all he did was play the video game and when i told him i need a break i need to take a shower or go eat he would get mad bout me giving him the baby then we got our own place and it seem like he was gone more with his friends then spend time with his son now we are living with my mom and now he plays the game from the time he gets up to the early hours of the morning at like 9 .00 10.00 in the morning and he cant see why im mad yea he works a few hours a day but i know i lot more people who have babys and there mans help out and everytime i tell him he need to help more he tells me hes gonna leave now jayden is callin other people daddy what can i do he dont spend anytime with him what can i do to change it


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-Let me just say, If your baby is under one yr. old, it's normal for him to call other men da-da or other women ma-ma..

-Okay now, first of all, never stay with someone just because you two have a baby together.. i don't know if that's your case, but he clearly does not care for anyone but himself and his precious games..

-I know you probably want your son to have a father figure very badly, but you can't force anyone to do what they don't want to do.. He has alot of growing up to do and if you don't remove yourself from that situation it'll only get worst.

-Your son doesn't need any Part-time parents in his life, that's worse than not knowing the father at all. I would put him out, because he should be man enough to provide for the 3 of you in the first place. And if he can't give you guys the love and support y'all need, then he doesn't deserve you.

-I'm sure he knows why you are complaining and upset, but he doesn't care enough to admit his faults. I hope you know your own self worth and if not, do what's right for your child, because at the end of the day his well being is what's most important.

-Shower him with love and be the best mother that you can be. I would break it down for your baby's father, let him know you can't allow him to continue to neglect your child... jayden will grow to love him & end up completely attached to someone who doesn't care about him.

-Do it for Jayden, because he deserves to have the people in his life who truly loves him. & i know you might love the father, but trust me that isn't what love is about, it may hurt but sometimes to have to survive the storm in order to gain the sunshine in your life. Be brave and keep your head up!


View replies by

Janessia - posted on 02/20/2013




umm i did leave him for 8 mo found out i was pregnant with my daughter he started changeing we started working things out after i had her i broke it off again dont know if ill ever go back to him right now im a single mother of to beautiful babys i go to collage full time work part time i just wonder if i made the right choice im not stoping him from seeing his kids but he started bringing this girl around my kids and it was ok for her to be called mommy so i fliped out so now we are going to court to do child support and coustdy not sure if i made the right choice bout him but i know i just gotta be strong for my kids

Michelle - posted on 02/02/2013




Why would you have another child with him if he couldn't man up with the first?

You have made the choice to stay and have another baby so I really don't know what you want us to say. As far as I can see, ladies 2 years ago were telling you to leave him but you didn't.

Janessia - posted on 02/02/2013




i just had a nother baby my daughter nd things has not changed he found a job but he does everything in his power to loose his job he lost his car he doesnt help nor show interest in any of the kids i been so depressed lateley its not even funny he tells me he feeds my son but the same plate of food is still sittin there no one will take him in cuz they know how he is my daughter jaylah crys when he holds her cuz he was not at the hospital he was there the day she was born the he left and i just dont know what i can do or how much i can take anymore

Jessica - posted on 11/22/2011




leave, he clearly doesnt give a nut job. But give him a warning first. Give him a week to redo his ways and tell him the minute it goes back, ur gone. U dont deserve it, neither does ur baby.

Stifler's - posted on 11/21/2011




he has a gaming addiciton. it sounds like he's never grown up. he needs to get a real job, pull his finger out or get out. you don't need him around if he isn't even helping.

Jamie - posted on 11/21/2011




I know it is not easy, ive been there. Sounds like your babies dad is scared to grow up and does not want to face reality. You cant make him change or do anything he dosent want to do. What you can do however is continue to be the best mom you can be for your son. You are an amaziing mom and you have to believe it. You have enough love for your son. It means you need to make decisoins for you and your son that reflect it. Dont wait around for him to decide he wants to grow up. If he wants to be in your sons life he would be.
I was a single mom for a long time. I know how you feel, and it hurts and its hard. But you can do it, you dont have to put up with the bs. You deserve to be with someone who knows your worth and treats you accordingly.

Janessia - posted on 11/20/2011




its like hes gettin mad more when i tell him to help he rather buy a stupied video game then to buy his son what he needs nd im stuck tryin to make ends meet and get what he needs its just like being a single parent my ad wasnt there when i was growning up and its like the game is more importaion then us i get so pissed cuz hes not helpin at all i am a 24 /7 mom only get an hour or 2 or sleep after i put jayden to sleep him nd hisnd his cuzzo is always her get mad at the game and yell at the tv like its gonna talk to them back and they wake jayden up and like always i have to put him to sleep i wish he could under stand what i go throu on a day to day basic takein care of jayden is not easy hes startin to crawl gets into everythin and take care of the house work its crazy i get no time to my self when i do get pissed enough to put the baby on him and walk away he takes him to my mom its like its not my moms kid its his why shoul she watch him while you go to sleep or play the video game and we was suppose to get married but 5 years ago he was way different never played the game always spent time with me now things change i wish guys knew how much girls give up to have these babys we give up everythin friends childhood school self esteem lots others but one thin i would never regret my son i regret his dad but i would never regret my son hes my world

Kelina - posted on 11/18/2011




Leave. or rather kick him out. If he is truly interested in being a dad and a partner to you he will pull his act together and stop being so unhelpful. If not then at least you don't have to go through the pain of having your son get older and ask why daddy doesn't love him. He needs to step up or step out.

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