how do i get over the body change?

Caitlin - posted on 08/21/2009 ( 10 moms have responded )

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i'm 21 and have a 4 month old daughter, i've lost a lot of the baby weight but i'm still really uncomfortale with my self. i know your body changes when u have a baby and thats just part of life but i really feel like my self esteem has suffered . my fiance is oblivious to me feeling this way. i also bought a gym membership but i find it so hard to have the energy to go all the time. i'd really like someone to give me a shout and let me know what they think. thanks

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Nicole - posted on 08/21/2009

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Your body just accomplished an amazing feat: you brought a whole new life into this world! It takes a while to get back to "normal", and even then it's not the same. I gained 50 lbs with my pregnancy and it's taken me 8 months to get back to my pregnancy weight. Shape is another story...I feel like my hips are wider and my boobs are bigger because I'm nursing. But it's ok because I have a beautiful little boy and he's totally worth it. Just don't get hung up comparing yourself to other women, especially ones who haven't had kids. It's a losing game. Go shopping, get yourself some cute "transitional" clothes for the time being. You'll feel better wearing clothes that fit, even if they are a size or 2 bigger than your regular size. But please don't get hung up on that, it's just a number to help you find something that fits! You are not your pants size! Also, if you do happen to find yourself saying "I wish I had her legs/butt/stomach/whatever..", just think someone's thinking that same thing about YOU.

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Caitlin - posted on 08/23/2009

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thank you ladies i really appriciate all the great advise. I'm just glad to her i'm not the only one in this boat. And my magic secret for getting most of the weight gone is walking, but i mean everywhere. i dont own a car so i walk and take transit. Its made a big difference.

thanks



caity

Elayna - posted on 08/23/2009

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We are super women in a million ways, but we also give up a lot to be moms. My son is 15 months and I am just now learning to accept my body. I lost all my baby weight within 6 months, but my body has yet to return to the previous shape. Remember that every woman is different and our bodies are different. Besides, we don't get personal trainers and chefs to help us lose the weight like celeb moms do. Give it at least a year and if you are still unhappy, talk to your doctor about your best options.

Marcia - posted on 08/22/2009

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First off, congratulations on loosing the baby weight - that is awesome, especially so soon! I'm sorry you are feeling this way...just give it time though please, I think hormones play a lot into things and until those get back to kind of normal your body can still be kind of crazy (like hitting that plateau someone was talking about).

p.s. My little one is seventeen months and I'm still not back to my pre-pregnancy weight.

Jessika - posted on 08/22/2009

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Hey Caitlin, try not to be too hard on yourself. I say it takes 9months to put on the weight atleast at the very least give yourself 9 months to get serious about getting into shape. I dont know what hours your fiancee works but when my hubby got home at 5 everyday that'd be my time to go to the gym for an hour. Ask him to look after your daughter whie you go and spend time out for you. You need it. You'll feel better too. Remember, happy mum=happy baby:)

Olivia - posted on 08/21/2009

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It's just part of the depression after baby blues. It will go away in time, get some fresh air to help relax you. Even take a nice bath with your baby and enjoy your new body. Eventually your body will go back to normal with mild to moderate excersize. I had the same problem and just got used to my body and I'm in love with it and so is my husband. It's going to take your fiance some time to get used to the new you, so don't worry he's probably struggling with the same thing you are.

Keela - posted on 08/21/2009

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I am having issues to. I gained 65 lbs. My baby is 14 weeks and Ive only lost 35. I was super skinny before so I dont mind being thicker, but the jello belly is a real downer. I have a gym membership to but my body seems to have stopped responding. I am alos BF. I tell myself my body needs the weight to make her milk. Thats how I feel a tad bit better!

Rebecca - posted on 08/21/2009

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thanks nicole, your advice made me feel heaps better, and yes, i`d rather be a size 12-14 and be healthy with a beautiful baby boy, than stick thin and no baby :(
you have made mefeel better :)
bec xx

Rebecca - posted on 08/21/2009

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Hi Caitlin

firstly let me just say WELL DONE!!!! You have done such a fantastic job to lose all your baby weight so fast, can i ask you what your secret is?

I put on 15kgs with my baby, quite a bit more than i was anticipating, but i did have such an enourmouse amount of swelling and fluid retention. I have managed to lose 8kgs and my baby is 3 months, but i have just hit a plateu and it has been about a month and the scales just won`t move. I have been finding it really difficult to find something to wear and if i do buy myself something, it tends to be somewhat "oversized". I know i really need to turn my snacking habits around, but the breastfeeding cravings sometimes seem to be worse than the pregnancy ones were! I also feel really horrible about my body image, i have the WORST streatch marks ever-it`s not fair i put cocoa butter on then everyday since i found out i was pregnant :(

My face looks old and haggard to me and i try and dress myself up, but i look at pics and just don`t look anywhere near the same.

I try to boost my self confidence by thinking "it took 9 months to put on the baby weight, so allow 9 months to get it off", so maybe if we allow 9 months to get ourselves feeling better about ourselves too, it might just be what we need.

But what an amazing thing we have all been through (childbirth) and what an amazing toll it has taken on our bodies too, i`m sure it will recover in time.

bec :)

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I went through a lot of the same feelings that you are describing and let me tell you, I lost all of the baby weight but still felt so out place in my own body! It took a while but I did start to feel better. Basically I had to start over in my head. By that I mean, try not to think about what you looked like "before" because your body just went through such a tremendous experience! be proud of what you accomplished!! I even had to throw out some of my old clothes, not because I couldnt fit into them but because they didnt fit "right" anymore. Look at this as a way to start fresh, try new styles have fun. Besides, be patient its only been four months girl geez, give yourself some credit! as for your guy -Holy crap no matter how supportive they want to be, I just dont think they could ever comprehend how it all feels! Anyways, what I'm saying is it can take a while to get back to yourself (at least it did for me) Try and squeeze in some time for yourself to boost your spirits, even if its just a bubble bath or something. (not easy I know) and talk to your Dr. if you start feeling really bad, post-partum depression is really common and sometimes a little help is all you need to get through the first and very tough, months.

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