How do I HANDLE 2 BOYS-A TODDLER AND A BABY???And a difficult MOTHER IN LAW???

Samantha - posted on 09/07/2012 ( 4 moms have responded )

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I have 2 boys,a 3 year old and a 7 mnth old,I work everyday except sundays from 8- 5 as a waitress,My husband works mostly in the eveings,as he is a Restaurant Manager, meaning im alone with two kids at night-



My toddder is so naughty latelty I DONT know what is wrong,he cries for everything and does not listen,and that causes me to get really angry,that I end up shouting and yelling at him almost all the time,from when I get home til he goes to bed-then I feel really bad!- Please help me what can I do??I feel like we have no connection...



All I do is work and look after kids,



My mother in law is also mager issue as she lets my son do what ever he wants,always gives him his way,since he was born,she always wants to act like she is his mom!!ahhh I hate that!!!The funny thing is that she hardly wants anything to do with the new baby



(My husband also has an older brother,who still stays with his mom--cause she thinks the sun shines out of his ass??dont know why cause he has nothing!!)

but when my older one was a baby she always wanted to take over-I HATED THAT!!!, I almost feel more connected to my baby as it is as if my mother in law stole my eldest son`s baby time from me,



How can I GET MY 3 YEAR OLD TO HAVE A STRONG BOND WITH ME AGAIN,AND GET HIM TO BE MORE OBBDIENT???without having my baby also feel unloved???



And what to do about my mother in law???Cant talk to her about it then she wants nothing to do with us for 3 months.



She is so bad that she wount pick the 3 year old up to come and visit her for the day!!!No-he must sleep by her,IN HER BED!!! FOR THE WHOLE WEEKEND,ps-note the hours that I work,when do I SEE MY SON,or else she doesnt want to fetch and look after him,and she stays close by...She doesnt come visit us unless it is to pick him up--IS ALL THIS NORMAL???She also baths with my 3 year old son-What the hell???



PLEASE MOMS/LADIES HELP!!!

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Clair - posted on 09/08/2012

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Oh god so there's no hope that she'll change her ways!! Lol you've just got to hope that as he gets older he starts to find it annoying too haha umm it got better when he was about 2 but then I had my daughter when he was over 3 and I had an instant bond with her and then started to feel guilty again that I wasn't giving him enough attention and the bond slipped again, I try to have time alone with him but it always ends up with him being naughty and i think why do I bother?! Now he's older he doesn't want to be cuddled or kissed coz its not cool its really hard to connect with him again :( plus my to eldest kids don't get along very well so I'm always so annoyed with them for fighting and arguing 24/7, now I have a 6 week old who has reflux its even harder to spend time with them I'm hoping once baby gets a bit older my life will become less stressful haha they adore my mum and she sees me as an adult now not her kid with kids lol she spoils them like a nanny should but also puts them in their place when naughty so its a nice balance not that they listen lol good luck, sounds like your doing a great job and remember to make time for yourself its the only thing that keeps me sane :)

Samantha - posted on 09/08/2012

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Thanks for your posts....



My mother in law knows what she does is wrong,once when we had a bit of a dissagreemant she stayed away for 3 months untill I contacted her again,then she changed for a while and then went back to her old ways....



Anyway,how is your bond now with your elder son???Is it better/stronger or is he still very attached to your mom?

Clair - posted on 09/07/2012

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Eventually I spoke out and she realised what she was doing and was apologetic so maybe she doesn't know she's doing anything wrong, my kids also sleep in bed with nanny when they stop over even tho they have a room there think its just a nannys love lol just stand your ground otherwise this is going to stress you out even more, it does sound ott to me tho! And would definatley irritate me lol good luck :)

Clair - posted on 09/07/2012

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My 3 year old daughter is the same she doesn't listen to a word I say!! Its really frustrating every day lol but I've caused it as I gave her everything she's ever asked for oops lol and now her demands are un reasonable so I'm saying no and she just keeps on pushing my buttons!! So maybe your sons behaviour is down to your mother in law spoiling him too much and not enough discipline from her??? I know how you feel about the bond thing I have a 7 year old boy and lived wih my mum when I had him and she done most things for him as I didn't have a clue and felt like it all had to be done her way even tho I wanted to do things differently so I didn't really bond and still now I feel guilty about not trying hard enough and giving in to my mum. Looking at my mum's relationship with all 3 of my kids (I have a newborn too) I'd say that grandparents are there to spoil and to be devoted to their grandchildren within moderation and in line with your boundaries, my mum now thinks what would clair do and disciplines/rewards the way I do otherwise I tell her off haha my mother in law doesn't care about my kids we don't hear from her unless we make the effort so I would just explain to her that the way she treats your kids is making your life extremely difficult as your always gonna come off as the bad guy compared to her and set your boundaries,if she loves him as much as you say she won't be able to stay away if you've annoyed her. When I had my 3 y/o my mum didn't even cuddle her for 6 weeks and was totally focused on my 7y/o as she didn't want him feeling left out so...

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